Nighthawks and Wonderwalls
by CherBella
Summary: Bella seeks refuge from horrible nightmares at a small all-night diner, where Edward is the new night-shift waiter. Together they help save and heal each other from their pasts... extended from the original Love Through Lemons contest entry
1. Chapter 1

_This is my entry for the "Love Through Lemons" Contest by tby789 and Lolashoes_

**A/N:**

So...this is my first posted fan fic and also my first lemon. Popping my cherry on both of these for a contest ABOUT lemons–gotta be insane on my part, I know!! But when I first read the concept and rules of the contest, this idea came to me and the story just sort of started writing itself.

The title comes from two things that came to me while writing:

_**Nighthawks**_ is a famous painting of an all-night diner by American Painter Edward Hopper

_**Wonderwall**_ is of course the song by Oasis, but I am actually referencing the heartbreakingly beautiful version by Ryan Adams...it just randomly started running through my head while I was writing the last part and I realized that the lyrics were perfect for the story so I included them.

Links to both of these are on my profile.

All copyright and trademarked items mentioned herein belong to their respective owners. (SM & Noel Gallagher) The remaining content is all mine. No copying or reproduction of this work is permitted without my express written authorization.

* * *

The young woman walked into the 24-hour diner and slid into a booth, setting a book down on the table. She placed her elbows on the table and leaned forward, massaging her temples with her fingers.

The young man stood up from behind the counter and started wiping it down with a damp rag. As he looked up he saw the customer who had just came in and his breath caught in his throat. She had beautiful, warm chestnut brown hair that hung in messy tendrils down past her shoulders, hiding her profile. Her tiny slim fingers were rubbing her forehead…was she in pain? She was hunched over the table. He knew he should bring her a menu…but instead stood rooted behind the counter, unable to take his eyes off of her.

His boss emerged from the kitchen and immediately walked over to the woman in the booth.

"Bella, babe!" His voice boomed across the nearly empty diner. "Here again? Another nightmare sweetie?" His voice lowered to a quieter level for the last statement but the man behind the counter still heard every word.

She looked up at Emmett and flashed him a weak smile. "Hey Em. Yeah…couldn't get back to sleep after…you know." She looked down briefly, then back at Emmett, changing the subject, "So what are you doing here tonight? You usually don't work the night shift anymore."

Emmett reached up and began scratching his head, "Yeah well…it's Sam's night off so someone has to man the kitchen. And Alice, she quit three days ago, no notice, nothing!' Just up and ran off with some drifter that came in here! Sheesh! Always knew that gal was a little flighty." Emmett shook his head in disbelief. "So anyway, I'm here for a few nights 'til I get the new guy trained." He turned and motioned to the man behind the counter who was still just staring at both of them. "Hey Eddie, come on over here, man."

The young man put the rag down on the counter and hurried over to the booth with the beautiful woman, his heart rate speeding up.

Emmett put his hand on the man's shoulder and turned toward Bella. "Bella, this is Edward, my new night shift guy." Then he turned toward Edward. "Edward this is one of my best customers, Bella." He pointed a finger at Edward and looked him in the eye. "You take good care of her when she comes in, you hear?" Bella blushed. Edward nodded his head vigorously and Emmett patted him on the shoulder. "Now go get a cup of tea with honey for Bella." Edward took off back to the kitchen.

Emmett turned back toward Bella, nodding his head toward the kitchen. "Just so you know, Edward can't speak. Lady from the employment office that came with him to the interview said he was in some car accident when he was just a little guy. Vocal chords were damaged beyond repair. Poor kid lost his parents in the accident too. Grew up in the foster system. Seems to be good kid though–hard worker, trustworthy–so far."

Bella's eyes widened as she looked toward the kitchen. _Car accident_…she shuddered and closed her eyes and started rubbing her temple again. Emmett's expression softened as he looked down at her. _Poor girl…God only knows how long it had been since she's had a good night's sleep._ He patted her shoulder. "Well I'll let you alone, sweetie…you need anything, just holler!" he said as he walked away.

A short time later, Bella felt smooth fingers touching her arm, a bolt of electricity sparking her skin. She jumped at the unexpected contact and her eyes flew open. She found herself looking up into the most mesmerizing green eyes. Right now they were wide with shock...and concern.

Edward immediately moved his hand away when she jumped at his touch. He'd felt a jolt of heat when he touched her…did she feel it too? Is that why she jumped? Or did he just catch her by surprise? He looked down into her deep dark-brown eyes, eyes so deep he could easily drown in their depths. Her skin was the smoothest, alabaster-like perfection. Her only human flaw were the dark purplish circles under her eyes. He longed to reach down and smooth them away with his fingers, if only he could.

Bella's skin still burned at the spot where he had touched her, and she rubbed it absent-mindedly while still lost in his gaze. She glanced down and realized he had set down her tea on the table so quietly she hadn't even heard him. He must have touched her arm to get her attention. She smiled softly up at him. "Thank you, Edward," she murmured quietly.

Edward's lips broke out into a wide crooked grin, lighting up his whole face. Her heart did a little flip flop. He nodded his head at her slightly, and then turned and walked away. Bella's gaze followed him. It had been such a long time since she had made any kind of special notice of a man, but she couldn't deny that he was gorgeous–a strong jaw line with a couple days' worth of stubble, lean but well-defined muscles hiding under his t-shirt. And he had this sexy, unruly mass of auburn hair. He looked like he should be smiling from the pages of a magazine not slinging hash in the middle of the night at some dive diner. Bella felt a pang of sadness at the story of his past that Emmett had shared with her. But then again, she of all people knew life was not fair. She sighed sadly and slowly turned back to her table and picked up her book.

Bella sat for almost two hours, drinking her tea, reading. Edward kept watching her while waiting on the other night-owl customers that wandered in. He had so many questions about her. Why was she here alone in the middle of the night? Why the dark circles under her eyes? Emmett had said something to her when she came in about "another nightmare." What haunted her so much that she couldn't sleep? He knew nothing about her…but he still wished there was something he could do to help her.

Finally Bella got up to leave. She looked up just then and caught him staring at her. He probably should have looked away or busied himself with doing something so she wouldn't know he was staring at her but…he just couldn't pull his eyes away. She smiled tentatively and he smiled shyly back.

Emmett came out of the kitchen and saw Bella gathering up her stuff. "Are you leaving us Bells?" he called out.

"Yeah…I should get back home."

"Well be careful babe, lots of crazies out this time of night!"

She rolled her eyes as she headed for the door. "Always am, Em."

As she left, Edward continued staring after her. Emmett sighed. He turned and spoke quietly to Edward, just loud enough so only he could hear.

"Bella lost her fiancé in a horrible car accident six months ago. She wasn't in the car with him at the time thank God, but they were fighting right before he took off. She's had a hard time of it ever since…has these constant nightmares that wake her up in the middle of the night. She is scared to go back to sleep so…she comes here." He looked over and saw Edward still staring out the door after her. "She only lives a couple blocks from here so she walks. She doesn't know it, but Sam or I usually follow her just to make sure she gets home okay. It's not safe for a woman to be walking the streets this late, but she's damn stubborn about it." Edward finally glanced over at him. Emmett nodded toward the door. "Go on. Be quiet, stay a safe distance so as not to scare her or let her know you're there," he warned. "I want you to consider it one of your job duties to do so whenever she comes in, you hear?"

Edward nodded vigorously, hurriedly untied his apron and headed out after her. Emmett smiled mischievously and headed back into the kitchen.

_**~O~X~O~X~O~X~O~X~**_

Once outside Edward looked down the street and saw her, about a block ahead, the light breeze blowing wisps of her hair around her. Edward moved slowly and quietly behind her, so that she wouldn't hear him. He didn't want to spook her. He was glad Emmett told him to follow her. He probably would have followed after her anyway…his heart ached for her after the story Emmett told him about her fiancé, and the nightmares. She was too beautiful to have experienced such tragedy.

Edward's eyes never left her. Much too soon she stopped in front of a red brick building and climbed the steps to the front door. Edward ducked behind a tree, though there was no way she could possibly see him behind her. Once she was inside, he moved back to the sidewalk and walked a few more steps closer to the building. He saw a light come on in one of the upstairs windows and his heart did a leap of joy and relief…that must be her apartment. He just stood there staring up at the window for a minute or two, until the light went off again. _Good night beautiful Bella, sweet dreams this time, _he whispered to her in his mind. Then he turned and headed back to the diner.

~O~X~O~X~O~X~O~X~

The next two weeks passed in much the same pattern. Two or three nights of the week Bella would come in, Edward would bring her a cup of tea, she would thank him, and then she would sit there and read and Edward would watch her. When she left he would follow her until she got to her apartment safely. On the nights she didn't come in, he still walked past her apartment building on his way home and would just stand there and stare up at her window. Sometimes her light would be on, most of the time not. When the window was dark, he would hope that meant she was getting a good night's sleep and that the nightmares weren't haunting her.

He began to live for the days she would come in, even though she didn't seem to notice him as anyone other than the boy who brought her tea. His heart would both leap joyously and break at the same time–happy she was there, but aching because he couldn't talk to her. He had lived almost all of his life not being able to speak and had learned to survive, to deal with the loss. He was kind of a loner anyway so it wasn't a huge burden most of the time. But certain times like these he cursed it…he wanted to talk to her so desperately. To ask her questions, find out what was going on in her mind…what she liked, what she disliked, what she thought of the world. He wanted to know everything about her.

~O~X~O~X~O~X~O~X~

For Bella, her nightmares were coming less and less and when they did, they were changing. Her dreams were of the car crash–the car erupting into fire while she is on the sidelines, screaming, watching Jacob's trapped body burning in the flames. No matter how she struggles and fights, her body is always rooted in place and she can't move, can't run to save him. But lately…after the car crash, after the flames erupt and before she can start screaming, two strong arms reach out from the darkness and pull her in toward them, turning her away from the horrific scene and embracing her, calming her, sheltering her. She always wakes before she can find out who this person is…her protector, her savior.

She laid in bed in the darkness for a while after getting home from another night at the diner…she tossed and turned. Eventually the exhaustion set in, her eyes drooped heavily and she drifted off to sleep.

_She was encircled by strong arms holding her, warming her…she didn't feel trapped– instead she felt like she was enveloped in a safe cocoon. She knew somehow that she would be okay…the arms would protect her. She looked up but it was dark and she couldn't see a face. She spoke, repeating the same question several times–"Who are you?" but he never answered. Suddenly everything got blurry and the dream changed. Hands were stroking her…lips kissing, sucking her breasts…fire…tingling…fingers touching her thighs, moving higher…meeting her wetness…entering her…moving…stroking…she moaned at the shock, at the pleasure…lips moving again, up her chest, up her neck to her jaw, finally capturing her lips, sucking and nipping…she moaned again, her hands gripping his shoulders, clutching his hair…reddish auburn hair…her eyes flew open…Edward was staring back at her…_

Bella shot up out of bed, shaking…_Edward?_ No…no…she shouldn't be thinking of him that way…she was betraying Jacob…and besides there was no way Edward would want her that way.

She didn't sleep the rest of the night. Now that she had two dreams to run from she wasn't sure she'd ever be able to sleep again.

~O~X~O~X~O~X~O~X~

Bella came into the diner again the next night. Edward was a little surprised as she rarely came in two nights straight. As he set her tea down on her table he noticed she looked particularly sad tonight, the circles under her eyes even darker. He tried to go back to work as usual but he just couldn't stay away. He was tired of staying away.

Bella could see Edward approaching the table out of the corner of her eye. Her heart rate sped up, she felt nervous. When he stopped she looked up at him. He was fidgeting…finally he cocked his head to look at the cover of her book. _Wuthering Heights._ He grimaced and cocked an eyebrow, turning to look back at her.

She glanced at the book cover and then back at him quizzically. "What?" she asked.

He frowned and tried gesturing; he was very agitated and very frustrated she could tell. Finally he pulled out his order pad and pen and sat down on the other side of the booth and started scribbling furiously. When he was done he pushed the pad across the table at her.

_Wuthering Heights? Really? Rather depressing isn't it?_

She read what he wrote then looked up at him incredulously. "Depressing? It's one of the classic romances of all time!"

He shook his head and pulled the pad back to him and scribbled some more then passed it back to her.

_Heathcliff and Cathy are so self-involved, so horrible to each other…how is that romantic?_

She read what he wrote and just stared back at him. She was so amazed that they were having a conversation, after all these weeks of him barely interacting with her. Yes he couldn't speak but…he had never tried this before with her.

He grabbed the pad back and wrote some more, then handed the pad back to her, his eyes shining with anticipation.

_So…please…tell me what you're thinking…why you like it. Convince me._

She read what he wrote then looked over at him. He was staring intently at her–he looked like he genuinely wanted to know what she thought. So she took a breath…and started talking.

It was a slow night and hardly anyone came in the diner. They sat there for hours talking back and forth. He went through two of the tiny order pads.

The next night Bella showed up again…this time with a full-size legal pad. When Edward brought her tea, she pushed the brand new pad of paper across the table toward him with a grin. Edward grinned right back at her and slid into the booth and started writing away.

This became their routine for the next few weeks. Many legal pads later, they had progressed from Wuthering Heights to other favorite books, to music, movies, other likes and dislikes…eventually even to the details of their lives. He shared with her what it was like to grow up without parents, his bleak experiences in the foster system and what it was like to not be able to communicate easily with the rest of the world. And eventually, one night…Bella finally told Edward everything–about she and Jacob, about the accident and the aftermath…and the horrible nightmares. It was difficult; she never spoke about it to anyone. But she felt so calm, so comfortable around him. She found it was easier than she expected to tell him, to say the words out loud. And she felt like a weight was lifted off her shoulders. Edward was so good, so patient, listening with concern and compassion. He fidgeted a lot with his hand and she thought he was going to reach out to touch her or take her hand in his…but in the end he didn't, he just sat there quietly, listening. Maybe she was just hoping for too much–maybe he just thought of themselves as friends. Her dreams about him had not stopped and they just increased her desire to be near him…to know what it would feel like to touch him, to kiss him.

The next time Bella came in, Emmett was working, so they didn't get to spend as much time together. Bella kept watching him while he worked…she missed him, even though they were in the same room.

Edward was frustrated–not only was Emmett around, but they had more customers than normal and he'd barely even gotten a chance to say hi to Bella. He looked over at her usual booth and…she wasn't there. He frowned; disappointed that he had missed her leaving.

But suddenly she was right there in front of him, so close he could feel her breath. As he looked into her eyes, she leaned up and touched her lips to his gently. He was so shocked he just stood there, and when he didn't move she quickly pulled away, her cheeks on fire. She looked down and mumbled an apology and…left. As he watched her leave, his senses finally came back to him and his heart started to sink, his stomach twisted in knots. She'd kissed him and he'd done nothing! She ran off because she probably thought he wasn't interested in her. Edward closed his eyes and his posture slumped in agony.

Emmett had been watching everything from the kitchen. _Idiot kid!_ He thought. He came out and slapped Edward on the back. "Well don't just stand there man!"

Edward looked up at him with desolate eyes.

"Go after her!" Emmett gave him a little push and Edward ran out the door. Emmett just shook his head and headed back to the kitchen.

~O~X~O~X~O~X~O~X~

Bella was nowhere in sight on the streets as Edward tore out of the diner. Hopefully she was safe at home already. He took off at a run toward her apartment.

~O~X~O~X~O~X~O~X~

Bella slammed the door behind her, breathing heavy from running all the way home. She leaned back against the door and slid all the way to the floor, and dropped her head into her hands, the tears starting to flow. What had possessed her to kiss him? She knew he couldn't possibly be interested in her that way. All she had done was cause herself more heartbreak…and embarrassment when he hadn't returned her kiss.

Just then there was a pounding on her door so loud she practically fell over. It scared her and her heart rate went into overdrive. She stood up and looked through the peephole. No…it wasn't…

She pulled open the door and looked up at Edward, his arms outstretched and hands gripping the sides of the doorframe, his chest heaving as he struggled to take in air…as if he'd been running. He looked at her and his eyes were shiny and pleading…and then he reached for her, grasping her face, pressing his lips forcefully against hers. Moving them hungrily, insistently…pouring all of his want and need from the past weeks into one kiss. Bella closed her eyes, her whole body going weak, the shock of electricity from his lips and his touch igniting slow burning embers everywhere. Needing more, she reached up and clutched at his hair, entwining her fingers in its messy strands. Edward's hands moved down to her waist, pulling her into him more tightly, savoring the softness of her lips, drowning in the taste of her mouth–sweet and tart as their tongues tangled and twisted around each other. They broke apart, their breathing heavy, their hearts pounding. Edward leaned his forehead on hers and he stared down into her eyes, knowing his touch needed to convey all he could not say. He cupped his hands around her face, his thumbs rubbing circles on her cheeks, over her lips. She reached up and clasped his hands in hers and pulled him into her apartment, letting the door slam shut behind him. She pulled his arms around her waist and she leaned up, capturing his soft tender lips into another fiery, intense kiss. His hands slid down from her waist to cup her ass, and he lifted her up into his arms. She wrapped her legs tightly around his waist, as he started forward then stopped. He pulled away from the kiss and looked at her with a question in his eyes. It took her a minute and then she giggled, realizing what he wanted. "Straight back, at the end of the hallway," she whispered softly. Before she knew it he was laying her gently on the bed and hovering over her, his eyes bright and anxious.

He was hesitating, unsure…she sensed his nervousness and reached down to the hem of his T-shirt and started pulling it upward. He pulled his arms up and finished taking his shirt off, while she ran her hands up his chest, over his nipples, up to his neck. At the feel of her touch, he closed his eyes and tilted his head back, taking a deep breath. When he opened them again his eyes were burning with hunger as he stared down at her. He reached for her face again, almost devouring her lips with a kiss so urgent, so primal. Bella felt jolts of both heat and cold traveling her body, making her shiver with every kiss, every touch.

Soon they were both moving…groping, tearing off clothing. Edward was having trouble balancing his overwhelming urgent need to be with her, with his need to go slow. He wanted her to know, through his kisses, through his touch, how he felt about her. He knew this was her first time since Jacob, and he wanted everything to be perfect for her, he didn't want her to regret anything.

When they were finally both in their underwear, Edward leaned over her and stared into her eyes and caressed her cheek. As his eyes swept over her body, his hand followed suit…caressing, touching, wanting to feel and touch every inch of her. He finally bent down to her breasts, sucking at her nipples through the lace and satin. They were already hard and straining against the thin fabric. He slid the straps down her shoulders and unhooked her bra, pulling it off and tossing it to the side. He bent down and placed little delicate kisses all around her breasts, licking and sucking at her now bare nipples with his tongue. Bella moaned and arched in response.

Bella's body was being overwhelmed with sensations and every little teasing touch and kiss from Edward just sparked more and more fires. His facial stubble on her skin felt like a match being struck against the back of a matchbook…each spot he nuzzled instantly going up in flames. She didn't know how much longer she could wait…she needed him so desperately. Jacob was the only other man she had ever been with, but it had never felt like this with him. Edward awakened so many things in her, so many nerve endings that she didn't even know she had.

Edward trailed kisses down her body to the edge of her panties. As he did with her bra, he placed light kisses on the fabric, moving down, parting her legs slightly for better access. God, she was so wet he could almost taste her through the fabric. He sucked lightly at the wettest point and he heard Bella cry out again. He swiftly slipped her panties off her body and settled back between her legs, licking and sucking her most sensitive spot. Bella arched deeply and clutched at Edward's hair.

"Edward, stop, please…"

His head jerked up immediately. Stop? Did she really just say stop?? Oh God, he thought, this was too much for her, too fast…she wasn't ready…she didn't want this. His heart fell. She tugged on his hair and then his face, indicating she wanted him closer to her. He moved up, his face hovering over her.

Bella saw Edward's eyes dull and a look of pain and rejection on his face. Her stomach did a flip-flop and she knew she had probably said the wrong thing…but she just couldn't take anymore. She cradled his face in her hands. "Edward," she said softly, forcing him to look at her. "You're driving me crazy…I just wanted you to stop with the teasing please…I need you, I need to feel you inside me…now." To illustrate she pressed her lips to his as hard as she could. She didn't think she could ever get enough of the feel of his firm full lips on hers. She pressed insistently and his lips opened and she slid her tongue into his mouth, sliding and moving with his, trying to get as deep as she could. As she reached down and started sliding his boxers off, he moved his hips and finally finished getting them off himself. Bella could feel how hard he was for her and she placed her hand over him and started stroking him…up…and down…slowly…teasing him almost as he had her. Edward's breathing got more erratic and he broke away from the kiss for a minute, his eyes squeezed shut. Bella's hands slid around to his ass and she dug her hands in, forcing him closer. Her ache was so intense her whole body was trembling. "Edward," she whispered in his ear, "Now, please…oh God please!"

Edward lost all control at her words and plunged into her deeply. She gasped and he forced himself not to move, to make sure she was okay…and selfishly to take a moment to relish the feeling of being in her, being this close to her. She felt so hot, so tight surrounding him. He was panting and he pressed his forehead to hers, his body almost shaking, wanting to move so desperately.

"It's okay Edward…please, I need to feel you…deeper…" Bella was breathing heavily too and felt like she was going to explode from the sensation.

Edward started moving then, deeper and faster with every stroke, completely filling her. They were both clutching each other tightly almost painfully, their skin slick with sweat…their need so urgent to meld their bodies together as tightly as they could.

For Bella, with every movement from Edward she felt herself getting lighter and lighter. For once she closed her eyes and did not see a car in flames. With each thrust he was healing her…filling the dark hole that had existed inside her for so long. He was making her whole again.

Bella dug her nails so deeply into Edward's shoulders she almost broke the skin. Her muscles were tightening around him, the spasms coming in never ending waves that were sending white-hot tremors over her whole body. She arched into Edward deeply and cried out his name before collapsing exhausted against the damp sheets.

Edward couldn't believe the feel of Bella's body, the reactions he drew from her…how long had he watched her at the diner and followed her home, never believing she could ever want him. He felt like if he never received another thing in this lifetime, this one night with Bella would be more than he ever deserved. And yet, greedily he also hoped to have a lifetime of nights like this with her, if she'd have him.

He felt her tightening up around him, and he knew he wouldn't last any longer. He heard her cry out his name and his whole body twitched in reaction and he slammed into her one last time as deep as he could and spilled himself into her, clutching the bed sheets to avoid grasping her too tightly.

Both spent and sated with each other, still in a haze, the room spinning, they stayed joined together, not wanting to separate just yet. As their breathing finally started to return to normal, Bella looked into Edward's eyes and saw they were damp and shiny with tears. Still frustrated with all he could not say, he leaned on one elbow and clasped one of her hands in his. He tapped his fingertips to his chest as if to say "_My_." Then he placed her whole hand over his beating heart so she could feel it…then he slowly moved her hand back towards her, placing it on her beating heart this time, and just held it there, their hands entwined.

Bella didn't need any words from him, she understood everything he meant. Tears sprang to her eyes too, and she took his hand and mimicked his motions, placing his hand on her heart and then back onto his. "Me too, Edward…me too," she whispered quietly, as they each continued staring at each other for what felt like an eternity.

~O~X~O~X~O~X~O~X~

_…There are many things that I would like to say to you_

_But I don't know how_

_I said maybe,_

_You're gonna be the one that saves me_

_And after all_

_You're my wonderwall…_


	2. Chapter 2

_**All copyright and trademarked items mentioned herein belong to their respective owners. (SM) The remaining content is all mine. No copying or reproduction of this work is permitted without my express written authorization.

* * *

**_

Bella felt the light of the morning sun hitting her eyelids, the warm rays slowly trying to coax her awake. She groaned and shifted deeper under the sheets, not wanting to wake from the delicious dream she had just experienced. It was another dream of Edward–holding her, kissing her, touching her…moving inside her. That last memory caused a jolt of desire through her body, and she moaned again. Finally opening her eyes, she was saddened to find herself alone in her bed. She ran her hand lightly over the empty side of the bed next to her until she spied a torn sheet of lined yellow legal-pad paper on the pillow. She bit down on her bottom lip as her mouth widened into the biggest, silliest grin. As she reached for the paper she saw it contained only one marking–a large heart drawn in red marker. She sat up, drawing her knees into her naked body as she held the paper and surveyed the room and the messy bed. The comforter was half on the floor and the sheets wrinkled and twisted. The heat rose to her cheeks and her smile grew even wider as she realized she hadn't had a dream but that Edward had really been here. _Had_ been here, that is. Her face fell as she wondered where he was…and why he'd left.

Before her thoughts and fears could get out of hand she heard the front door and then footsteps approaching the bedroom. Her breath caught in her throat as Edward walked in the doorway, one hand behind his back and the other balancing a drink carrier with two drink cups and a brown paper bag perched precariously between the two cups.

As Edward walked in the room he felt his whole body involuntarily stop moving in mid-stride. She was awake and sitting amidst the rumpled sheets, her eyes sleepy and wide, her hair messy and tangled, her lips red and full. She was the most beautiful, mesmerizing creature and last night she was his. He couldn't take his eyes off of her. And then she smiled at him with a light and a happiness that radiated across her entire face. He swallowed hard as his heart skipped a beat and his lips stretched into the widest grin he was sure he'd ever had. He walked over to her and leaned down, bringing forward the hand that was hiding behind his back and handed her a single delicate red rose. Her mouth parted in surprise and before she could say anything his lips were claiming hers, a slow, sensual pull on first her bottom lip and then a more lingering caress of both lips.

She opened her eyes languorously as he pulled away, a blissful smile on her face. He came around to the other side of the bed, climbing in very carefully, then sitting down next to her. He handed her one of the cups that had "TEA" scrawled on it, and then set the other cup on the nightstand next to his side of the bed. He opened the brown bag and pulled out the biggest, gooiest cinnamon roll she'd ever seen, and proceeded to break a piece of it off and feed it to her. Then he tore another piece off and popped it in his mouth. They sat peacefully and quietly this way, sharing the cinnamon roll bite by bite. As they started to get down to the last few bites, Bella began twirling her tongue around his sticky fingertips…licking and sucking more of the sugary gooeyness from them each time. Her eyes never left his, as she reveled in watching his reaction. His eyes widened in surprise the first time and then grew darker with desire with every successive bite. When the last piece was finally gone she climbed over him and straddled his hips. She leaned down and darted her tongue out to lick his sticky lips. His eyes fell shut and he leaned his head back against the headboard. She pressed her sticky lips to his and slowly forced them apart and let her tongue tangle with his, tasting the sweet sugary goodness on his tongue. He grabbed her hair and pulled her tighter to him as their kisses grew more demanding. She felt the heat erupt through her body as they were soon tangled in the sheets again and she was moaning his name.

~O~X~O~X~O~X~O~X~

This time when she awoke the room was much darker…and this time he was still here, lying next to her in her bed. She didn't know what time it was. The sun had gone down but the dark of night had not yet settled in either…it was twilight. That time of transition between night and day. _Appropriate_, she thought to herself as she stared at Edward. He was still sleeping soundly, his face peaceful and calm. She didn't know what time he needed to be at work at the diner but she didn't want to wake him up just yet. She wanted a few more minutes to be quiet and alone and to watch him sleep.

She had slept better last night and this morning in his arms than she had in months. She felt refreshed and clearheaded. Which was a good thing…but which was also bringing a lot of thoughts to her mind as she stared at the man next to her. Last night and this morning had been incredible. She and Edward had been getting to know each other for weeks. Alongside of their friendship she had slowly been developing a strong attraction to him…and then to discover last night that he felt the same for her made her feel like a giddy schoolgirl again. But they had been isolated in their little bubble of the diner for all those weeks, and now–since last night–in her apartment. She felt like the last sixteen hours were their time of twilight…their transition between what they were before in their little bubble and what they would be now, together in the world. This was another reason she didn't want to wake him yet…she didn't want this to end. She had absolutely no doubt in her feelings for him–she would be his in whatever way he wanted her. And although she longed to hear his voice, to hear him say, "I love you," to hear him cry out her name as he made love to her…she honestly didn't care that he couldn't speak. They had found their way around that hurdle for the most part. But she also knew being with him wouldn't be an easy road either. There were going to be a lot of adjustments and obstacles to overcome for she and Edward.

She also felt in transition herself. For so long she had been immersed in the dark "night," mourning Jacob. Losing him had ripped her world apart. Meeting Edward had healed her; he brought so much "light" into her world. And even though it hadn't been a complete one hundred and eighty-degree overnight change…she had hope again, she had something to live for, something she hadn't known that she would ever find again. She was happy…but she also knew that letting Edward into her life was going to change her world–as she knew it–in a big way.

Edward started stirring, burrowing his head into the pillow before opening his eyes. Her head was mere inches from his and his sleepy green eyes were staring straight into hers. He smiled the gentlest smile she'd ever seen and every thought she had just been thinking and worrying about flew out the window. She just wanted to lay here forever staring at this beautiful man who was smiling for her.

"Hi" she said softly. He reached his hand up and lightly traced his finger along her cheek and jaw line. She closed her eyes in bliss and sighed, leaning into his touch.

She opened her eyes to find him still watching her. "I would love to keep you here in my bed forever, but I know it's getting late and you probably have to get to work don't you?"

Suddenly she sat straight up. _Work…shit! _

He leaned up on his elbow, his face immediately contorting with concern at whatever had caused her to jump up.

"Your job… the diner! You never went back last night! Emmett must be furious!" She knew she could probably sweet talk Em into forgiving what had happened, but if Edward lost his job because of her she would feel awful.

Edward's face relaxed and he shook his head at her and held up his fingers in the "okay" symbol.

"Okay? What do you mean it's 'okay?' "

He started scrambling around like he was looking for something and Bella reached over and grabbed a small notepad and pen out of the nightstand drawer to hand to him.

_I saw Emmett at the diner this morning when I went to get you breakfast. Everything's fine._

Bella let out a big sigh of relief. God Bless Emmett, he was such a sweetheart. Anyone else would have already hired Edward's replacement.

Edward did have to get to work soon though and had to run home and shower and change first. He reluctantly threw his clothes on and then leaned on one knee down on her bed, took her face in both of his hands and kissed her tenderly one last time before leaving.

~O~X~O~X~O~X~O~X~

After he left Bella tried staying in bed, but now the bed just felt too empty and too cold. So she got up. She showered. She made the bed. She got something to eat. She tried watching TV, but just ended up flipping aimlessly through the channels. It was late and she couldn't sleep but unlike the endless nights of nightmares, this time it was because she had slept most of the day away. She felt restless. Her previous nights were either spent at the diner or–on the nights she didn't go–sleeping because she was so exhausted that she slept whether she wanted to or not. Tonight she didn't know what to do with herself.

Finally she gave up, grabbed a book and started pulling on her coat.

~O~X~O~X~O~X~O~X~

Edward hurried to the diner, grinning like a fool, unable to disguise the happiness plastered all over his face. He kept reviewing the night before over and over in his mind. For so long he had watched Bella from afar at the diner. Then all the weeks of chatting with her, getting to know her. He never could have dreamed that she actually…that she would really want to be with him._ Him_. The kiss she had given him at the diner came so far out of left field that it had truly shocked him. When he went to find her at her apartment he only wanted to let her know that he felt the same way she did, he wasn't planning for things to go as far as they had. But the feel of her in his arms, her warm body pressed to his–every kiss, every touch between them felt like heaven. He couldn't stop; he willingly drowned in her essence. He had long ago accepted the fact that he would probably always be alone–he never thought he would connect with anyone the way he did with Bella. She felt like this missing puzzle piece in his life. The pull between them was so strong, they didn't need words to communicate. It was like they each just…knew.

She was special. She was amazing. But she was also broken. He noticed the difference in her eyes, in her face last night and this morning. It was like this overnight transformation. She was radiant and alive, like he had never seen her before. He never wanted her to go back to the Bella she was before–the dark circles under her eyes and the sad, vacant look that she carried around. He never wanted her hurt ever again. If she were his, he would do all he could to always protect her, to always take care of her. _If_ she were his, that is…things had happened pretty fast between them and he didn't want to presume anything too quickly. What if the broken parts of her weren't healed yet? What if she regretted last night after she had some time to think about everything_? No…he couldn't believe that…she was so happy this morning_. Still, he thought they needed to talk the next time they saw each other. He didn't want to rush her into anything. He wanted to make sure she was ready for whatever lie ahead for the both of them. _Yes that was a good plan…they should talk. IF they could keep their hands off of each other long enough_…and then just like that the goofy grin was back on his face again.

That grin was the first thing Emmett saw when Edward walked in the door. _Aw man_, he thought…_he's got it bad_.

"Nice of you to grace us with your presence Edward! You planning on staying the whole shift tonight?"

The smile was immediately gone and Edward's expression turned sheepish and nervous.

Emmett walked over and slapped him hard on the back. He let out a booming laugh. "Don't get nervous, Eddie I'm just playing with ya!' You know I already told you this morning it was cool…but only this once!" He turned and looked Edward straight in the eye. "And only because it was Bella. I always thought you two would be good for each other. She needs someone to look after her. And she's certainly long overdue for some happiness." Then he leaned closer and got right up into Edward's face. "So if I _ever_ hear that you hurt her in any way…you're gonna have to answer to me, you got it?"

Edward nodded but didn't flinch once and he didn't break Emmett's stare. _Good boy_, Emmett thought to himself. He wasn't really surprised at Edward's non-reaction to his threat. He knew Edward was a good, honest guy and that he loved Bella. He knew she was in good hands, he just couldn't resist trying to put a little of the fear of God in Edward, just for good measure. He backed away and smiled, slapping Edward on the back one more time. "Now get to work…and don't be all moony all night long–wipe that silly grin off your mug and get your head on straight!"

~O~X~O~X~O~X~O~X~

Edward was carrying a plate of food to a table of customers when Bella walked in the door of the diner. His eyes lit up in surprise and delight when he saw her. He hadn't been expecting to see her tonight. She gave him a wave and headed over to her booth. It wasn't long before she heard that familiar booming voice above her.

"Bella…Bel-la, Bel-la, Bel-la." Emmett slid into the seat across from her shaking his head at her. His eyebrows were furrowed and he had a stern tone to his voice. "What did you think you were doing, kidnapping my best employee last night?"

He caught Bella off guard with that statement. She opened her mouth as if to say something then closed her lips and instead felt the heat rush to her cheeks in embarrassment.

Emmett threw back his head and roared in laughter. He reached across the table and pinched her flushed cheeks. "Look at that guilty face, woman. Ha ha, I love it!" He placed his hands back on the table and looked directly at her, his tone growing more serious. "I especially love that light in your eyes. Your soul has been empty for too long, darlin.' And I love the extra spring in that one's step." He nodded his head in the direction of Edward across the room. "He was practically dancing around this place when he came in tonight."

She couldn't stop the silly smile that broke across her face. Emmett took her hands in his.

"I'm happy for you both. Geez, it certainly took you two long enough! I thought I was going to have to step in and play cupid myself!" His words made her giggle. He patted her hands and started to get up from the table. She grabbed his hand before he got too far, making him look down at her.

"Thank you Em, for letting him come back. I know we left you in the lurch last night."

"Ah forget about it…" Then he shook his finger at her and gave her the same warning he had given Edward. "Just don't let it happen again!" He winked at her and patted her shoulder as he walked away.

A short while later Edward finally had a break and he came over to sit down with her. He looked a little worried as he grabbed the legal pad from her.

_Everything okay? Did you have the dreams again?_

"No…No, I just couldn't sleep. _Someone_ kept me up all last night and then let me sleep the day away." She smirked at him.

His eyebrows rose up and he smiled smugly. She laughed. "And you look very proud of yourself for that."

That got another eyebrow waggle of satisfaction. He reached over and caressed her face softly. Then he started scribbling again. He looked a little apprehensive when he handed the tablet back to her

_Seriously though…are you really okay? Are you okay with this, with us? Together? I know it's been kind of a whirlwind since last night. I'd understand if you needed to take a step back, take some time…_

His words almost brought tears to her eyes. She couldn't believe this man…such concern he had only for her thoughts and feelings. And she knew that whatever she said he would abide by…if she were to say she couldn't deal with this, she knew he would completely squash his own feelings and walk away if that's what she needed.

She finally spoke. "This _is_ all kind of…quick, I know. I have been dead for so long Edward. You have brought light into my life again, shown me back to the land of the living. I know we will have to find our way, together. _This,"_she waved her hand gesturing between both of them, "is new for both of us. But I don't want to step back. I'm ready to leap forward with everything I've got…and I want to leap forward with you."

Now his eyes were glassy as he stared at her with such an intense look of relief and love. He tilted the legal pad up while he wrote so that she couldn't see what he was writing. He even wrote something on the next page then finally turned the pad so she could see. He had drawn a simple illustration of two stick figures, one with long hair like hers and one with short hair sticking up all over like his, holding hands and jumping off of a cliff. As she laughed out loud at his literal interpretation of her words, he flipped the page over to display what he'd written on the sheet underneath.

_I love you._

Her tears finally spilled over. "I love you too, Edward."

~O~X~O~X~O~X~O~X~

Tonight, Edward did not have to sneak around and follow her home. Tonight she stayed until his shift was finished and then they walked back to her apartment together…side-by-side, hand-in-hand. And this time there was no hiding behind a tree to make sure she got inside okay. He walked with her right up to her apartment door and let himself be pulled inside by the beautiful woman who was finally his.

* * *

**A/N: Okay so here is chapter 2, finally! This is my first attempt at continuing one of my one-shots...I love feedback so please review and let me know your thoughts! I have more planned, but this will still be a short story, probably only 3 more chapters after this one.**


	3. Chapter 3

_**A/N: Sorry it has taken so long to get this chapter up, I really thought I would have it up earlier this week but I just had too many other things going on. I contributed a story to mskathy's Haiti relief TwiFic Compilation, if you've donated to that. I think by the time this chapter posts it may be past the deadline (Jan. 24) to donate but here's the link if you want to check it out. Big big kudos to mskathy for taking this on and to all the authors who donated stories and to those who donated money toward the cause.**_

_**http://mskathyff**__** (dot) blogspot (dot) com/2010/01/haiti (dot) html**_

**_All copyright and trademarked items mentioned herein belong to their respective owners. (SM) The remaining content is all mine. No copying or reproduction of this work is permitted without my express written authorization._**

_**

* * *

**_

Bella looked up from her textbook as Edward sat down in the booth across form her. He had an excited gleam in his eye as he flashed her a big smile, looking like the cat that ate the canary.

_What are you doing tomorrow night?_ He wrote on the legal pad.

She just looked at him blankly. "Ummm…hanging out here, as usual?"

_Nope. It's my night off. So…you don't have a class?_

"No, it's Friday…" she grinned coyly at him and rubbed her foot against his leg under the table. "Does that mean we have an entire evening to ourselves?"

_Yes and no. _

He moved his leg away from her foot under he table and her mouth turned down into a pout.

"What do you mean 'Yes and no?' "

_Yes we have the entire evening or ourselves but no we are not going to hole up by ourselves at one of our apartments. We're going to go on a date!_

He was positively beaming as she read his words.

"A date?"

He rolled his eyes.

_Yes a date…you know where two people who really like each other actually go somewhere together and partake of an activity…together. I believe it is a fairly common ritual. _

She cocked her head and gave him a weary look. "Yes, I know what a date is Edward!"

He did have a point though. They had only been "together" a few weeks but they really hadn't ventured forth yet out of their little "bubble" of the diner and either of their apartments. Classes had started up again for both of them, plus he worked most every night at the diner. When they had time to spend together they usually just hung out at their apartments…mostly in their bedrooms.

"All right, a date it is!" She smiled. "And what will we be doing on this date?"

_Just be ready at 7. I'll pick you up at your place._

He winked at her and leaned over to give her a quick kiss as he got up from the table to go back to work.

_**~O~X~O~X~O~X~O~X~**_

After her last class at UW, Bella rushed home to shower and get ready for her date with Edward. She had more and more trouble concentrating in her classes as the afternoon wore on and her stomach was feeling a little queasy. She finally realized she had butterflies over the thought of this date, which left her a little mystified. Normally she always felt so comfortable spending time with Edward, in fact she felt _more_ relaxed and calm when she was with him than when she wasn't. So could she actually be _nervous_ about tonight? It didn't make sense.

By the time she got home, she was running a little later than she planned so she just pushed all such thoughts out of her head and concentrated on getting ready.

Promptly at seven there was a knock on her door. Bella was still buttoning her blouse as she hurried to open the door.

Edward's eyes widened when he saw her. She was casual, in a pair of dark, slim jeans and a sheer blue low-cut blouse…half-unbuttoned and very distracting. He grinned wickedly and immediately shut the door as he stepped inside. He pulled her hands from her blouse and actually unbuttoned what she had just buttoned. Then he slipped his hands underneath the hem of the silky material and slid them up to her naked stomach, pulling her to him. While stroking the sides of her abdomen he bent down and bestowed several kisses on the swell of her breasts that were peeking out above her bra.

Bella's body reacted as it always did when Edward touched her, and she moaned involuntarily. She reached out to grip his arms and enjoyed the sensation of his kisses. But finally she gently pushed him away. He frowned at the loss of contact.

"Hold on there, Mister We're-Going-On-a-Date…if you keep that up, we'll end up staying in again. Which is fine with me…?" she gave him a questioning look.

He shrugged his shoulders with a sheepish smile on his face. Then reached over and buttoned the rest of her blouse up. She kept a small white, dry erase board next to the door, and he turned to it.

_Sorry…you are so beautiful I lose all thought and my hands and lips just react on their own natural instinct._

He waggled those sexy eyebrows at her and she laughed, heat rising to her cheeks. She rolled her eyes and leaned up to kiss him quickly on the lips.

"Come on Romeo, let's get out of here." She grabbed her purse and reached for his hand as they headed out her door.

"You look pretty handsome yourself," she told him. And he did…he also wore dark jeans and a crisp, dark green button-down shirt that made the green of his eyes that much more vibrant. He had made some attempt to tame his unruly hair but it still had that "just perfect" messiness to it. She could hardly believe she was actually going out with someone who was so beautiful...both inside and out.

After they were settled into his car, she asked about their plans.

"So, where are we off to?"

He hesitated briefly and her eyes grew wide.

"Oh! Wait…" she started digging frantically through her purse but soon grew distraught when she realized she hadn't brought anything to write on.

He reached over and touched her arm, stilling her movements and causing her to look at him. He held up one finger with his other hand. He leaned over slightly and pulled a small notepad and pen from his back pocket. She let out a breath she didn't realize she had been holding.

He wrote._ Dinner at an Italian restaurant and then a movie. _

"Perfect." She said, but her smile did not stretch very far across her face. Luckily Edward didn't seem to notice as he flashed her a big grin and then started up the car.

She felt horrible that she didn't have anything for him to write on, that she hadn't even checked her purse before she left. She felt like she had failed him. She should _know_ better–she always made sure she had notepads of paper to take to the diner every night, and there was always something lying around her apartment to write on. She suddenly realized why she'd had butterflies all afternoon…she _was_ nervous about going out with Edward, it was just not for the reasons she originally assumed. She apparently was nervous about how this night was going to go, about how they would interact in the real world. They had never been out anywhere public besides the diner, which didn't really count since it was more like a second home to both of them.

And unfortunately her fears were correct, as the night seemed to continually go from bad to worse.

They had to park a few blocks away from the restaurant and while they were walking to the restaurant, someone blew past Edward in a hurry and bumped his hand while he was writing something to her. The tiny notepad flew out of his hand right into a deep, muddy puddle of water in the street. Bella raced to lean over and pick it up, but Edward stopped her, shaking his head. It had soaked up the water so swiftly there really wasn't anything to save.

Bella looked over at Edward nervously and saw his face contorted in a frown, eyebrows knitted together in frustration.

She quickly tried to reassure him. "Don't worry about it, we'll stop somewhere and pick another pad up…"

He shook his head sadly and pointed at his watch. Apparently there wasn't time.

They continued on to the restaurant.

_At least there will be some napkins_, Bella thought to herself. They had improvised before at the diner on napkins.

Except that the restaurant turned out to be just formal enough that they used cloth napkins, not paper ones.

They both sat quietly and looked over their menus. Bella had never been here before but everything on the menu looked delicious. She noticed Edward had only briefly looked at his menu then sat it aside. He was sipping his water and glancing around the restaurant, but still looked pensive.

"Well you didn't spend much time on your menu, you've obviously been here before… So what's good here?"

A light came back to his eyes again and he smiled broadly at her. He opened up his menu and eagerly started pointing to things and giving his opinions through exaggerated gestures. He gave passing grades to just about everything, in varying degrees: some dishes got an "okay" symbol; some got what she called the Italian "okay" gesture with a little air kiss added to his fingertips; some dishes got an eye roll heavenward and a vigorous patting of his stomach. He definitely was answering her question but he also had her laughing at his antics. Which made him grin as well, just happy to see her happy.

He also indicated what he planned to order. So when the waitress came to take their orders, without a second thought Bella went ahead and ordered for both of them. When she recited what Edward wanted she thought the waitress gave her a strange look but the woman didn't say anything, just kept writing down their order. When Bella was done, the waitress turned toward Edward and addressed him.

"So Edward what kind of wine would you like with your meals tonight?" He pointed at a selection on the menu.

"Oh excellent choice. And extra parmesan on your pasta and an order of bruschetta to start with, as usual?"

Edward nodded and Bella began to realize why the waitress had looked at her strange. Edward had obviously been here enough that they knew him here–the waitress even knew what he usually ordered. As the waitress left, Bella saw such a sullen look on Edward's face. He stared at her for a minute and then started fiddling in his coat pockets, and then flipping through his wallet, finally finding an old receipt. He dug out the pen he had been using earlier and scribbled on the back of the receipt and then handed it to her.

_I don't need you to order for me._

Bella's eyes grew big and she opened her mouth to speak but then closed it again. The pain in his eyes made her heart sink, and she swallowed hard around the lump forming in her throat. She was crushed that she had hurt him.

She reached across the table and grasped his hand. "Edward…I'm so sorry. I…I honestly didn't mean anything by it. I wasn't trying at all to imply that you couldn't. I…I don't know why I did it. When she asked about our orders…it was just, I don't know…it just came out before I thought twice about it." _Please believe me Edward _she pleaded in her head,_ please believe me._

He was still looking at her with a blank expression. Finally he slowly squeezed her hand back.

She let out a breath. "I promise Edward, I will try not to make that mistake again." Her lips turned upward in the gentlest of smiles. "I love you."

As he gazed at her he knew he couldn't be mad at her. Every time he heard those three words from her lips, in that soft, gentle voice of hers–a warmth spread all over his body. She loved him…she did, he knew that. And the minute he saw her face fall when she read what he'd written he knew she didn't mean to slight him. And he knew he was probably being oversensitive, but he had dealt with similar reactions from people all of his life. His immediate defensiveness was as much an automatic reaction for him as hers was to order for him. It's just that everything between them had been so perfect and effortless until tonight… this was the first time she had treated him as anything but "normal." He just couldn't help feeling a little disappointed. In her…but more so in himself. The truth was he wasn't "normal" and their relationship would never be the same as a relationship between two normal speaking people and he was insane for thinking that it could be, for thinking they could go out in public like everyone else.

Looking at her anguished face he felt horrible for his feelings and for what he wrote.

He forced a smile back at her and then turned her hand palm up and wrote on it.

_I know. _And he drew a heart next to it.

Bella drew her hand back to see what he wrote. Her own heart felt a little more whole again. She didn't deserve this man and the forgiveness in him.

Their food arrived and they spent the rest of the meal in silence, smiling at each other occasionally and Edward trying to communicate with gestures, and she trying to decipher them.

After their meal they walked down the street to a movie theater. Bella remained silent this time, allowing Edward to buy their tickets. Having just eaten, they bypassed the concession stand, but Bella did pick up a stack of napkins for Edward to write on. He remained silent, however, even while they were waiting for the movie to start, only responding when she would say something to him.

And he again was just as quiet on the way back to the car. When they finally pulled up to her apartment, he got out and held her door open and walked her to the building's front door. As she started to step inside, she realized he wasn't following her. She turned around with a surprised look on her face.

"Aren't you coming up with me?"

He just pointed toward his watch.

"Too late?"

He nodded.

"Oh," she said dejectedly. "Okay."

He gave her a soft kiss on her cheek, and started to head down the steps to leave.

"Edward…" He turned back to look at her.

"Are you still mad at me?"

He bounded back up the stairs more forcefully and grasped her face in both of his hands and bent forward and claimed her lips with his, caressing, pulling…urgently trying to prove to her that he wasn't mad at her.

When he finally broke away he gave her one more smile and then ever so gently kissed each of her eyelids, so softly she barely felt it. That had become his way of telling her good night and sweet dreams. She sighed with some relief.

"Good night to you too Edward."

_**~O~X~O~X~O~X~O~X~**_

Edward got back in the car and slumped forward in defeat. He did not want to go home. He should have gone inside with her but he was still feeling distressed and didn't want her to see him like that. So instead he sat and stared up at her window. _Are you still mad at me? _she'd asked. That just broke his heart even more–that she thought he was mad at her. Yeah he'd been a little hurt at the restaurant but he had gotten past that. No now his anger and disappointment was all targeted at himself. It was all his fault that everything was so difficult. He grimaced to himself bitterly. He couldn't even manage something as simple as taking his girl out on a date without causing anxiety and tension. He couldn't even fucking communicate with her properly. He was used to having to exist in the speaking world and he always carried one of those little notepads in his pocket. Today was the first time something like that had ever happened to him. Then again, he was never so fully dependent on them as he was when he was with her. Normally he only used the notepads for brief exchanges, like ordering food or interacting with a sales clerk. Dropping the notepad had to be some message from the universe–_You're not normal, how dare you think you can have a relationship with a normal speaking girl?_ He was sure it would only be a matter of time before she grew tired of dealing with him…and a stab of pain ripped through his chest at that thought.

As if on cue with his thoughts, Bella's light finally went out. He could see her so clearly in his mind. She always slept curled up on her left side, one hand under her pillow and the other hand outside the blankets…usually clutching his arm as he wrapped himself around her back. He swallowed hard as the pain in his chest grew more severe. He slammed the key in the ignition and sped off.

_**~O~X~O~X~O~X~O~X~**_

Bella tossed and turned all night. She missed Edward's scent, his warm body curled around her, even his breathing. He was like her own personal cocoon that wrapped her up and kept her warm and safe and she never slept as well when he wasn't there. Which was rare–since that first night, they'd barely slept apart a single night. So it was very unusual that tonight Edward hadn't wanted to stay. In the moments she was awake and trying to get back to sleep she would keep reviewing their night, trying to figure out what was wrong. She knew he was disappointed in her about what happened at the restaurant…hell, she was disappointed in herself. She was horrified and ashamed that she had disregarded him that way. His kiss seemed to show that he wasn't mad at her…but he still seemed so sad. So what if the night hadn't been the best? It was just one night. Bella's eyes flew open, as an idea came to her. She needed to prove herself to him, and she needed to erase the disastrous night from his mind…and she knew just how to do it.

The next night Bella went to the diner. Edward was working but didn't give her much more than a nod when she walked in. She took her usual booth and opened her books to work on her class work. He would be over eventually; she would wait as long as she had to.

Edward let out an exasperated breath when he saw Bella walk in. Normally he was ecstatic to see her here every night. Still brooding about last night, however, all he could think about was how much time she wasted in this diner just to see him. It was Saturday night–she should be out on the town, having a good time with a normal guy…a boyfriend she could talk to.

Just then she looked over at him and smiled, and he swore his whole body temperature went up about ten degrees. He was in such a war with his heart and head right now. His head said he should not hold her back from having a normal life with someone else. But his heart – his heart just could not let go…not yet.

He held off for as long as he could–he cleaned the counters, refilled the sugar dispensers and the salt and pepper shakers, fiddled with stuff behind the counter. When he finally had nothing left to keep him busy he headed over to her booth.

As Edward slid in across from her, Bella beamed at him, and set aside her books.

"About time!" she teased.

He shrugged his shoulders. She pushed the pad across to him to try and get him to chat. He finally picked up the pen and wrote quickly.

_Busy tonight._

She swiveled around and reviewed the entire diner and its one other customer besides her. She turned back and raised an eyebrow at him.

"Uhm hm, yes I can see that."

No response.

"I missed you last night," she said softly.

That brought a glimmer of something in his eyes and a twitch of his lips. He stared at her for the longest time then finally wrote again.

_Me too._

"So…are you busy tomorrow?"

He shrugged his shoulders and shook his head no.

"Good! The weather is supposed to be sunny and beautiful, I thought we could spend the day along the waterfront. Maybe go to the aquarium, hit up Pike's Place to grab something to eat and then have a picnic at the park."

Edward immediately tensed up and he leaned back away from the table and started shaking his head no. Clearly he seemed uncomfortable with her proposal. But she was not going to let him shy away from this.

"I thought you said you weren't busy?"

Edward didn't have an answer for her and he just stared down at the table, moving his finger absently back and forth over a deep groove in the table. He looked so depressed, Bella's heart ached.

She grasped his hand, stilling its movements.

"Edward, look at me," she said sternly.

He grudgingly lifted his head, his eyes dull as they looked into hers.

"I know we both were disappointed in everything that happened last night. But that's all it was…one night. So some things went wrong–we're going to have some missteps, Edward. But we can't let them get the best of us. We can't give up after one date."

She could see a flicker of change in his expression, and could tell the wheels were spinning in his head, and she knew she had him.

"Please, Edward? Come with me tomorrow?"

Edward immediately felt ashamed. He didn't deserve this beautiful woman. She had seen right through him. He _was_ ready to give up. And although he still wasn't completely sure that she wouldn't be better with someone else, _she_ wasn't giving up, _she_ wanted to try again. And he couldn't say no to that.

A smile slowly spread across his face, and he wrote two letters down.

_O.K._

_**~O~X~O~X~O~X~O~X~**_

The next day Edward picked Bella up and they headed to the Aquarium. She was right, the weather was perfect–the sky was a bright blue with fluffy white clouds, the sun was shining. It had to be a great day.

They walked around the Aquarium marveling at the beautiful and amazing sea life. Bella made sure to bring a small notebook. Brand new. Plenty of pages.

They both had so much to comment on at the Aquarium. Edward constantly had her in stitches, laughing so hard as he made all kinds of goofy facial expressions and gestures, trying to imitate some of the funny and odd sea creatures.

As they left the Aquarium and walked the short distance to Pike's Place, Edward had a huge smile on his face and Bella was on cloud nine for how well the day was going.

They strolled through the market stopping occasionally to peruse the offerings from different vendors and to feed each other samples. Edward couldn't keep away from Bella, holding her hand or draping his arm around her waist. He looked around at all of the other couples, spending a casual Sunday out just like they were, strolling the market and also holding hands. Normal, speaking couples, no different than he and Bella. His heart felt like it would burst, he was so happy. While Bella was engrossed in examining some fresh fruit at one stall he sneaked over to an adjacent vendor to make a purchase.

Bella stepped away with her purchase and looked around.

"Edward?" Suddenly she felt an arm sneak around her body, and she found herself nose deep in a beautiful mixed bouquet of flowers. She tipped her head back and laughed, grasping the flowers and turning around to find a smiling Edward. He bowed at the waist and gestured with his palm out as if to say, _For you._ She tucked the flowers delicately in her arms and reached up to grasp his face between both of her hands and kissed him, deeply and passionately.

"Thank you," she whispered.

They continued on, eventually picking up some sandwiches from a deli at the market and heading over to the park. Edward spread the blanket out that she had brought along, and they settled down with their food and their purchases. Edward made a writing motion to her and she started fumbling through their stuff and then through her purse…but there was no notebook. As she was trying to figure out where it was, a cold shock ran through her. She had laid it down when she was trying to look through the fruit. And then Edward surprised her with the flowers…and she had forgotten to pick the notebook back up. _Crap, _she thought to herself. _Not again…_

She looked sorrowfully at Edward. "Edward, I can't find it…I think I laid it down while in the market and must have forgotten to pick it up again. I'm so sorry!"

Edward waved her off, giving her a quick kiss and making the "okay" sign to try and let her know it was no big deal. He was disappointed but he didn't want a repeat of the other night so he was determined not to let her see it on his face this time.

They sat quietly, eating their sandwiches and some of the fruit Bella had bought. After they finished they were reclining on the blanket, planning to soak up some of the warm sunshine. Bella missed Edward, however, even though he was sitting just inches from her. She felt cut off from him when he couldn't communicate with her. Reaching into her purse, she grabbed the pen. She tapped Edward on the shoulder and he looked over at her. She held out the pen and then held out her arm.

"Talk to me Edward."

He looked at her like she was out of her mind, but she just shook her arm at him again.

"Please…" And so he did. They sat there for more than an hour, talking back and forth. Edward wrote all up and down her arm, even doodling silly little illustrations that made her laugh.

It wasn't a perfect solution, but it worked.

Eventually the sun began to set and they packed up their stuff and headed back to Bella's apartment.

Edward had to work later so he couldn't stay but he did come in for a little while. Bella busied herself putting away some of her purchases from the market. Edward went into the bathroom and soon she heard the water running in the bathtub. She was just going to see why he was taking a bath when the bathroom door opened and Edward came out. He bowed and motioned with his arm for her to go inside. She gave him a suspicious look, as she followed his direction.

He was filling the tub with a bubble bath. He pointed at the bath, then back at her, indicating it was for her. Then he reached for hem of her T-shirt and slowly lifted it up her body, grazing her breasts as he did so. She hummed in response as she lifted her arms up to get the shirt off. After tossing it on the floor he slowly traced his fingertips down her stomach to the button of her jeans. He made quick work of unbuttoning and unzipping her jeans and pushing them down off of her body. He bent her leg up to slip her sock off of one foot, and then repeated the motion with the other foot. Next he slipped her underwear down and off her body, causing Bella to shiver under his touch. Finally he reached around and unclasped her bra and slipped it from her shoulders. She reached up and pulled his face down for a heated kiss, and pressed her body against his. He immediately broke away and shook his finger at her, then turned her around so he could pull a brush through her hair and then pile it up on her head so that it couldn't get wet. She watched him in the mirror as he put several pins in to hold her thick hair in place. She realized that he must have been watching her before when she put her hair up–he knew exactly how to twist her hair up and exactly where to place each pin. It was a simple act but such a tender display of his love for her that she had to hold back tears.

When he was finally done, she pouted at him in the mirror and then turned around and tugged at the collar of his shirt.

"_You_ are joining me aren't you?" She tilted her head down and looked at up at him through her lashes. He hesitated and she grabbed for the bottom of his shirt and started lifting it up his chest. "_Yes_ you are!" She answered herself and didn't give him an out to say no. He was grinning as he lifted his arms and she pulled the shirt off. He started to take his jeans off and she went ahead and shut the water off and stepped into the bath. He got in behind her and settled down into the water and she sat down in front of him, reclining back against his chest.

She closed her eyes and let out a loud contented sigh. The water felt wonderful and she loved the feel of his body against hers. Edward grabbed the soap and a washcloth and started gently washing her body, sluicing the soapy, bubbly water down her neck and across her shoulders…all over and down her back…moving on down her right arm.

He rubbed some more soap into the washcloth and then reached for her left arm, stretching it out across the edge of the tub. It was the one covered in his writing and doodles and he wanted to make sure he cleaned every bit of it off. He knew she thought it was cute and romantic…but to him it was just another reminder of their differences and he was ashamed that he had to do such a thing. He took care to apply the right amount of pressure–enough to get the ink off but not enough to rub her skin too harshly. It took some patience and a little time but gradually the lines grew fainter until they had disappeared.

He was glad when they were all gone.

She was sad when they were all gone. She liked having his handwriting and his thoughts on her body–like pieces of him tattooed on her skin.

He placed the washcloth in her hand, leaned his head down to leave little kisses on her shoulder and neck and then eased her forward as he gingerly got out of the tub. As he was drying himself off with a towel, she unabashedly watched him, the way his wet skin glistened, the way his muscles moved as he worked with the towel. He was so strong and graceful and…beautiful.

She sighed dejectedly. "I guess you have to go to work now?"

He gave her a rueful smile.

"Are we still meeting tomorrow afternoon at the park?"

When Bella and Edward first began talking at the diner they discovered that they both took classes at the University of Washington. While she was working toward an English degree, she discovered that he was a musician. He studied piano in the Music department. She had been begging him for weeks to play for her. He kept putting her off, and then last week he finally told her he was ready to play for her. They were meeting tomorrow at a park that was halfway between her last class and the music building.

He was pulling one arm through the sleeve of his shirt and once it was through he gave her a "thumbs up" with the other hand in answer to her question. He pulled his shirt the rest of the way down his torso then walked over and leaned down to give her a quick kiss on her forehead, before turning and heading out of the bathroom. He gave her one last wave and a smile and then he was gone, shutting the door behind him. She sunk back down into the water leaning her head back on the back of the tub, a blissfully happy smile on her face.

_**~O~X~O~X~O~X~O~X~**_

The next day Edward got to the park before Bella did and was sitting on a bench, waiting for her. It was another beautiful day, making him think of their date the day before at the aquarium and the park. He leaned his head back and rubbed his eyes. It had been an almost perfect day and Bella was right to make him go. He knew he was wrong to think about just abandoning what they had between them because of a little inconvenience. Still, he hated that verbal communication had to be such a problem between them. She was good at deciphering his gestures, but it frustrated him when he didn't know how to get through to her exactly what he wanted to say. There had to be an easier way.

His internal musings were being interrupted every three seconds by an electronic "bleep-bloop-bip" noise coming from someone nearby, and it was very annoying. As Edward lifted his head up and opened his eyes, intending to give the "bleep-bloop-bip's" owner a nasty stare, he saw a man on the next bench texting on a cell phone, apparently having a lengthy back-and-forth conversation with someone, due to the number of "bleeps."

_Back-and-forth conversation…_

Suddenly Edward's eyes lit up as an idea hit him…

_**~O~X~O~X~O~X~O~X~**_

Bella sat next to Edward on the piano bench, watching him in awe. She loved the piano but was not musical at all and always admired anyone who had such talent. He seemed nervous when they first sat down, as he was shifting on the seat, wringing his hands, running through some quick scales to warm up. Finally he gave her a tentative smile and began to play.

His played bits of several classical pieces she recognized, Clair de Lune, Fur Elise (her favorite) and a couple she had not heard before. His hands flew so fast and so confidently over the keys. She watched his expressions–he was so intense and so effervescent all at the same time, so lost in the music. When he played he was not damaged, he was not different, and it didn't matter that he couldn't speak…he spoke through his music.

When he finished she clapped enthusiastically.

"Edward…that was just amazing…you were so wonderful!"

He smiled sheepishly and kind of rolled his eyes, embarrassed by her words. Next he held up four fingers and then pointed at her. _For you._

He started to play Elton John's_ Your Song _and she almost cried. In one of the long ago conversations at the diner she had told him that was one of her all time favorites songs, and he clearly remembered.

When he was done he looked at her adoringly.

"Oh Edward…" She leaned over and gave him a gentle kiss on his cheek.

He smiled and held up one finger. He stared at the keys for a bit, wringing his hands again and glanced at her cautiously a couple of times. And then he began to play again.

She didn't recognize this piece. It started off slow and quiet, dark and sad and bittersweet…and then very gently, his fingers moved a little faster and the notes quickened, falling on top of each other. They were brighter in tone now, happier, building toward a crescendo that broke like the tide and then quieted again, ending with a last few spare notes.

When he finished Edward wrote something on some music paper that was sitting on top of the piano and then showed to her:

_I call that one Bella's song._

Bella already thought the song was absolutely beautiful and had tears in her eyes from it, but when she read what he wrote, her mouth dropped open in shock. She was speechless and it took her a few minutes to respond. Edward's face fell and she knew he was probably misunderstanding her reaction so she quickly grabbed his arm. Sure enough his eyebrows quirked upward in a questioning tone.

She swallowed and finally found her voice. "Edward, that…that was beautiful…and probably the most amazing thing anyone has ever done for me. I am speechless."

He grinned.

_Hey me too!_

As he showed her what he wrote, she laughed and laughed, sniffling through the tears streaming down her face.

Then he turned to her and grasped her face in his hands and wiped the tears away with slow strokes of the pads of his thumbs. He lowered his lips to hers for a light, loving kiss and then pressed his forehead against hers.

"Thank you, Edward…thank you," she whispered. There was so much meaning behind that thank you, more than he probably realized. It was not just a thank you for the song, but for all that he had brought into her life.

They sat like that for several minutes, and then finally Edward started to get up, holding out his hand to her as he did. She grasped it as she too got up and they walked out the door of the room.

He glanced down the hall and then stopped, pulling his hand from hers. He held up a finger to say, "wait a minute," and then he hurried down the hall to a man that was posting a flyer on the wall.

She heard the man greet Edward and then she watched as Edward started rapidly moving his hands and fingers in the air, with lightening speed. The man, his professor she guessed, responded verbally to Edward, as if answering a question. Edward moved his fingers again, and the man laughed and said something else Bella couldn't quite hear.

The realization suddenly smacked Bella in the face as she remembered another early conversation they had at the diner…Edward had told her he knew sign language. A wave of embarrassment rolled over Bella. How could she have been so stupid to have not thought of this before now? He would never bring it up himself because he knew she didn't know any signs, but…if she knew sign language too, it would make communicating between them so much easier on Edward. They wouldn't constantly be dependent on notepads and writing material. A big smile broke out on her face as a plan began to form in her mind.

_**~O~X~O~X~O~X~O~X~**_

Two nights later Bella was at the diner, reading and waiting to see Edward as usual when her cell phone started beeping that she had a text message. She fished it out of her book bag and frowned when she saw a message from a number she didn't recognize. Probably a wrong number.

_**Hey beautiful!**_

_Umm… yeah definitely a wrong number_ she thought to herself, and started to put her phone away without even responding. Her phone beeped again.

_**How is your tea this evening?**_

Now Bella started to feel a little freaked out…how did this person know she was drinking tea? She glanced nervously around the diner but didn't see anyone suspicious, just a few regular customers. She tentatively texted a message back.

_**Do I know you?**_

She got a reply back quickly:

_**No, I'm sorry, so rude of me. Please allow me to introduce myself. Hello, I am Edward's new iPhone. And may I say, he has excellent taste in girlfriends. **_

She burst out laughing and whipped her head around to see Edward leaning on the counter on his elbows with the small device in his hands, grinning at her. He raised his hand in a little wave before standing up and sauntering over to join her in her booth.

She just stared at him with an incredulous look on her face.

"Why did you get an iPhone?"

He raised his eyebrows and gestured his hands in a "duh" kind of expression. Then he typed on his phone for a while before sliding it across the table to her.

_A: Now we don't have to be reliant on paper and pen to communicate, and B: Now we can text message each other when we're not together. I'm just sorry I didn't think of it sooner._

Bella's heart twisted a little at the apologetic look on his face. He always faulted himself for so much in their relationship.

"Edward, thank you for this, I think it's a great idea. But don't feel bad that you didn't think of it before now. Frankly I didn't either and it is a pretty simple solution. Boy we're quite a pair aren't we?" She leaned over the table and gave him a kiss. Then she sat back down and grabbed his hand across the table.

"Now, I have a little surprise for you."

She let go of his hand and rifled through her book bag before pulling out a book and handing it to him.

His forehead wrinkled in confusion as he looked at the book and then at her.

_Why do you have an American Sign Language textbook? _

"UW offers a class in Sign Language and I signed up. I realized how unfair it was for you to not be able to communicate the way you are accustomed to, just because I don't know signing. The phone is great and will be a huge help, Edward, but if I learn signing, we will never have to be dependent on any external device to be our translator. We can finally talk to each other just you and me."

Edward slumped back against the booth. He couldn't even speak and he was still speechless. He couldn't believe she would do this for him. His eyes teared up as all of the emotions he was feeling poured out.

"Edward?" Bella reached over and gently touched his cheek, swiping away a tear. "Are you okay with this?"

_Was he okay with this? _hethought to himself. _Oh my beautiful Bella…_

He grasped her hand and kissed it, then leaned over the table and kissed Bella full on the mouth, pressing his lips to her forcefully, passionately, wanting to demonstrate his boundless love for her.

He broke away to type on his phone.

_You are the most amazing woman and I am the luckiest man in the world. I love you so much my darling Bella. Thank you for this wonderful gift. Thank you for doing this for me…for us._

They both just sat there beaming at each other. Edward couldn't believe just a few days ago that he was thinking they couldn't be together. He mentally chastised himself for not having faith…for not believing in Bella or in their ability to overcome their differences. He would never again question her love or her support. He was not worthy of this woman but he would spend every minute he could making it up to her.

* * *

_**A/N: Hopefully it's pretty easy to distinguish, but just in case: Even though Edward has an iPhone now, his "words" will continue to be in italic, whether written or typed on his phone. Actual text messages between Bella and Edward's phones will be bold italic. **_

_**So good news for y'all–all that I originally had plotted in my head for this chapter ended up not fitting, since the chapter was already so long...so that adds an extra chapter on to the length of the story! :)**_

_**Nighthawks now has a thread over on the Twilighted forums thanks to Unchanged Affections! Come join us and discuss! I will also try and post teasers there as well.**_

_**http://www (dot) twilighted (dot) net/forum/viewtopic (dot) php?f=44&t=8496**_

_**Elton John's "Your Song" is one of my absolute favorite songs, and it's a piano song so I felt Edward needed to play it for me. :)**_

_**What song would you have Edward play for you?**_


	4. Chapter 4

_**All copyright and trademarked items mentioned herein belong to their respective owners. The remaining content is all mine. No copying or reproduction of this work is permitted without my express written authorization.**_

_**A/N: As promised, I'm posting this today as part of the informal TwiFandom Reader Appreciation day. I have been amazed at the response by all of you who read and review and tell me how much you love this story–you all have my heartfelt thanks for taking a chance and going on this journey with me! Thank you!**_

_**Okay so this is not so much a chapter as it is one big ol' lemon. :) Enjoy!**_

_**

* * *

**_

Edward hurried to get his latest order to the correct customer. The diner was extraordinarily busy tonight for some reason. He didn't know why that surprised him though–his whole life seemed to be busy lately. Well, his and Bella's that is…her life was his life now. The problem was the diner seemed to be the only place they got to see each other.

They were having a hard time recently trying to find some free time to spend together; their last "date" was Valentine's Day and the poor thing had been sick. She'd lost a couple days off school to the bug, and he'd practically had to tie her to the bed to keep her home so she could rest.

She was particularly swamped right now with her regular degree classes and then the sign language class on top of it. He'd tried to suggest she drop the sign language class and try again next semester but she refused. Because she'd joined the class late–a couple weeks after it had started–she was doing more than just trying to learn, she was also trying to catch up. Unfortunately it looked like the opposite was going on–it looked like the classes were starting to catch up to her.

As he looked over to check up on her, he frowned and shook his head at her–her books open in front of her, she had fallen asleep with her head leaning on her right hand.

Edward slid quietly into the booth across from her. She was so tired, she didn't move at all,. He stared at her for a few minutes. She looked so peaceful; he wanted to reach over and touch her cheek, brush her hair out of the way…instead he got up and moved behind her. He placed his hands on her shoulders and gently started rubbing them, squeezing & kneading the muscles that were so tight. She jerked awake, twisting around to see who was touching her. When she saw it was Edward, she smiled and slumped forward, letting out a loud sigh. He continued rubbing and massaging until her muscles felt looser and she moaned in pleasure. When he finally stopped he pushed aside her long hair, leaving a gentle kiss on the back of her neck before sitting down in front of her again. He immediately took a sheet of her notepaper, and wrote:

_Baby you are doing too much, you are exhausting yourself. Go home and get some rest._

She gave him a tired smile. "I'm almost done, I promise. I've only got…" she flipped through the pages in her book. "…five more pages to finish reading for my lit class tomorrow."

He gave her a stern look. _Okay…but then you're going home!_

She rolled her eyes at him and gave him a smile, while saluting him. "Yes, SIR!"

He bent over and placed a kiss on her forehead as he got up from the booth to go back to work.

An hour later, however, he noticed that not only was she still here, but she had a different book in front of her and she seemed very exasperated and upset. She would close her eyes and move her fingers in the air. Then she'd open her eyes and look back down at her book and sigh loudly.

Her head was in her hands when he walked up this time.

_I thought you were almost done an hour ago. NOW what are you working on?_

He could tell obviously that she was working on her signing but he also knew she didn't have that class for a couple more days.

She grimaced. "I'm trying to catch up in my signing class. Since I started late, I have twice as much to catch up on. After every class I have a private quiz with the instructor on the signing lessons they've already learned, until I catch up to where the class was when I started."

Edward started to write but she moved her hand to stop him. "Don't you dare tell me again that I don't have to do this!" They had already discussed this a few times and she wasn't going to have the conversation again. Edward had been so happy and emotional when she told him she was going to learn sign language; and she knew he was still grateful, but after the class actually started and he realized how much time it was adding to her already busy schedule, he had been trying to talk her into dropping it. They'd had several disagreements about the subject.

He narrowed his eyes at her, wrinkling his brow as he snatched his hand and the piece of paper away and continued writing.

_Before I was so RUDELY interrupted, I was going to offer to help. You don't have to do this alone, I can study with you, quiz you, whatever you need. Especially since you're doing this for __me__, us. What signs are you studying right now?_ He crossed out the "me" because that was one of the points they had argued over before–whenever he tried to say she didn't have to do this for _him_, she would vehemently correct him that she was doing it for _both_ of them.

She sighed. "Anatomy," she said as she shoved the workbook over to him.

He glanced down and saw the list of signs…suddenly an idea came to him and he had to hide a grin from her.

He closed the book, grabbed her backpack and put the book away. She just stared at him blankly and started reaching for the book again. Instead he grabbed the bag and held it out of her reach.

_No! No more studying tonight! Go home, get some sleep! Professor Cullen's orders!_

She smiled and rolled her eyes at his words. " 'Professor Cullen?' "

_Tomorrow is my night off, so I will come by your place and we will have a study session. I promise you when we are done you will know the lesson so well you won't be able to forget it._

She quirked an eyebrow at his last sentence, unsure what he meant by that, but frankly she was so tired, she decided to take him up on his offer.

Her whole body slumped in fatigue and defeat. "Alright, that would be very helpful, I'm sure. Thank you baby."

They were both standing by this point so she leaned up and gave him a kiss. As he moved his hand around to her back, he resisted the urge to pull her to his body and ravage those beautiful pink lips of hers with a proper kiss. _Tomorrow_, he thought to himself.

_**~O~X~O~X~O~X~O~X~**_

_Textbook–check. Professor's handouts–check. Notes–check. Bowl of popcorn–check. Bottles of water–check._ Bella had everything spread out on her coffee table in the living room, ready for her study session with Edward. As she surveyed the table, she sighed. She was so driven to do this for Edward, to learn signing…she just wanted to make everything easier for him. She knew he constantly felt like the burden in their relationship but honestly she felt like she was. She felt like she was the one who needed to play catch-up, _she_ was the one who needed to make herself fit into _his_ life. So even though her class schedule was already full, she had added the sign language class without a second thought. But over the past couple of weeks since she signed up, she and Edward had several disagreements about the class. Not only was she stressed out over her course-load, but she was overworked as well, putting double the time into the sign language class that she was putting into her other classes. Edward didn't want her pushing herself so hard. He exasperatedly even tried to convince her to drop the class and wait until next semester. But she didn't want to wait, she wanted to do this _now_ and she wanted to get this right…for him.

Seeing that everything was set-up she sat back down and opened her book to start reviewing while waiting for Edward.

She was so absorbed with her book, she nearly jumped out of her skin when the loud knock came at the door. The intense look of relief on her face gave her stress level away to Edward. She looked almost desperate in her excitement to see him.

"Hey baby!"

She leaned up to kiss him and he had to lean awkwardly around the paper bag he was carrying, to meet her lips.

"What is in the bag? You didn't need to bring anything, I have everything set up," she waved her hand toward the living room.

He just raised his eyebrows and held up one finger to her as he continued on down the hall and into her bedroom, shutting the door behind him.

She just frowned and shook her head in confusion, turning to go back and sit on the couch with her book.

He was in her bedroom for almost fifteen minutes when he finally came out and poked his head around the corner, crooking his finger at her, motioning her to come join him.

She sighed but got up to follow him_. What the heck is he doing? _she grumbled to herself.

He stopped just outside of her bathroom where he reached in and pulled something from the vanity and held it out to her. It was her robe, neatly folded, with a note on top.

_1. Go into the bedroom, undress and put this robe on. Wait for further instruction._

Bella rubbed both hands over her eyes. "Edward! We are supposed to be studying, I don't have time for games tonight!"

Edward looked at her sternly and pointed further down on the paper. She glanced down again.

_2. Refusal to follow the Professor's orders will result in an automatic after-school suspension._

She just rolled her eyes and grabbed the robe from him and stalked into the bedroom, slamming the door behind her.

He smirked at her as he went into the bathroom. She really was stressed, he realized how much so from her reaction just now. He hoped she wouldn't be too angry and would be able to relax and enjoy what he had planned.

_**~O~X~O~X~O~X~O~X~**_

Bella sat on the bed, biting her lip, wrapped in only the robe. She was drumming her fingers on the bed and her leg was bouncing up and down impatiently. Internally she was fuming at him. He _promised _her he would help her. He _knew_ how important this was to her, she couldn't believe he was doing this…this…_whatever_ he was doing! She noticed there were several lit candles placed around the room. _Great!_ she thought…_in what dictionary does the definition for "study" mean "sexing your girlfriend up?"_

She was about to get up and go back out into the living room when he finally came out of the bathroom. He had tried to neatly comb down his messy hair and he had changed into tan slacks, a white button-down shirt with the sleeves rolled up to his elbows, a striped bow tie and a pair of black, thick-framed glasses. Her mouth gaped open and despite her anger at him just seconds before, she was now trying not to burst out laughing. She also couldn't deny the familiar little tremor she felt in her lower abdomen. He may have looked a little geeky but she couldn't deny he was definitely a _hot_ geek.

He placed a small chalkboard on top of her dresser and with his back to her, wrote something on it. When he turned around she saw what he had written: _I am Professor Cullen. Welcome to my class. _He pointed at the board and then at himself.

She finally couldn't hold back anymore, she let out a giggle. He gave her a frown and held a finger up to his lips. _Apparently Professor Cullen was a stickler for a quiet classroom,_ she thought to herself as she smirked.

He turned back, erased the chalkboard, then wrote again.

_I will sign a word, and you will tell me what I signed. If you are correct you will get a reward._

"A reward? Like a gold star?" she teased. He quirked one eyebrow at her but maintained his professional demeanor.

He motioned for her to lie back on the bed while he kneeled down by her feet. She watched him carefully, wondering what he had in mind. He waggled his eyebrows at her and with an impish grin began his "lesson." He pointed toward her feet and waggled his thumb. When she didn't respond he made the motion again before she comprehended that he was actually signing.

"Toe," she replied. He gave her a smile to let her know she was right and then he bent down and peppered light kisses on her toes, sucking gently on her big toe. She couldn't help herself; she burst into a fit of giggles as she realized this must be her "reward." Done with her toes, he leaned up and pointed downward at her foot.

"Foot."

He nodded, then slowly stroked his pointer finger up and down her foot, never breaking his lustful gaze into her eyes. Bella was starting to get goose bumps as her foot jerked involuntarily at his touch.

Moving on he held his wrist up, encircling it with his thumb and forefinger and then pointed again toward her foot.

"Ankle." She spoke quietly.

Bending forward he lapped his tongue around her ankle, pausing to suck on her ankle bone. Unable to keep quiet, Bella let out a moan of pleasure.

Placing his hand on her right leg his looked up at her expectantly through hooded eyelids.

She swallowed hard, "Leg."

He then nuzzled up her leg with his cheek, brushing against her skin with his stubble. Bella squirmed against the amazing sensation of rough against smooth.

He slowly bent her leg at the knee, pointing to it.

"Knee," she rasped.

He bowed his head and placed gentle kisses all around her knee, sucking lightly on the underside, eliciting another moan from his pupil.

Bella's thighs started quivering at this point, in anticipation of where the "Professor" was going next.

Edward touched both sides of her thigh with each of his index fingers.

She licked her lips and gulped. "Th-thigh," she stuttered.

With his tongue he slowly licked a path up her inner thigh, making her whimper loudly and shift her hips in anticipation. Every touch from him sent spikes of heat through her whole body straight to the building spasms between her thighs. Her body barely had time to calm down before he would turn his attention and his soft lips to another body part, making the delicious tremors start all over again.

To her disappointment though, he stopped at the top of her thigh, …He answered the pout on her face with a devilish grin. Sitting up on his knees, he pulled at the tie of her robe. As the fabric fell away from her body, Edward forgot his task for a moment and instead lost himself in marveling at her beautiful, perfect body. He would never, ever get tired of looking at her.

Bella was also losing interest in the "study session," and just wanted him to do something–_anything_–to ease her aching desire.

"Edward…" she breathed as she raised her hand toward him.

Misinterpreting her motion, he grasped her index finger with his thumb and index finger and waggled it up and down.

Bella groaned in frustration. "Finger," she uttered softly.

He then pulled her finger into his mouth licking and sucking up and down, while staring into her eyes. Bella bit her lip and then exhaled as he finally withdrew it from his mouth with excruciating slowness.

He next drew his whole hand across the top of hers.

"Hand."

He placed a chaste kiss on her hand and then grasped her wrist in his hand. She didn't comprehend at first that this was a sign until she realized he had paused all movement and was looking at her expectantly.

"Wrist?" she replied in a questioning tone.

He smiled and flipped her hand over and sucked on the inside of her wrist, grazing his teeth along the delicate flesh. Bella moaned and arched her body, unable to inhibit her actions anymore. Her body was completely under his control.

He pointed his finger next to her elbow then licked along the inside of her elbow after she responded correctly. Moving on he lightly dragged his finger the length of her entire arm, wrist to shoulder. As she whispered the word arm he nuzzled his face along the invisible path he had just made with his finger, inhaling her scent as he did so.

Edward continued his tutorial, teasing her with the signs for each body part and then rewarding her responses. He tapped her shoulder then peppered it with kisses. He touched her neck with all of his fingers. As she breathlessly whispered the word, he attacked her neck–kissing and sucking and marking her as she moaned and tilted her head back.

He moved on to her ear, touching it with his finger, then swirling his tongue around it and nibbling on her lobe.

He swept his right finger down her face from her right temple to her jaw, placing a kiss on her forehead. Then he traced the length of her nose and left a kiss on the tip.

Finally he reached her mouth. As he gazed at her, his eyes blazed with lust and passion. He traced her beautiful full lips slowly with his fingers. She formed the word "mouth" with her lips but her throat was so dry she had no voice. He leaned down to capture her lips with his and for her this was the final straw. She snapped, her body pressing to his, her hands reaching up and grabbing his hair, crushing him to her. Their mouths devoured each other, their wet tongues swirling and moving in a perfect, frenzied dance with the other's.

Edward pulled away to catch his breath and tried to calm his aching body. This had seemed like a good idea, creating a "sensual study session" to distract Bella and calm her nerves, but he was remiss in ignoring the affect her body and her scent and her touch had on him. She was like a drug that completely consumed him and stripped away all of his own control.

Bella took advantage of Edward's momentary pause to push him off of her. Startled he leaned down on his elbow to catch himself, which gave her the perfect leverage to fully push him to his back as she climbed over to straddle his body. He was already close to the edge but the feel of her naked body against his fully clothed one was amazing. At every point where her body touched his, the heat burned through the fabric.

Now that she was the one with the upper hand she grinned wickedly at him and reached for his glasses.

"These, while extremely sexy on you, Professor, need to go." She pulled them off and leaned over to set them down on the nightstand. "And this adorkable bow-tie…" she gave it a tug and as it unraveled she pulled it slowly from his collar and threw it across the room.

"Oh and I commend your attempt, but _this_…" she reached up and ran her hands through his silky soft hair, messing up what he had tried to tame. "There, that looks much better."

She smiled down at him and shifted herself back to concentrate on his shirt next.

"You know, this is _completely _unfair that you have so much clothing on, especially since I was only allowed a robe!"

Edward was panting, his eyelids heavy as all he could do was watch. She began unbuttoning his shirt one slow button at a time. She was positioned perfectly over his straining cock and the feel of her damp heat through the fabric of his slacks was almost more than he could take. He struggled to keep his hips still while she was enjoying her control.

When she finally got the last button undone she ripped the shirt from the waistband of his pants and he leaned up, twisting and contorting until his arms and body were finally free of the confining material. She tossed the shirt over the side of the bed. Leaning back over him, her naked body made contact with his and he groaned, arching into her, feeling her hard nipples pressing against his burning skin.

"Now…it's time to change the study session. You're going to sign back to me the body part I touch."

She had such a sexy, mischievous smile on her face. She dipped down and started licking and gently tugging one of his nipples with her teeth. The sensation of her wet, hot tongue nearly drove him insane and he grabbed the sheets with his fists, nearly ripping them. Suddenly the heat was replaced with a cold blast of air. Opening his eyes he saw her looking at him expectantly. She was serious about the signing and she was awaiting his response. Somehow he forced his shaking hands to form the sign for "nipple" and she moved on. She caressed and licked down his chest, once again pausing while he made the sign for "chest." Next was "naval" as she swirled her tongue in and out and around.

And then…finally he felt her hands unbuttoning his slacks and slowly pulling the zipper down. She tugged the pants down, both of them moving and shifting until she got them down his legs and off completely. As she moved back above him she quirked an eyebrow at his lack of underwear. All he could do was blush.

It felt so good to finally be free of the constricting pants that he let out a loud breath. But the feeling was short-lived, as, before he knew it, Bella began licking up his shaft, swirling her wet tongue around his tip. His head tilted back and his eyes rolled back. His mouth was open and sucking in big gulps of air. She began to take him in her mouth and the moist heat surrounding him was unbearable. He grasped her hair in his fist trying not to force her head as she sucked and licked and moaned around his hard shaft. He felt the tightening and the pressure start to build and he knew he wasn't going to be able to hold out much longer. He tugged upward on Bella's head and once she pulled her mouth away he pulled her whole body up and flipped her over onto her back. His body was so needy for her that he became possessed, lifting her knees up and diving his mouth and his tongue into her, nibbling on her clit, licking and sucking everywhere until she was writhing and moaning and screaming his name. Quickly he moved over her and pushed into her swiftly, his heart racing, his breathing heavy. She wrapped her legs around him and clutched his back with her arms. He didn't wait for her and she didn't need him to. He stroked in and out of her as fast as he could. They were both so close to the edge it didn't take long for them both to come together, quickly, urgently and violently.

They didn't move, trying to prolong their connection. But finally he pulled out and collapsed next to her against the headboard, his chest still heaving. The room is silent save for the sound of their breathing slowing and eventually returning to normal.

Bella turned to look at him, and as she opened her mouth to speak, he placed his finger over her mouth to stop her. He just wanted to stare at her, loving that _he_ was the one to cause that flush on her cheeks; that _he_ caused her red swollen lips and the brightness in her eyes.

She brushed his finger away and smirked at him. "I just wanted to know if I passed your class, Professor Cullen."

He lazily reached his arm over to grab the notepad they left on the nightstand.

_Well, you did distract me halfway through my lesson, so…I can only give you a B for interrupting class. But I'll add on an A+ for extra credit._

She rolled her eyes and leaned up, slapping at him while he grinned and threw his arms up to protect himself from her playful wailing.

Finally she stopped and cuddled up closer to him, stretching across his chest and resting her head on her arms. He draped an arm around her, idly running his fingers through her hair.

"Seriously though, was this really your plan all along when you offered to help me study?"

_Sweetie you were too stressed out. You needed to relax; you needed to get your mind off of the books for a while. Don't worry so much–you'll do fine on your quiz tomorrow._

She frowned and sighed. "I hope so."

_Well if you have trouble remembering what I taught you tonight then I guess I didn't do my job properly._

He waggled his eyebrows and she just smiled at him.

"I might need to review the material one more time," she whispered as she leaned up to kiss him.

_**~O~X~O~X~O~X~O~X~**_

The next day Edward was sitting in their park, waiting for Bella. He was done with classes and had stayed on campus to meet up with her after her sign language class. Surprisingly he felt restless and found himself fidgeting. He tried reading his music theory book but couldn't concentrate. He fiddled with some games on his phone, but those didn't keep his attention either. While he had complete belief in Bella that she would ace her quiz, a small part of him would feel bad if she didn't do well. He was the one, after all, who kept her from studying last night. He was sure it was worth it though after he saw how relaxed and rested she looked this morning.

Just then he felt soft hands cover his eyes and he smiled as he reached his hands up to hers. She literally bounced around the side of the bench he was sitting on and jumped into his lap. She had a huge smile on her face as he raised his eyebrows in question to her.

"I got an A! A perfect 100%!"

He pumped his fists in response, then reached for his phone.

_I'm so proud of you!_

"Well, I think it was due to the extra tutoring session I had from Professor Cullen." She started kissing up and down his neck. "I think I may require his tutoring skills regularly."

He beamed.

_I will check his schedule, but I think he might be available._

Then he put his phone away and reached for her, pulling her closer for a celebratory kiss.

* * *

_**A/N: Who wants to attend a class by Professor Cullen? Raise your hands? LOL**_

_**I know these two kids spend a lot of time at the diner or in Bella's bedroom, :) but I promise next chapter will be a little different. In fact I was originally going to include the next part on this chapter but realized it would really need it's own chapter. (Plus Professor Cullen took longer with his lesson than I planned) So for those of you keeping score that's another extra chapter!**_

_**If you've just found this or missed the previous announcement, I posted their Valentine's Day celebration as an outtake, that story is on my profile.**_

_**Also if you're on the Twilighted threads, a reminder Nighthawks has it's own thread:**_

_**http://www (dot) twilighted (dot) net/forum/ucp (dot) phpmode=login&sid=**_

_**I will try to post teasers for each chapter there.**_


	5. Chapter 5

_**A/N: Please read A/N at the end for some important info. **_

_**I'm so sorry it has been so long since the last chap. Besides concentrating on the last Twi25 and major RL stuff going on, it took me a while to get back into the writing groove for this story. Thank you for hanging in there. I am going to concentrate on switching off between this one and my other WIP and (hopefully) there won't be such a long time between updates next time. :)**_

**All copyright and trademarked items mentioned herein belong to their respective owners (SM). The remaining content is all mine. No copying or reproduction of this work is permitted without my express written authorization.**

_**We're starting off exactly where ch. 4 left off. Enjoy...this is a long one! :)**_

_**

* * *

**__Ch. 4: _

"_Well, I think it was due to the extra tutoring session I had from Professor Cullen." She started kissing up and down his neck. "I think I may require his tutoring skills regularly."_

_He beamed._

_I will check his schedule, but I think he might be available._

_Then he put his phone away and reached for her, pulling her closer for a celebratory kiss._

_

* * *

_

Edward captured Bella's beautiful lips with his, caressing them, tasting them lightly with his tongue. He was so proud of her test score he wanted to make sure he properly congratulated her. And Bella was fully appreciative, running her fingers up through the back of his hair and pressing her lips tighter to his as she sighed in contentment.

Suddenly Bella heard the familiar tone of her phone buzzing and she groaned in frustration, reluctantly breaking away from Edward. Fiddling through her bag she finally found her phone. Her eyebrows raised at the caller listed on the screen.

"Dad?"

"Hey Bells, how's my baby girl?"

Bella slipped off of Edward's lap to sit next to him.

"Umm … I'm doing fine. Is everything okay with you?" She was a little concerned, as he rarely ever called her, especially in the middle of the day.

"Everything's peachy, just hadn't heard from you much since Christmas. I know you're a big city girl now but how 'bout calling your old man once in a while?"

Bella felt the guilt wash over her. Charlie was trying to keep his words light but the stern tone of his voice betrayed his hurt and concern.

His voice softened. "Are you really fine? Are you getting any sleep?"

Tears sprang to Bella's eyes. It _had_ been a long time since she'd talked to him … when she was home on her last school break, Charlie had witnessed many of her nightmares and the screaming that often woke her up. She saw how it affected him. Not just the haggard look he had from being awoken from her screaming, but also the constant expression of worry that was permanently etched on his face whenever he looked at her. Her demons were invading his life and she hadn't wanted to drag him down into her misery so she'd left and come back to Seattle early. Soon after she had met Edward and she finally began the climb out of the dark hole she had been living in. But she had been so self-absorbed she had not even thought of calling Charlie to let him know she was feeling better. Instead he had probably continued worrying about her all these weeks—well, months—now. _Crap, I'm a horrible daughter!_ she thought to herself.

"Yes Dad, I have been sleeping much better and I rarely have the nightmares anymore," she paused. "I'm actually in a really good place right now."

She heard the loud breath of relief Charlie let out on the other end. "That's wonderful, baby," he said quietly. "I'm so glad to hear that."

"I'm sorry I haven't called you sooner Dad, I've just been so busy with classes starting again and all the professors are just diving right in, giving us all kinds of assignments."

Her words caused a moment of silence on the line and then a loud clearing of the throat from Charlie.

"Busy with classes, hmm?" He cleared his throat again and now Bella could tell he was nervous or uncomfortable about something.

"Are you sure that's all Bells? Nothing else you want to tell me?"

Bella frowned, not sure where this conversation was leading. "What are you getting at Dad?"

He sighed exasperatedly and she could just picture him fidgeting, his eyes darting everywhere as he usually did when he tried to talk to her about something he obviously didn't want to discuss.

"Talked to Billy the other day. He said he saw you … with someone."

There was dead silence on both sides of the phone as Charlie waited for a response from her and Bella tried to figure out what to say. She was stunned … but then again she probably shouldn't be. Billy was Jacob's father, both were Native American members of the local Quileute tribe. Billy had a way of … sensing things. _The spirits showed him,_ he always said.

"Well, actually yes …." As she was talking she swiveled and glanced at Edward with a slight smile. "I've met someone," she responded softly.

An uncomfortable grunt and more silence before Charlie spoke again. "So … you like this new guy?"

"Very much."

"He likes you? He's treating you right?"

Bella rolled her eyes a little, smiling at her gruff father trying to voice his love and concern. "Yes and yes, Dad. I told you … things are good … really good."

"Yeah well …." He let out a loud breath. "Sue wanted me to call … she wants to do some birthday shindig for me next weekend. Can we expect to see you?"

Bella laughed, picturing her uncomfortable fidgety father … he hated anyone making a fuss over him. She was glad he had Sue to take care of him and make him do some fun things once in a while. "Of course, I wouldn't miss Sue's cooking for the world!" She smirked, teasing him … it was a little "thing" between them. She would pretend she was there to see Sue or anyone or anything else but him. Even though it was the complete opposite and he knew it. And sure enough it got the usual chuckle out of him. Except this time he quickly grew serious again.

"Bring your friend with you. I want to meet him." His tone was stern again and she could tell it was an order not a request.

"Well I'll have to check with him first, but yes, if he can, I'll bring him."

"Okay then … gotta get back to work. Love you, Bells."

"Love you too Dad."

She closed her phone and sat there staring at it, lost in thought. Edward tapped her hand, breaking her out of her reverie. As she looked over to him, his face showed concern. Using one hand he pointed to the phone and then to her, while with the other hand he made the "Ok" sign.

She smiled at him. "Yes, everything is okay. That was Charlie. Sue's having a birthday party for him next weekend." She hesitated a bit before continuing. "Umm … do you have to work next weekend? Or do you think you could get off … to come with me?"

Edward's whole face lit up into the biggest smile. He pulled his phone up and typed.

_Of course I'd love to come with you. I'm sure I can get the work sched. switched._

Edward obviously had overheard her conversation with her father, and the "I'll bring him," line she had said. She was taking him home to "meet the parents." It was such a normal boyfriend-girlfriend thing to do, and he was super excited.

Bella could see his obvious excitement as well, so she tried to tamp it down a little. She narrowed her eyes at him.

"Now don't get all excited about this—Charlie will probably give you a really hard time. He's never liked any of the guys I dated except for Jac … " Her voice trailed off quietly, unable to finish his name.

Edward reached up to touch her face in a gesture of comfort, but she immediately moved her head, looking down and away from him. She got up brusquely, grabbing her bag.

"Come on, I'm starving, let's go to that great little Greek place, I've got a sudden craving for one of their salads.

She held her hand out to him and smiled at him, but Edward could tell her smile was masking something.

Bella had told Edward everything about she and Jacob and what had happened to both of them before and after his accident. And other than a couple of other random times, she never said his name aloud. Edward couldn't help but admit there was a tiny part of him that was a little concerned … and jealous, of this person who had been there, in her life, before him.

But the rational side of him took over and he immediately felt nothing but guilt for even thinking such thoughts. He knew she loved him … but she had also loved Jacob for a time and he knew that she hadn't been back home since they'd met. He was worried about how the visit was going to affect her and what feelings and emotions might surface for her again.

_**~O~X~O~X~O~X~O~X~**_

Bella's mind swirled all week with thoughts of the coming weekend and what it would be like to be back home again. She was glad Edward would be coming with her, but another part of her was afraid it might be weird. Bringing a new guy home to meet friends and family … so soon after Jacob's death. It had only been eight months. Would they understand? Would they be welcoming to Edward? Or would there be tension?

Thursday evening, Bella sighed as she sat staring at her cell phone, trying to will herself to pick it up. She'd been meaning to call her father back all week and kept putting it off. But considering that they were driving down early Saturday morning, time was running out. Friday she had classes and then Edward was spending the night, so … tonight was one of her last moments to talk to Charlie alone.

"Forks P.D., Chief Swan."

"Hey Dad."

"Bells, you mean I get to talk to my daughter twice in one week? Everything okay?"

"I'm fine Dad … Umm, I just needed to talk to you about something before the weekend."

"Uhm hmm?" Charlie's tone sounded guarded.

"It's about Edward, just something you should know before you meet him."

"Ah, Edward hmm? So he does have a name. However, calling me with a warning already doesn't sound good …."

Bella rolled her eyes. "Don't go jumping to conclusions, it's nothing bad, nothing to worry about. He's wonderful, really he is. It's just … well … he can't speak, and I just didn't want you surprised by it, in front of him."

"Wait, what do you mean he can't speak?"

Bella explained what she knew of Edward's history.

Charlie's reaction was exactly as she expected. There was a big sigh on the other end of the phone and a moment of silence. She could picture Charlie trying to choose what to say next.

"Aw, Bells … Are you sure …."

Bella cut him off before he could finish.

"Dad he's important to me … so please be nice and give him a chance. Besides you told me to bring him."

He sighed again. "Alright, alright … I promise I will be on my best behavior."

"Thanks Dad."

They chatted a few more minutes before hanging up with "love yous" and promises to see each other Saturday.

Bella let out a deep breath of relief, a smile crossing her face._ Maybe this weekend won't be so bad,_ she thought. She had a feeling Charlie had more to say on the subject of Edward, but she pushed it out of her mind to focus on the positive. Once he met him, she knew it would be impossible for him to find any faults in Edward.

_**~O~X~O~X~O~X~O~X~**_

Because Forks was a four-hour drive from Seattle and they were planning to get on the road at the crack of dawn Saturday morning, Edward stayed at Bella's Friday night. He got the car packed and then they both went to bed early. Except neither of them got a restful night of sleep. Bella tossed and turned fitfully. She mumbled in her sleep, the only words Edward occasionally made out were Jacob's name … and his own.

When the alarm went off Edward was already awake and he was sure she was too. She hit the alarm to shut it off and immediately sat up and started to get out of bed. Edward grabbed her around the waist before she got too far. He scooted up against the headboard and then pulled her toward him so that she was straddling his lap.

"Edward, we don't have time for …. "

He shook his head and signed to her.

_What's wrong?_

"Baby, nothing's wrong …."

He shook his head again. He leaned over to the nightstand to grab a notepad.

_You were tossing & turning all night and you haven't been yourself all week. Now, something's up with you … is it the trip? You don't have to go if you're not ready. Or is it me? Would it be easier on you if I stayed here instead?_

Bella sighed as she gave Edward a slight smile. She certainly couldn't hide anything from him. They may have only known each other a short time, but he could see through her so well.

"Okay so I guess I am a little nervous about the whole weekend, the whole experience of being back in Forks. But no … I need to do this. It will be okay, I promise." She reached out and stroked her fingers across his cheek gently. "And I need you there with me … please," she said softly. "I don't think I could do this if I didn't have you …." Her smile turned wry as the tone in her voice changed. "Besides Dad is expecting me to show up with you. A chance to torture a boyfriend of mine is practically all the birthday present I need to give him."

Edward lightly brushed the hair away from her face, tucking the strands behind her ear. He leaned forward and touched his lips to hers in a tender, loving kiss, ignoring her attempt to sweep aside her feelings with the Charlie comment.

_O.K. Then. We'd better get going. I love you and I will go wherever you need me._

He signed it all but he could tell from the confused look on her face she didn't quite follow it all. She wanted him to sign as much as possible with her now that she was learning more, but often he had to fall back to written words to get his longer thoughts across.

After she read his words, a smile spread across her face and she kissed him back fervently and leaned her forehead against his.

"Thank you," she whispered. "I love you too."

_**~O~X~O~X~O~X~O~X~**_

The drive from Seattle flew by with Edward beside her, keeping her mind occupied, making her laugh, keeping her grounded.

But when the "_Welcome to Forks_" sign appeared her heart rate sped up profusely and she broke out in a sweat. Telling Edward this morning that she was nervous had been an understatement—in reality, so many conflicting emotions were running through her, she had almost told him several times during the drive, to turn the car around.

From the driver's seat, Edward watched her closely, stealing glances at her. The minute they entered town, Bella's whole posture and demeanor changed. Other than verbal directions to tell him where to go, she just stared out the windows and fidgeted in her seat. He reached out and grasped her hand firmly in his, reminding her he was there. It broke her out of the blank staring, causing her to look over at him with a smile of relief on her very tense face.

Bella had told him a little about Forks and her life there in some of their many talks at the diner. Her parents had divorced when she was young. Her mom was desperate to escape small-town life and took Bella with her. They moved every few years before finally settling in Phoenix. By the time she was in high school, her mom had met and married a new guy, and although Bella liked him, she felt uncomfortable—for so many years it had always just been she and her mother, and now she felt like a third wheel. So eventually she decided to make a change and come live with her father for a while in Forks.

Forks wasn't bad but it wasn't anything exceptional either … she became friends with a few kids in school, which helped make the dull, small-town life tolerable. But it was Jacob who truly lit up her mediocre teenage world.

He and his father, Billy, lived on the nearby Quileute Indian Reservation. Billy had been Charlie's best friend for as long as Bella could remember, and so Jacob and Bella had known each other since they were both kids, often playing together when she visited Charlie in the summers. When she moved back for good, they struck up their friendship again, except this time … it grew into something more. Bella actually fought it at first, not wanting to risk losing her best friend if it didn't work out. She dated a few of the boys from high school, but she never felt as comfortable with them as she did with Jacob. He was persistent, and eventually Bella succumbed. For two years things were perfect. He made her smile and laugh and he was beautiful and he loved her so much.

Things began to change when they graduated. Bella wanted to go to college but Jake had no similar interest. His plan was to open up a garage with a couple of his buddies from the reservation. He loved cars, he knew how to fix them … his future seemed pretty easy to him. He got all bent out of shape every time Bella would talk about anything college-related. Eventually they had a big blow-up about everything. Jacob broke down and finally admitted he was afraid of losing Bella, afraid that the distance would take its toll, afraid that she would find someone smarter and better than him. She had to talk him down, assuage his fears and convince him that she loved him and that her going away to college was not going to change that.

They finally reached a compromise—Bella would attend Peninsula College in Port Angeles. Close enough to commute, she wouldn't have to leave home and she and Jacob could still be together. Naively they both thought this would solve their problems. But while Jacob was working on cars all day, Bella would usually spend most of her day on campus in Port Angeles. Then she'd come home and still have more homework assignments to finish. Jacob on the other hand would be done working for the day and all he wanted was to spend some time with her, often getting frustrated at her lack of time for him. When she _did_ get free time it always seemed to conflict with whatever he had going on. He was hanging out a lot with his "boys" that he worked with and it seemed like they always had plans.

The night of Jacob's accident he had come over to get her and take her to a bonfire he and his friends were getting together on one of the beaches near the res. She had an important paper to finish that was due the next day … and so they argued, and he stormed out. He was angry. He was driving too fast. And he was driving an old mustang convertible that he was still in the process of fixing up. It was drivable but still needed some work. Bella had constantly been after him to stop driving it until it was completely fixed. Just as he took a turn on Old Cliff Road a little too fast, the brakes failed and he lost control. The car tumbled down the steep drop-off to the bottom, bursting into flames on impact.

Bella was upset that Jacob had just ran off and all she could think about was their argument. After staring at the words in front of her without typing one single letter, she finally jumped up to follow after Jacob. It had to be less than five minutes since he'd left. As she was turning onto Old Cliff Road she heard a horrendous boom and the sound of crunching metal up ahead. Her blood turned to ice and her heart started racing. No one would have had to tell her it was Jacob, something inside her just … knew. She saw the break in the flimsy guardrail and stopped her truck in the middle of the road, jumping out without even shutting it off. As she got to the guardrail she saw the huge fireball below and all she could do was stare in shock and devastation.

She heard this piercing wail that she eventually registered as coming from herself. Everything happened fast after that and in a weird fog creeping in slowly around her. She heard sirens and people's voices as if they were far away. She didn't even feel the cold wetness from the pavement through her jeans or the pain in her knuckles as she clutched the guardrail.

Charlie, meanwhile, had received a call about a car running off the cliff and an old beat-up truck blocking the road. When he saw that the truck was Bella's he ran to it and saw that it was empty but still running. He whirled around, frantically yelling for Bella and finally saw her, on her knees, hanging onto the guardrail and screaming and crying hysterically. He barked an order to one of his deputies to move the truck out of the way so the other emergency trucks and personnel could get through. Then he ran to his daughter.

The fire was so large and out of control that the car was indistinguishable. As Charlie kneeled down and enveloped Bella into his arms, peeling her away from the guardrail, he tried to quiet her. When she finally spoke her voice was raspy from the screaming and hard to understand. It took a few seconds but Charlie was finally able to make out the one name she kept repeating—_Jacob._

_**~O~X~O~X~O~X~O~X~**_

Edward pulled up in front of the house Bella indicated and shut the motor off. Bella made no effort to move, she just stared out the window at the house. He reached over the gearshift and again took her hand in his. She still didn't look at him but she squeezed his hand tightly, acknowledging that she knew he was there, acknowledging how much she needed him.

Edward sat there with her, holding her hand until she was ready. After a few minutes she lessened her grip and gave him a nervous smile as she opened the door.

They grabbed their overnight bags and started up the walkway. Charlie must have been watching for them, as he had the door open before they even reached the front steps.

"Bells!"

"Dad." Her reply was muffled as he pulled her into a quick hug. As they separated he looked at her and squinted.

"You look tired."

Bella rolled her eyes. "Dad we had to practically get up at dawn and have been driving for four hours. That's all." The last two words were whispered, purely for his ears only.

Charlie didn't look convinced but let it pass, shifting his gaze over her shoulder to the tall young man behind her.

"Dad, this is Edward; Edward, this is my dad, Charlie." Bella had at least hoped to make it in the door before introductions, but Charlie wasn't budging from the doorway. Edward held up his hand in a wave of "hello" then offered it out to Charlie.

Charlie titled his head up and gave Edward the once-over with a suspicious look in his eyes. Finally after enough of an awkward silence had passed, he held out his hand and shook Edward's briskly.

"Hello Edward. Welcome … " he paused as he moved from the door to let them in.

Bella rolled her eyes again at her father's terseness. To avoid any more awkward scenes with her father she turned to Edward and nodded toward the stairway to the right of the modest living room. "Let's go dump our bags."

"Edward's in the guest bedroom!" Charlie yelled after them as they started up the stairs. Bella's face blushed, knowing exactly what he was implying … or rather trying _not_ to imply.

At the top of the stairs were two doors across from each other. Bella opened the one on the right first.

"Here, this is the guest room."

Edward walked in and dropped his bag on the floor next to the bed. A quick glance showed a neat, simply-decorated room, a typical guest room for company. A bed, a desk and chair, a dresser.

He turned back toward Bella and she looked at him sheepishly. "Sorry about the room … _thing_. Dad wouldn't be comfortable if we stayed together …."

Edward immediately threw his hands up to show he understood and signed, _No problem_.

He honestly didn't expect any more than the spare room, in fact from what she had told him of Charlie, he was expecting to be given the couch. He certainly understood and he didn't want to make waves or disrespect the father of his girlfriend in anyway.

Next they moved across the hall as Bella opened the other door.

"Ummm … this is my room."

Bella sat on the bed and dropped her bag, starting to unzip it and dig through its contents. Edward smiled broadly as he looked around at her childhood bedroom. There was a string of Christmas lights along one wall and underneath, posters of some of her favorite bands and some leftover flyers from school, including one announcing the senior prom. Her graduation tassel was hanging on a hook on the wall right next to a picture of an uncomfortable-looking Bella in her cap and gown and Charlie, his arm around his daughter and his chest stuck out in the stance of a proud father.

There were other photos tacked up on a cork board. Some goofy ones that appeared to be some of Bella's high school friends, one of her mother and what Edward assumed to be her husband, Bella's step-father. There were also some faded rectangles on the board, obviously spots where pictures had once been placed but were now gone for one reason or another. Without thinking Edward reached out and traced them with his fingertips, then turned to Bella with his brows furrowed in question as he pointed to them.

Bella swallowed thickly. "I took all the pictures of Jacob down after he … it was just too hard. Seeing them every day, every minute …." She stopped speaking and looked down to the floor. Edward came over to sit next to her, reaching out and tipping her head up with his fingers so that she was looking at him.

_I'm sorry, _he signed.

She shook her head and smiled at him. "It's okay, really."

About that time they heard a loud throat-clearing from the doorway. Turning to see Charlie, Edward shot up to a standing position so fast, he nearly knocked the lamp on the nightstand over. He stood straight as an arrow, looking at Charlie nervously, while one hand reached out blindly to try and keep the lamp from falling. Bella had her hand over her mouth trying to smother a laugh at Edward's reaction.

Charlie chose to ignore Edward's presence and turned to Bella.

"Time is tight, Bells, we have to get going to the res in half an hour. Sue's having the cook-out at her house."

"Alright Dad, just let us freshen up a bit after the long drive."

Charlie moved backward out of the room, his scowl lingering on Edward one last time before he turned and moved down the hall. Edward turned to look at Bella, the fear-of-God-look still on his face as Bella started laughing again.

_I'm glad you think this is all so funny, _ he signed to her as he headed across the hall to his room.

All Edward had to do was change clothes and, not knowing what else to do, he sat on the bed and waited for Bella to come out of her room. He jumped when he heard Charlie's deep voice again.

"I'm going down and watch TV until Bella's ready." While there was no direct invitation, Edward caught the meaning that he was supposed to go too. So he got up and followed Charlie down to the living room. Sitting nervously on the couch while Charlie sat down in his recliner and turned the TV on to some sports program where the commentators were discussing tomorrow's NBA game.

They sat in uncomfortable silence for a bit before Charlie finally spoke.

"You like basketball?"

Edward nodded vigorously. He was actually more of a baseball fan, but he knew a little about the local teams of other sports and besides he wasn't about to disagree with Charlie on anything.

"The Sonics are doing pretty damn good this year."

Edward nodded again. He searched his brain for something to say and finally he remembered something he'd heard some of the late night truckers talking about at the diner. He whipped out his phone and typed furiously then tapped Charlie on the arm and held it out to him.

Charlie looked at him quizzically, and when Edward pointed to his phone screen, he realized what Edward wanted. He leaned forward and squinted at the tiny type on the screen.

_The new power forward was a good investment. But they need to start playing their bench a little more, get them some experience before the playoffs._

Charlie still looked at Edward as if he had a horn growing out of his head, but he did nod in agreement before turning back to the screen.

"Yep. And they need to start making their free throws. Giving up too many easy points."

Edward beamed.

They continued watching TV, Charlie glancing sideways at Edward every so often.

Finally Bella came downstairs and they all headed off to Sue's house at the res.

_**~O~X~O~X~O~X~O~X~**_

As soon as they pulled up, they were barely out of the car and someone was calling out to Charlie. He took off, while Bella purposely hung back by the car until he was out of earshot. She took Edward's arm to get his attention.

"Edward … " she sighed. "I just wanted to warn you that a lot of Jake's friends will probably be here. They already … blame me partially for what happened because I made Jacob mad. So when they see me with someone new, well … I'm just letting you know there may be some unfriendly faces in there."

Bella was biting her lip and she looked so small and tense in that moment that Edward reached for her and pulled her into his arms. He felt her visibly relax while he held her. He hadn't even met any of these people yet and he was already furious at them. He couldn't believe they actually held Bella responsible for Jacob's death. It might be best if they did keep their distance from him tonight.

He pulled away from Bella so she could sign to her.

_I'm here for you, Bella not any of the others. The only person I care about liking me is you … _he paused and then gave her a grin. _And well, maybe your father._

Bella laughed at his last comment while brushing a few stray tears away. "Well, I already warned you that would be an uphill battle, so don't set your hopes too high on that one."

He grinned back at her and gave her a quick kiss on the lips before they went inside.

As soon as they walked in they were practically bombarded by Sue.

"Bella, sweetie! I'm so glad you were able to make it." She wrapped Bella in a warm, comforting hug. Before pulling away she whispered in her ear, "I know it made your father's day."

As soon as she let Bella go, she headed towards Edward, greeting him with a huge hug as well. "And you must be Edward! Welcome! We're so happy you cold join us!"

When she pulled out of the hug she gave Edward a pointed once-over then leaned over and whispered loudly to Bella.

"Oh he's a cutie!" Edward blushed a little and Bella giggled.

"Alright you two mingle, enjoy yourselves, I've got to get back to the food."

She left and Bella turned back to Edward. He still had a hint of the blush in his cheeks and he just looked so adorable. She leaned in and threw her arms around his neck, stretching up on her tip toes to give him a kiss. He wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her closer.

When they broke apart Bella felt eyes on her and turned to find Jacob's "boys" over in the corner of the room giving her dark, menacing looks. Edward caught her looking and felt the shiver pass through her.

Edward shot them a look of his own before signing to her.

_Those must be Jacob's friends?_

"Yes," She looked down at her feet for a moment while Edward stared. He could understand their hostile feelings toward the two of them, but they needed to realize that Bella couldn't mourn forever and she had to move on with her life.

Bella saw the clench of Edward's jaw as he looked back at the group again. Paul started over to them but Sam and Quil held him back.

She grabbed Edward's arm and started leading him to the back door.

"Just ignore them, let's go outside."

She rushed him out of there as fast as she could. Once outside she took in deep lungfuls of fresh air and immediately felt herself calming a bit. She hadn't realized how tense that brief exchange with Jacob's friends had made her, even if it all happened across a crowded room.

_You O.K.? _Edward signed to her. He had felt her hand trembling.

Her smile was slight. "Yes, I'm fine. Come on let's forget about them and go get some food."

In the backyard there were multiple smoking grills and long tables full of food. Mouthwatering aromas of fish, steak, burgers and grilled vegetables all filled the air. On the table was a smorgasbord of cold pasta and potato salads, baked beans, relish trays, and desserts. There were groups of people scattered around in lawn chairs or at a couple of smaller tables that were set up. Bella and Edward grabbed one of the beautifully colored woven blankets from a pile and spread it out on an empty patch of grass, choosing to have their own private picnic. Occasionally a few people Bella knew either from the res or as work colleagues of her father would wander over to say hello, inquire about how she was doing and how school was going. Bella would introduce them to Edward, and everyone was very welcoming to him. With every encounter Bella would relax a little more, so happy that people were so accepting of she and Edward.

As the guest of honor, Charlie was so busy he didn't really get a chance to spend much time with his daughter. He did however keep a close watch on Edward and Bella. He watched them eating, sharing their food, stealing kisses and tender touches; he watched Bella talking to him; he watched Edward signing something and Bella bursting out in laughter. Laughter. He hadn't heard Bella laugh since … well, since before Jacob's accident. For so many months Charlie feared he might never hear the sweet sound of her laughter ever again. Charlie found himself swiping at his damp eyes, hopefully before anyone noticed. Nothing escaped Sue however, as she snuck up behind him and spoke quietly in his ear while wrapping an arm around him.

"He's really good for her. Look how happy she is, how happy they both are."

Charlie sighed begrudgingly. "Yeah, I guess …."

Sue hit him on the shoulder. "Oh come on … he seems like such a sweet boy." Charlie slowly turned his head to look at her and raised his eyebrows in a questioning look.

Sue rolled her eyes and shook her head. "You're impossible Charlie Swan. Can you at least try to be nice and give him a break … for Bella's sake?" She gave him another swat and turned to head back to the kitchen.

_**~o~x~o~**_

Edward watched Bella as she closed her eyes and lifted her face toward the sky, the sun lighting up her face and bathing her in a warm glow. A breeze kicked up, blowing strands of her hair around. He reached over and gently stroked the hair back in place, tucking some of it behind her ear. At the feel of his touch she turned and smiled lovingly at him.

_Thank you for inviting me. I'm having a wonderful time. _

"I'm really glad you're here too," She responded softly.

He leaned over and gave her a light kiss on the lips then stood up, grabbing their paper plates and trash and walked across the yard to the garbage can. Bella chose that moment to stand as well, arching her back and stretching her arms overhead, shaking her legs out from sitting on the hard ground for so long. So, not paying attention, she practically jumped straight up in the air at the sound of the familiar deep voice behind her.

"What are you doing Bella?" She turned to see Sam standing behind her. Cupping her hand above her eyes to shield the sun so she could see, she looked at him warily.

"What do you mean, 'what am I doing?'"

Sam's lips were drawn tight and she could tell he was trying to contain his emotions.

"Coming here with … that guy! Bringing him here to Jacob's reservation, in front of all of Jacob's friends … hanging all over him. You're disrespecting Jacob's memory!"

Bella's eyes flashed with anger and she swallowed around the lump in her throat before she spoke.

"Sam, it's my father's birthday party. He invited me and he specifically requested that I bring Edward." She sighed in frustration. "I have spent months doing nothing but wallowing in Jacob's memory. I couldn't sleep, I've barely thought of anything or anyone else. It was like I died right along with Jacob. I don't think I will ever be able to forget him.

"I did not mean any disrespect to anyone, I don't want to cause anyone any pain or upset feelings. But I have a right to move on with my life and try to find some happiness. And I have a right to attend my own father's birthday party."

The lump in her throat finally broke and she couldn't hold the tears back. She could see Sam's face soften slightly as she noticed that at some point his fiancée Emily had walked up and was now tugging on his shoulder.

"Sam, she's right. Give her a break and let them be."

Bella shot her a grateful look.

Sam sighed. "I guess I can … understand, Bella. The other guys though … they're pretty upset with you."

About that time they were interrupted by a loud ruckus and shouting from across the yard. Sam was facing the commotion and he yelled loudly, "Paul!" before tearing off to stop whatever was going on.

Bella swiveled to also see what had happened, just in time to see Paul's fist outstretched and Edward falling to the ground.

She screamed Edward's name and ran after him. There was a huge crowd surrounding the two by this point. Sam had Paul in his strong grip, barely containing him as he struggled to get loose. Edward was sprawled on the ground, one arm propping himself up and the other rubbing his jaw. His eyes were dark with anger and he was starting to get up when Charlie stepped in front of him. Bella had reached him at this time and grasped his arm, causing him to turn toward her. She reached up to his jaw, lightly touching the sore and scraped up spot where Paul had broken some skin. Edward's eyes immediately softened when he saw Bella and he signed to her that he was okay.

Paul was Bella's least favorite of Jacob's friends, she thought he had always been an obnoxious hothead. She whirled on him and got in his face, yelling at him, trying to figure out what the hell he was doing. He was laughing and yelling back at her, something about her having to defend her retarded new boyfriend. Bella lunged at him, her hand poised to hit him, as she felt Edward's and her father's arms jerking her backward.

"Enough!" A loud but firm and steady voice silenced everyone. Billy Black was an elder of the tribe and respected by the other Quileute members, young and old, even confined as he was to the wheelchair he needed to use after complications from diabetes. When he spoke they listened. He turned to Paul first, who, at the sound of his voice had finally stopped struggling against Sam's hold.

"I understand and respect your motivation, Paul. But anger and physical violence is not the way Jacob would want you to honor him. You have shamed yourself and disrupted a perfectly lovely day honoring Chief Swan. Now get out of here and go cool off. Don't come back until you can treat our guests with the respect and hospitality they deserve."

Paul still looked pissed off but he wrenched away from Sam and with one last look at Edward and Bella, he turned and stalked off into the house, slamming the door hard behind him.

Billy swiveled around to face Edward. "Edward, you have my whole tribe's apologies for one of our member's actions. I hope it will not tarnish your opinion of us." Billy held his hand out and Edward reached out as well. They shook cordially, Edward accepting his words with a nod.

Billy turned to Charlie and Bella. "I'm sorry that we disrupted your day Charlie." To Bella he simply nodded and spoke her name. Bella blushed in embarrassment and guilt. This was the first interaction she'd had with Billy all day, she had been purposely hiding from him. He may have told her father he "saw" her with someone new, but she still felt guilty about being with Edward in front of him. Why was she angry with Sam and non-caring about other's reactions, but so scared of Billy? Because she didn't want to hurt Billy by his seeing her with someone new.

"Now … " Billy rubbed his hands together. "I believe there is some birthday cake somewhere for the old man here." He motioned to Charlie of course and Charlie made a playful swipe at him.

"Hey I'm still a baby compared to _YOU, old man_." Charlie ribbed back.

This broke all of the tension up, of course, and people started wandering away. Someone turned the music back on and a cake was brought out with what seemed like a million candles.

Sue brought Edward a bag of ice and a clean wash cloth. Bella made him lay on the blanket, his head in her lap while she gently washed away the dried blood from his cheek. It was already starting to turn red and bruise. She looked sadly down into his eyes.

"I'm sorry for all of this Edward."

He shifted up so he could look at her. His eyebrows were furrowed and his lips pouted into a frown.

_You have nothing to be sorry for … it wasn't your fault that Paul has a temper … or that I'm bad at ducking._

Edward's attempt at humor still couldn't put a smile on her face. This was what she had feared about bringing Edward home. And she felt bad that he had gotten caught in the crossfire.

_**~O~X~O~X~O~X~O~X~**_

Edward's whole body jerked as he shot up from the pillow. An ear splitting scream had cut through his consciousness, waking him with a pounding in his chest. It was coming from across the hall but it was so loud it sounded like it was in the room with him. _Bella._

He bolted out of bed and ran across the hall, throwing open her door. She was violently thrashing around in her bed. Her screams had died down but she was still crying out … "No … No Jacob! Edward! No!"

He rushed to her and shook her gently to wake her. As her eyes found his, she started sobbing and clutching at his shirt. He pulled her up into a sitting position and wrapped her in his arms, her head tucked under his chin, his body surrounding her and rocking her in comfort.

Her screaming had awoken Charlie as well, a nightly routine he unfortunately remembered all too well from the weeks and months after Jacob's death. He got up but when he reached his daughter's door this time, he found Edward holding her, quieting her. Neither one of them were aware that he was there so he stayed silent, simply observing. She was clinging to Edward, her sobbing quieting more quickly than normal. Charlie had to admit, Edward did seem to have some kind of affect on her. And he clearly cared very much for her.

After another minute, Charlie began to feel intrusive, so he quietly slipped back to his room, leaving Bella in Edward's care, his heart a little hurt and yet grateful at the same time.

_**~O~X~O~X~O~X~O~X~**_

The bright light streaming in the windows hit Bella's closed eyes, causing her to groan. She tried opening her eyes but her eyelids still felt heavy and dry and crusty. As she slowly blinked several times, taking in her surroundings, she remembered she was home and she remembered the horrible dream from last night. She reached up and rubbed her eyes, only making them feel more sore. As her body slowly started to catch up with her she realized she was cuddled up to something warm and solid and comforting. She looked over and smiled at the copper hair against the other pillow. And then she frowned a little, remembering everything from yesterday … the party at Sue's, the words from Sam and the hit from Paul. She lightly reached out and touched Edward's now very ugly bruise. Her stomach turned over, thinking of how he had gotten that bruise.

And then the dream. She had thought she was over those. All of the emotion of being back in Forks combined with all of the events and stress of yesterday must have brought on the awful nightmare.

Of course, she also remembered being awoken by Edward, being held and rocked by him. She felt so safe in his arms … even though she felt horrible for involving him in all this. He had enough to deal with in his life without being with someone who apparently still had some cracks that weren't healed yet.

He started to stir and pulled her tighter to him before he gradually opened his eyes. She gave him a small smile, a little concerned about how he would feel this morning. He had never witnessed one of her nightmares before. Not to mention that his jaw was probably going to be sore and stiff … all because of her.

He smiled at her and reached out to stroke her face and brush her hair away.

_Hey you. Are you feeling better this morning?_

She shrugged her shoulders. "I'm better having you here with me. I'm sorry you had to see me like that last night."

_Don't you dare apologize._

He rubbed his fingers up and down her arm and then up to her cheek again.

_Do you want to talk … about the nightmare?_

She cast her eyes downward. "They're … hard to explain. Just a jumble of … imagery floating in and out … I guess all the memories from being back home just … got to me."

She reached over and touched his bruise. She tried to be gentle but he winced slightly from the pain.

"And everything that happened yesterday probably didn't help … Edward I'm so  
sorry … "

_Stop saying you're sorry, it wasn't your fault._

She didn't want to hurt him but she couldn't help wanting to comfort him. She leaned over his face, placing the lightest of kisses on every inch of his bruise, wishing she could kiss all his pain away. She moved down his cheek and along his jaw, kissing and licking and nibbling. He leaned his head back further into the soft pillows, eyes closed, a smile on his face. When she reached his lips, she swiped her tongue across his lips and he opened them eagerly, their lips caressing each other, their tongues starting to massage and stroke the other's.

Suddenly Edward's lips stopped moving. His eyes shot open in terror and he moved out from under her, leaping out of bed. Bella fell back onto the sheets, looking up at Edward in concern.

"What's wrong?"

Edward leaned over nervously pulling the covers over her body, all the way up to her chin.

"Edward … what the … !"

His fingers shook while he signed so fast she almost couldn't keep up.

_Your father!_ He stopped and pointed at the open door and then motioned back and forth between the two of them.

_What if he saw us? Saw me … in your bedroom … He already hates me!_

Bella laughed. "Baby, calm down, I don't think he hates you, I told you he's like that with all my boyfriends. I don't think anyone will ever be good enough, in his eyes, for me. If he saw us here or gets upset, I'll explain, I promise. Don't stress over it, okay?" She kneeled up in bed and reached out to pull his face toward hers, kissing him tenderly on his lips. "I'm going to go jump in the shower."

Edward rushed back to his room and slammed the door behind him. Bella couldn't help shaking her head and laughing again, as she got out of bed to grab some clothes.

_**~O~X~O~X~O~X~O~X~**_

When she was done in the bathroom, she dressed quickly and headed downstairs to get some breakfast while Edward took his turn in the shower.

Charlie was reading the paper at the kitchen table while drinking a cup of coffee. When she walked in he quickly put the paper down.

"Good morning Dad," Bella greeted him, as she stifled a yawn and headed over to the coffee pot.

"Morning sweetie. Rough night?" he said quietly.

Bella had her back to her father, and she froze in mid-stir of her coffee,.

Taking her time before answering him, she slowly turned around to face him.

"Did I wake you?"

"I think you woke the hibernating bears all the way up in Goat Forks."

She grimaced. "I'm sorry." She sighed and ran her hand through her thick hair, sweeping it away from her forehead in frustration.

"You said you hadn't been having any dreams any more … so what happened last night? Was it because of all that happened yesterday?"

"Yes … no … I don't know, probably. She shook her head and looked down at her feet before looking back at her father.

"I really haven't had any in so long. I think it _was_ just the stress … of coming back to Forks, of bringing Edward, and having to see everyone again. Obviously you saw how well that went."

Charlie snorted. "Paul's a horse's ass. He needs to learn to keep his trap shut."

Bella giggled at her father's candor.

He turned to look at Bella again. "Edward seems to do a good job of calming you down."

She smiled, as she always did at the mention if Edward. "He does … I feel so calm, so … peaceful with him."

"He obviously loves you a lot." Charlie's voice was thick with the emotion of his words.

Bella tilted her head. "He does … and I love him very much too."

Charlie sighed loudly and turned his gaze back to the table in front of him.

Bella rolled her eyes. "Why do I feel like there's a 'but' coming?

Charlie swiveled his whole body to face her, his eyes sad and compassionate. "Bells, you just went through a traumatic experience. I know Jacob wasn't perfect … but losing someone you love, no matter their flaws, is still a life-altering event." There was a cut to his words, a pain garnered from personal experience. Bella's mother may not have died, but he never got over losing her.

"I'm not saying Edward's not a great guy, and I respect the way he takes care of you and the things he's overcome in his own life. But … it's not going to be an easy road for you two. Loving someone is hard enough and my God … communication is even difficult for two people who …." Charlie was desperately searching for the right words and Bella was holding her breath, trying to keep her anger in check at what she suspected he was trying to say.

" … who … speak the same language." He finally finished.

Bella slammed her cup down on the counter. "I can't believe you just said that! We are communicating just fine, we're figuring it all out. I know this is going to be "different" than dating someone else, someone who speaks … but I don't want someone else. I spent months alone after Jacob. I didn't think I would ever feel anything like this for anyone ever again. I was miserable and in pain and I thought I would have to live the rest of my life that way. And then I met Edward."

She paused and she smiled wistfully, remembering … remembering the first night she saw him at the diner; the first time he "talked" to her; all of the nightly conversations they had; the first night they made love; how he took care of her when she was sick; and how patient he'd been with her now while she was trying to learn sign language.

She felt the tears welling up in her eyes as she looked at her father directly. "Edward brought me back Dad, he makes me laugh again, he makes me smile again. But it's more than that too … he fills something in me, a space inside me that I didn't even know was there. I feel … complete … in a way I never even felt with Jacob. I really love him Dad, and I can't imagine him not being in my life."

Charlie let out a big breath, looking away from her, his hand on his hips. He swiped at his own wet eyes, while he moved forward and opened his arms to take her in a hug. Bella wrapped her small arms around her father, all tension from her body letting go in a stream of tears.

"Aw baby … " He whispered quietly. He bent his head to leave a quick kiss on the top of her head. "I'm sorry." They held their hug for a few silent moments.

He finally leaned away, so he could see her face again, and swiped at the tears on her cheeks. "Regardless of anything else, I really am glad you're happy again, Bells. And if Edward is the cause of that … well … then I'm happy for you. For both of you."

Bella sniffled and smiled up at him. "Thank you," she whispered gratefully.

_**~O~X~O~X~O~X~O~X~**_

Just after lunchtime, it was finally time for Edward and Bella to get on the road and head back to Seattle. Bella had said her goodbyes to Charlie with promises to call and visit more often. She opened the door and stepped out onto the front step, freezing in place as she looked out toward the walkway. Billy was rolling himself up the walkway toward the house. They was no way to avoid him like Bella had been able to do yesterday. Slowly she headed down the steps, meeting Billy at the bottom.

"Hello Bella … Edward, Charlie." He nodded at all of them.

"Game's on and the beer's cold!" Charlie replied.

"Been looking forward to it all week!" Billy responded enthusiastically. A look passed between he and Charlie.

Before Bella realized it, Charlie had taken her bag from her shoulder and followed Edward on out to their car, leaving her alone with Billy.

"Bella, I'm sorry we didn't get to talk much yesterday."

Bella bit her lip and shoved her thumbs in her belt loops, staring down at the ground before looking back at him. "Yeah, things were … a little … crazy yesterday."

He chuckled. "I would say that's an understatement." Billy glanced back toward where Charlie and Edward were standing, then turned back to her.

"Bella I feel like you're feeling uncomfortable around me. And I just wanted to tell you it's okay."

Bella looked at him in surprise.

"The spirits have been showing your light growing brighter and stronger for a while now, You don't know how good it did my heart to see that Bella. You were dark for so long, a weak, barely flickering ember.

Edward is good, Bella, his heart is strong, and pure. His light surrounded you and built yours up until you both became equal in intensity. Your lights, your individual spirits are fused together now, a strong, vibrant bond, stronger than any I've ever seen. The great spirits like this bond very much. They give it their blessing. And I give it mine."

Bella's eyes widened as a tear rolled down her cheek.

Billy's eyes were sad but wise as he smiled wanly. "I know you loved Jacob and he loved you … but your flames were not bright, they were not compatible. And Jacob … the great spirits had shown me long ago that Jacob … " Billy's voice broke just briefly and he took a moment before continuing on. " … that Jacob's light would not last. I always knew something was coming, I just didn't know when."

He reached out and grasped Bella's hand. "Go, Bella … go and have a happy life. It's okay. And it's what Jacob would have wanted."

With his last words, Bella started gasping and more tears fell. She bent down and hugged Billy. "I'm so sorry, Billy … but thank you." She couldn't believe the strength and the compassion in this man and how his words could mean so much to her. He said all that she didn't realize she needed to hear. And her heart felt so much lighter for it.

_**~o~x~o~**_

While Bella and Billy were talking, Charlie and Edward placed he and Bella's bags in the trunk. That took about two minutes and then they just stood there, staring at each other awkwardly.

"Aw hell," Charlie muttered under his breath.

"Edward I have to … thank you for all you've done for Bella, for taking care of her and being there for her." He held his hand out reluctantly and Edward, gratefully, reached out and took it. Charlie never stopped looking him in the eye while they shook and midway through he stopped and squeezed Edward's hand tighter, to make sure he had his full attention.

"And if you _EVER_ hurt her in anyway, I'm comin' after you!" He half-spoke, half-snarled it, and Edward's eyes grew wide.

Charlie loosened his grip and gave Edward's hand one more shake before letting it go.

Edward simply nodded his head up and down, but he felt he needed to say more to Charlie. He reached in his pocket for his phone and typed for a few seconds before showing it to Charlie.

_I promise I will do all that I can to take good care of her, sir. I love her with all my heart. _

Charlie cringed a little but nodded his head at Edward in acknowledgement.

Bella walked up to them then, swiping her hands over her face to make sure all tears were gone. "Okay let's get out of here and let them get to their game!" She hugged Charlie one last time and then she and Edward got in the car.

_**~O~X~O~X~O~X~O~X~**_

Edward was driving and as they were putting their seatbelts on, Bella told Edward there was one more stop she wanted to make on the way out of town.

She directed Edward and as they made the final turn on to the road, her heart sped up and she had difficulty swallowing.

Finally she told Edward to stop and pull over.

Bell got out, clinging to the car door for a few moments before willing herself to move.

Not sure why they were here, Edward got out too and waited for her. As she came around the side of the car he could tell she looked anxious, and she held her hand out for his. He took it, and she squeezed it tightly as they walked to the opposite side of the small narrow road.

At first all he saw was that a section of the guardrail looked newer that the rest surrounding it. But then, as Bella stopped and knelt down in the grassy berm, he saw it.

Next to one of the support beams of the guardrail, was a small granite marker.

Bella had a faraway look in her eye as she leaned over and placed her palm on it, her fingers tracing the letters carved into the stone.

_JACOB EPHRAIM BLACK, 1990 — 2009._ A small drawing of a wolf, on it haunches, howling at the moon, was also etched into the stone.

"Because there was … nothing left to bury, Billy was allowed to construct this small marker here, at the … at the … crash site," she whispered softly.

She had still been holding Edward's hand, and at her words, he pulled his hand away and instead placed his palm on her back, lightly rubbing up and down.

His touch, as always, was a grounding force for her, and kept her from completely falling apart.

Memories of that night came rushing back. She remembered the hurt and the fury in Jacob's face that night as they argued; the loud slam of the door behind him, that practically shook the windows; the sputtering of his car as it finally roared to life and he peeled out of her driveway; the guilt and the worry she felt over him just tearing off like that–it was always like that when they argued. She would feel so guilty that eventually she would give in to whatever he wanted. But not this night.

Except that something kept telling her to get in the car and go after him, make sure he was okay, make sure … well she couldn't even remember now all the reasons she went after him.

She remembered the sheer terror she felt when she saw the broken guardrail … and when she saw the fireball on the ground below, she knew … she knew he was gone.

Only a few tears were trailing down her face as she went through all the memories. She finally felt like she had cried so many tears over Jacob, there were no more left. And as she sat there staring at the stone … she saw Jacob smile. And then laugh. Images began filtering through her brain of Jacob in happier times. The way his silly grin would stretch across his whole face, displaying the brightest teeth she'd ever seen. His eyes seemed to dance with joy. She saw him throwing back his head, the laughter so great it shook his whole body.

Billy was right, they had not had a perfect relationship, even when they started dating. They were so young, so naïve and totally enamored of each other … they thought everything would magically be wonderful and perfect forever.

"Oh Jacob," she whispered. "I'm so sorry …."

Maybe it was just the breeze blowing or her imagination but she swore she could almost hear his voice responding back to her, _"It's alright babe."_

A wave of peacefulness washed over her. It was okay. It was really okay. She was going to be okay … with Edward.

When she finally looked over at him, he was still there, by her side, sitting cross-legged on the ground, waiting patiently. He signed to her.

_Are you okay?_

And she smiled at him, a smile full of genuine love and happiness. "Yes … I think … finally, everything's going to be okay."

He smiled back at her and she reached for his hand, as they both stood up and walked back to the car. Together.

* * *

**A/N:** A couple great causes I (and a lot of your favorite authors) am participating in:

The wonderful einfach_mich and siouxchef are putting together a fic comp to help those affected by the floods in Nashville. It only takes a $5 donation to a worthy charity and you get a compilation of fics from over 165+ amazing authors! Check out **http : / community . Livejournal . Com /ficsfornash/** for details on how to donate or how to sign up if you're an author who would like to participate. I will be contributing a new O/S, probably a slash pairing.

Also the Fictionators site (**www . Fictionators . Com**) will be offering up FicsForNash Teaser Tuesday, this Tuesday (6-1-10). Contributing authors can post teasers of their stories that they are submitting. So if you like you can check out some of the teasers before you contribute.

**FandomGivesBack:** The FGB auction is running again this year in June (6-25 through 7-2) All kinds of great items up for auction, including lots of fic options from so many wonderful authors, with the proceeds going to Alex's Lemonade Stand to fight childhood cancer.

I may be signing up to offer a O/S of the winning bidder's choice, either something new or an addition/outtake to any of my fics…including Nighthawks. (as long as it's not something I have planned for a future chapter :)

Anyway, information here if you're interested in bidding in any of the auctions or signing up to auction something yourself: **http : / www . Thefandomgivesback . Com/**

No auctions are up yet to view, but I believe they will be up in the next couple of weeks. (No bidding starts until 6-25 though)

And lastly, this is posted on my profile, but I'll repeat it here–you can follow me on twitter, I give updates and post teaser links for whatever I'm writing at the moment – **cherbella09**

Twilighted forum for Nighthawks: http : /www . /forum/viewtopic . php?f=44&t=8496&sid=


	6. Chapter 6

**All copyright and trademarked items mentioned herein belong to their respective owners (Stephenie Meyer). The remaining content is all mine. No copying or reproduction of this work is permitted without my express written authorization.**

**A/N: Since the last chap., Nighthawk was rec'd on the Fictionators blog—to all of the new readers who read and alerted after seeing the mention there, I just wanted to say welcome!**

**The musical piece referenced in this chapter is Chopin's Nocturne in C-sharp minor:**

**http:/www(dot)youtube(dot)com/watch?v=HcfmbRo8CP0&feature=fvw**

**More important news in the bottom A/N...**

* * *

As she rounded the corner, Bella could already hear the music coming from the end of the hall. A classical piano piece—which meant it had to be coming from Edward's apartment. Shaking her head, she chuckled, amazed that he didn't get into more trouble with his neighbors over the high volume at which he played his music.

She knocked on his door, she called out his name but he didn't answer to either. She jiggled the doorknob and found it unlocked.

The sight she saw when she walked into the apartment made her pause, and she very gently closed the door behind her so as not to disturb Edward.

He was sitting on the couch, sheet music spread out everywhere around him. His eyes were closed, his lips turned up slightly into an almost smirk. They moved every so often—whether they were reciting the notes or if he was "talking" to himself she wasn't sure. His fingers moved vigorously through the air, touching invisible keys as if he were playing a real piano.

She watched him in awe. He had a big recital coming up and he had been very focused the past week, practicing as much as he possibly could. This was the first she had ever actually seen him while he was working on his music and she was captivated by the energy and passion he put into it.

The musical piece ended and Edward finally opened his eyes. He turned as he caught sight of her.

The look on his face caused a lump to form in Bella's throat. His skin was flushed, his eyes were bright and dancing and the grin on his face stretched across his whole face. He was so exhilarated and joyous and alive. She'd rarely seen him so enraptured and so positively happy before—_well except for in her bed_. She blushed and immediately willed the thought out of her head, at least for the moment.

Still smiling at her Edward moved some of his papers and patted the seat of the couch next to him. She sat down and he reached over to take her face in his hands, tipping it upward gently as he leaned in for a kiss. His lips claimed hers eagerly, caressing her top lip, then her bottom, his tongue licking across her lips delicately. A new piece of music started on the stereo and never breaking away from her he reached for the remote to turn it off.

Before he could do that, Bella pulled away from him, causing him to frown in disappointment.

She looked at him sternly. "Oh no you don't! You're studying for your recital aren't you? I did not come by to interrupt or distract you!"

He shook his head vigorously and waved his hand to indicate that it was no big deal while he pointed the remote at the stereo again. Once again she put her hand on his arm to stop him.

"Don't Edward. Don't stop for me." She shifted on the couch so she was fully facing him, her eyes excited at the idea that just popped into her head. She was a huge music lover of all styles of music, and understood the emotions music could evoke. Appreciation for classical music still eluded her though. And she certainly had no musical talent so she definitely couldn't imagine what to was like to experience the music from a musician's perspective .

"In fact," she said, "I _want_ you to keep the music on. I want to know how you hear the music, what you're feeling while listening to a piece. You get so excited and carried away by the music." She grasped his hands and held them up. "_Tell_ me. I want to hear it through your ears, so to speak—what the music makes you feel, what you're thinking about while you're playing."

He tilted his head and looked at her quizzically for a moment before answering her.

_Bella it's not all that interesting, really. Half the time I'm just thinking about the next note I have to play._

"I don't care, I want to know."

He was still looking at her as if she was nuts, but he just kind of shrugged his shoulders. Honestly, Edward wasn't sure if he could convey what she wanted. But he was so incredibly touched that she showed such interest, he felt he had to try. Music was such a huge part of who he was that it overwhelmed him that she wanted to know that part of him. Except for his fellow music students, most others didn't really "get" it.

He hit the remote button to restart the song.

_This is Chopin's Nocturne in C-sharp minor. It's one of the pieces I'm playing Saturday, _he signed to her.

Facing forward, he closed his eyes again as the music started.

This piece was slower than the previous one he had been listening to. The first few notes were slow and a bit somber.

Edward started by naming the notes, while still glancing at her sideways. He was sure he was going to bore her to death. Then the tempo began to change, the notes were faster, trilling and fluttering over each other. He felt himself being drawn into the melody and the structure of the notes. His whole body shifted forward, sitting on the edge of his seat. His hands began moving a mile a minute, sometimes imitating playing and sometimes signing to Bella.

Bella silently watched. He went through a transformation as he "played." He was right, a lot of it was technical, things she didn't understand, like trying to explain how the way Chopin used and repeated certain combination of notes to get a certain sound. But as he got more carried away into the music he overflowed with the emotion.

_Do you feel it? _He asked her._ How sometimes it sounds so sad and despondent and then he puts a run of notes in that add light and air on top of the more somber notes. How the completely two different sounds blend together, coexisting somehow in a way that fits. _

The piece ended and Edward turned to her excitedly to see her reaction. She was smiling, entranced now by hearing the music from her perspective. He made it come alive for her and she had been swept away with him.

"Yes! I completely see what you're talking about. It's beautiful, and sad, yet hopeful at the same time."

Edward wanted to tell her that she was the light and hope in his dreary life, just like how the two parts of the song weaved together. But he found himself holding back. He'd been doing that a lot lately, since everything that happened in Forks. He was afraid . . . Forks had really brought it home that she had a life before him. And even though Jacob was gone, what if she wasn't ready to move on yet? She said she was and she seemed happy with him, but was she truly? Edward loved her with everything he had, everything he was, probably too much. She was his world . . . what if it wasn't the same for her?

Bella, completely missing the smile fading from Edward's face, was still caught up in the moment as threw her arms around him. "Thank you, thank you Edward so much for sharing that with me!"

_**~O~X~O~X~O~X~O~X~**_

Two days later Bella hurried through the front doors of the music building, hoping she would make it on time. She'd only been here once before, with Edward, and knew she would not remember her way around. Thankfully there was a sign pointing the way to the recital being held today in Brechemin Auditorium. Outside the auditorium there was a very elegantly printed sign on an easel listing the name of the students participating. A thrill of excitement shot through Bella as she saw Edward's name.

She walked into the room and found that there were already a lot of people there, some seated, some milling about talking to each other. Many were obviously other music students. Others, those who were older and more expensively dressed, were obviously patrons of the music program at UW.

Bella managed to find an empty seat with a good vantage point a few rows back from the stage and a little off to the side. As she sat and waited, she found herself clasping and unclasping her hands, shifting back and forth in her seat, crossing and uncrossing her legs. She was excited and nervous for Edward and she was only going to be the one sitting and watching. She didn't know how Edward stood the pressure and the nerves. She'd be puking her guts out every five minutes.

Finally a tall blond man stepped out on to the stage and asked everyone to please take their seats. Bella recognized him as Edward's professor, the man she saw him signing to the day he had brought her to the music building and played piano for her.

As the crowd began to settle and quiet, he spoke again, thanking everyone for coming today. He made a joke about how most people hear the words "piano recital" and run screaming for the hills. The whole crowd tittered with light laughter.

"Instead," he paused for dramatic effect, "I think that you will be extremely happy that you came today because we have some amazingly talented pianists in our program this year." He paused and leaned forward as if sharing a secret with all of them. "Just don't tell them you heard that from me." The crowd laughed again.

He then announced the first student. Everyone applauded as she took the stage. She looked nervous and she faltered on the first few notes but quickly recovered to finish well. She played two more pieces before exiting the stage to more applause.

Two more students came and went, each of them also playing three pieces. Bella clapped politely for each one, her knee still bouncing up and down. Glancing at the program Bella was relieved to see that Edward was up next.

And before she knew it, the blond man was announcing Edward's name and everyone was applauding. Bella couldn't help the smile that erupted on her face the minute she saw him. He was wearing a black suit with a crisp white button-down shirt underneath The top button on the shirt was left unbuttoned and his usually unruly hair was still just as unruly, giving him a bit of a "mad musician" look. He was . . . breathtaking.

As soon as his fingers touched the keys, the first notes ringing out into the quiet room, she was entranced. His fingers flew confidently and effortlessly over the keys. His upper body moved along with the tempo of the song, leaning tensely in toward the piano during the quick, frenzied moments; then easing away gently during the slower, quieter moments. He had such concentration and focus, only breaking it when a song ended and the crowd applauded. Then he would turn back to the keys again and be totally back into his own world again, one in which only he and the piano existed.

Finally it was his last song, and as he began to play, she suddenly realized that she recognized this selection. It was _her_ song, the one he had composed for her, the one he played for her when he brought her to the music building that afternoon. She gasped in surprise and her heart started pounding. She knew they had to play one original piece, but she couldn't believe that was the one he chose. Tears sprung to her eyes and she hoped she could keep it together until he finished.

And then, too quickly, it was. She swiped at her wet face as he stood and bowed at all of the enthusiastic applause. The huge smile on his face was such a wonderful sight. She had a matching smile just as big, so happy and so proud of him. Before he left the stage she saw his eyes roaming the room until he met hers and he gave a little wink, just to her.

After the concert, there was a small wine and cheese reception in an adjoining room. The patrons all milled about chatting with each other, waiting for the musicians to come out. Edward's professor was making the rounds thanking people for attending and stopping to talk with those he knew. Not knowing anyone, Bella stood off in a corner, sipping her wine and waiting for Edward. She was surprised to see his professor catch her eye and start making his way over to her.

"Hello, thank you for coming today, I'm Dr. Carlisle Cullen, the head of the Piano department." He paused with a mischievous grin on his face. "You are Mr. Masen's young lady, yes?"

Bella gulped her mouthful of wine and blushed at Dr. Cullen's word choice. "Um, yes, I guess that would be me," she laughed. "Bella Swan," she replied as she held out her hand to grasp his in a polite handshake. "How . . . did you know I was with Edward?"

"I recognized you from a picture Edward showed me on his phone." He tilted his head as he looked at her. "It is a pleasure to finally meet the young woman who has made Edward so happy these last few months. I'm not supposed to play favorites of course," he said with a twinkle in his eye, "but I have a soft spot for Edward. He is an extraordinary young man in many ways—bright and studious with a strong work ethic, and also a compassionate and generous personality. He has had a lot to deal with because of his speech issues and he has made peace with and accepted his life as it is. But the change in him since he met you has been quite evident, Bella."

Bella felt her cheeks heat up as she blushed again at Dr. Cullen's words.

"It is like that final missing piece has fallen into place for him and it's been such a joy to witness. I know from personal experience how finding and loving the right person can truly change your life."

Dr. Cullen's expression softened as he paused, his voice taking on a kindly, compassionate tone. "And I also understand that it probably hasn't been easy for you. It takes a special person to accept someone like Edward unconditionally and to adjust your life to fit his."

Bella's eyebrows shot up and she leaned back in surprise. She was wary because she wasn't quite sure how to take his comment. She hoped it was meant as a compliment, but she didn't feel right accepting it as one.

"Well Dr. Cullen, when you love someone you do whatever you need to do to be with them. I don't feel 'special' or feel that I am sacrificing anything in my life to be with him. In fact I am grateful and amazed every day that he wants to be with _me_." Bella tried to not let any malice seep into her words as she continued to eye Dr. Cullen. He did not seem taken aback at her defiant tone, instead he simply nodded in agreement.

"Yes, Bella," he said quietly. "That _is_ what one does, or rather what one _should_ do when they love someone. But it is precisely those feelings that _do_ make you special, Bella even if you don't feel so." He sighed and his eyes seemed a little sad. "Because, unfortunately not everyone in the world shares your opinion. A lot of young women would not give of yourself the way you have. Being with Edward would be 'too hard' or 'too much work' and they would have bailed long ago. It's wonderful that you love Edward for who he is, no matter what, and that is why he's so lucky to have you." His eyes shifted across the room to see Edward approaching them, so he quickly turned his attention back to Bella.

"You are good for Edward and he for you, from what I witnessed while you were watching him play." He smiled at her knowingly. "Like I said I have a soft spot for Edward but I really do understand your situation too Bella. If you ever need someone to confide in, please know my door is always open."

While Bella was still a bit taken aback, she couldn't help but be won over by Dr. Cullen's genuine kindness. She knew Edward considered Dr. Cullen as his mentor, professionally, but didn't realize Edward talked to him about the personal things in his life like her. She was surprised at this man that she had just met broaching such a serious conversation with her, but realized it was only because he really did care for Edward. And he did seem to honestly be offering his help.

She finally smiled back at him. "Thank you Dr. Cullen for both your kindness to Edward and for the open door offer. I will keep that in mind."

Edward walked up then to greet them both, his face relaxed and flushed with relief and happiness.

"Edward, great job today. I think you may have finally mastered a passable version of the Chopin piece." Despite the tempered compliment in his words, Dr. Cullen was smiling with pride at Edward.

_Thank you Dr. Cullen._ Edward paused his signing to motion to Bella. _I see you've met Bella?_

"I have and I must say Edward you are a lucky man, she is as lovely as you described."

Edward simultaneously both blushed and beamed at Dr. Cullen's comment.

"Now if you'll both excuse me, I must continue making the rounds. Enjoy the rest of your weekend, you two. Celebrate, Edward, you deserve it, and I will see you in class Monday." Dr. Cullen winked at both of them and then took his leave to go speak to another nearby group consisting of one of the other students and their family and friends.

Edward turned to face Bella and in a burst of excitement she threw her arms around his neck, enveloping him in a tight hug. He returned the emotion, lifting her off the ground briefly before setting her down and pulling back to free his hands.

_So I take it that means you liked my performance?_

Now it was her turn to beam. "Oh Edward you were so wonderful! You were the best one up there today!"

He grinned broadly. _And you wouldn't be a little bit biased now would you?_

She shrugged her shoulders and gave him an innocent look. "I can't help it that my sexy boyfriend is also extremely talented."

_Sexy, hmm?_ he quirked his eyebrow playfully at her.

She leaned up so that she was so close to him that only he could hear her answer. "Definitely, especially in that amazingly hot suit he's wearing." She moaned quietly as she claimed his lips with hers.

_**~O~X~O~X~O~X~O~X~**_

After they left the recital, Bella treated Edward to a leisurely meal at a fancy gourmet French restaurant. He protested, especially when he saw the prices but she insisted. It was his special day and she said he deserved to celebrate it properly. They stayed late into the evening, finishing their meal, then sharing a decadent dessert and staying for coffee.

Once back at her apartment, she convinced him to come in, and they relaxed on the couch kissing and making out. Every time her hands wandered—to unbutton his shirt a little more, to stroke him through his pants—he would coax her hand back up to his shoulder or into his hand. Finally he broke away from her with a last peck on her lips and signed that it was late, he should be getting home. But as he stood from the couch she stubbornly held on tightly to his arm, refusing to let him leave.

She wasn't sure what was going on, but ever since the trip back home to Forks two weeks ago, Edward had been keeping a distinct distance between them, romantically. He didn't like to stay over and the few times she had managed to get him to stay he fell asleep almost immediately.

_Bella . . ._

"No!" she interrupted him. "It _is_ late, _very_ late, and tomorrow's Sunday, you don't have classes, so stay. Stay with me tonight . . . please."

Her voice dropped so that her pleading "please" was very soft and sultry, making it very hard for Edward to resist.

_OK,_ he signed.

She smiled.

_**~O~X~O~X~O~X~O~X~**_

Once they were curled up in Bella's bed, she turned to him.

"I know you thought I was biased, but I just wanted to tell you that you really were fantastic today. I am so proud of you."

Edward looked lovingly at her and stroked her cheek. Then he leaned over to give her light kisses all over her face. Bella knew what he was going to do next—he was going to turn over and go to sleep, like he'd done every other time he had stayed over recently.

This time when he got to her mouth, she grasped his face with her hands and pressed her lips tightly to his, communicating her desire to him very clearly.

When he still managed to pull himself away, Bella huffed in frustration.

"Edward, do not turn away from me. Now what's going on?"

He tried to feign a look of confusion but did a poor job of it.

"You've been distant ever since we got back from Forks. You were so wonderful to me while we were there, you helped me so much. Did something happen that I missed? Did I do something?"

Edward immediately started shaking his head no. He felt horribly guilty now, knowing that she was questioning herself, thinking she had done something. The truth was . . . he couldn't get rid of the nagging thoughts of her relationship with Jacob out of his head. Being in Forks, meeting people who knew him, seeing his memorial marker, suddenly made him real for Edward. And even though Bella swore she had closure now, he still couldn't help but wonder if Bella would ever really be over Jacob. And his biggest fear—if she could really truly love him as much as she had Jacob.

_No . . . you didn't do anything. _

Edward was silent, trying to figure out how to voice what he was feeling as Bella continued looking at him expectantly, patiently waiting. He finally pulled a notepad over and started writing. He could have signed but he felt easier hiding behind the notepad. Plus Bella still occasionally misunderstood his signs and he wanted to make sure every word he had to say was clear.

_I know you said the Forks trip was good for you and that you've made peace with everything that happened. And I'm so happy for you baby, I am. But I also know it dredged all of that back up for you again. I just can't stop thinking about what a big part of your life he was, all the things he got to experience with you that I won't. I willingly admit that I'm jealous that he was in your life first. And I'm scared that you might decide one day that you still miss him . . . that he was the one you really loved. I'm worried that I won't be enough for you._

Bella just stared at the words on the page, speechless. She had no clue he felt this way. When she finally raised her eyes to look at Edward, her heart twisted at the unhappiness she saw on his face.

"Edward . . . yes he was a big part of my life and he will always be with me in some way. I can't do anything about that. But you and he are completely different people and you claim different parts of my heart. Jacob was my past, _you_ are my future, for as long as you want me. What I had with Jacob was important at the time and I did have love for him. But I realize now that my love for you is so different. It's bigger, it's stronger. You give me so much more, baby, than I ever thought was possible. I _want_ to be with _you_. I love _you_ and everything about you. I miss you when you're not around and I can't wait till I see you again. You _are_ enough for me, you are _everything_ to me."

Bella grasped his face in her hands and stroked his cheek. "It makes me sad to think that you're feeling this way. I understand why, but I promise you I _am_ ready to move forward . . . and I don't want it to be with anyone but you. I am in this all the way, no second-guessing, no questioning. I don't want there to be anyone else but you."

Edward stared into Bella's eyes and immediately felt guilt and disappointment. He was disappointed in himself, that he let his insecurities take over and ignored what was right in from of him. In Bella's eyes he saw honesty and strength and confidence. She had no doubt, she was sure of herself and how she felt. And she deserved the same in return.

_I'm sorry. _

He touched his forehead to hers and closed his eyes, letting her words and the emotional relief wash over him. He kissed her deeply and willingly, intending to show how much he loved and believed in her. Soon they were grasping and groping and tearing off clothes. He needed her, he needed to feel her, to get lost in her. But suddenly she stopped him.

"Wait." Her voice was breathless but there was a mischievous glint in her eye. Remembering the other day and how she got him to describe the piece of music to her gave her an idea. She pushed him over so that she was straddling him. The brief moment of confusion left his face and was replaced again with desire as he immediately reached for her. And again she stopped him, grabbing his wrists.

"No. No touching tonight." She leaned forward, the breath from her words creating a tingle on his skin. "I want you to use your hands to talk to me instead. Tell me what you're feeling . . . say, when I do this . . . ." She took his earlobe in her mouth and tugged gently on it with her teeth.

"Or when I do this." Her tongue licked a wet path around his ear and down to his jaw, as she began to alternate licking his clean-shaven skin with feather-light kisses. He was squirming, a sure sign that he liked what she was doing so when she got to his chin, she stopped and looked at him for his response.

Edward felt a little uncomfortable, just as he had the other day when she requested the same of him while he was practicing. He had never had this type of request made of him before. She was still looking at him, waiting. And before he could figure out a response, his cock, twitching impatiently under the heat of her body, took over greedily.

_More, please._

She grinned and leaned down, taking his bottom lip in hers, nibbling and sucking. His mouth opened easily and they tasted each other with their tongues, deeply, melting together.

Edward was panting when Bella broke the kiss and started nuzzling and kissing down his neck to his chest. He tried lifting his head and upper body to stay closer to her.

_Mmm . . . You taste so good, come back here._

She shook her index finger at him just as her tongue made contact with his nipple. The sensation surprised Edward and he arched his chest and let out a heavy breath. She continued lapping and circling and teasing the sensitive area, setting it on fire.

_Oh Bella . . . so . . . so . . . amazing._

She looked up at him and smirked. "You liked that, hmm?"

_Hell yes._

After lavishing equal attention to his other nipple and driving Edward insane, she shifted, moving farther down his chest, trailing more kisses along his abs and across his hips. His skin felt so hot under her lips. They tingled every time they made contact with his body.

He was still wearing his boxers and she slid her hand under the waistband, curling her fingers gently around him, already hard and ready for her. He moved in her hands and his hips bucked as she stroked him.

_Oh God . . . your hands . . . so soft baby. Please don't stop._

He moved his legs and she was able to shed the boxers. She leaned back over him again and peppered delicate kisses up the length of his cock up to the tip.

Edward's hands were all over the place now. He was gripping the sheets, he was grabbing for her hair. He knew he wasn't supposed to touch her but he couldn't restrain himself anymore, he was no longer in control of his reactions. Just as he leaned his head back into the pillow he felt a warm, wet heat around him. She had taken him in her mouth, and was licking and sucking around the top. She looked up at him, expecting a response he was incapable of giving at this point. With shaking fingers he tried to describe what she was doing to him.

_Jesus Bella! Oh God, so warm . . . wet. Baby you have to . . . I can't . . . I . . . _

Bella could tell he was falling apart. If it were possible to babble in sign language he certainly was. And frankly she was aching herself, needing desperately to feel him inside her. Her body naturally responded to his anyway, but tonight—seeing him let go; being able to "hear" him, to know what he felt when they were together, to know how _she_ made him feel—made her whole body tremble.

She let him slip from her mouth and she sat up, hooking one leg over his right side. Straddling him, she then leaned over his whole body to devour his lips once again with her mouth.

Edward bucked at the feeling of her weight on top of his body. As she leaned over to kiss him, she was rubbing back and forth against his hard length and the friction was driving him mad. He gripped her hair and crushed her to him.

Bella moaned against his mouth as they wantonly kissed and grasped and clawed and tried to press themselves as close together as they could. Finally she broke away and sat up again. Looking in his eyes she saw love and lust and she held his gaze intently with hers, wanting him to understand how important this was for the two of them. She shifted, finally and slowly guided him into her, gasping and arching as she did so, fitting her body to his.

As urgently as they both needed this, they also needed to just enjoy and lose themselves in each other. She started off moving slowly, gently, building the already burning fire even stronger.

Edward felt as if he were in another world, a dream. The sight of her above him, rocking and moving, bringing them both such pleasure was so unbelievable. Whatever he had done to deserve her in his life he sent up a thank you to God.

She was lost now, searching for her own release, her eyes closed, her teeth biting her lip. Her hands braced herself on his chest and her hair hung down around her. He ran his hands through it, pushing it over to one side so he could see her. He stroked her face, and down her neck.

_God you are so beautiful. My beautiful, sexy Bella. Let go, my love . . . I need you . . . let go for me . . ._

She focused on him, his moving hands, his eyes boring into hers. Finally she crashed and trembled and shattered into pieces, gasping and crying out his name. He gripped her hips and pumped himself hard into her, finally giving her all of his desire and need, exploding into her as she slowly came down above him.

Bella watched him as he came, his head lolled back, his neck muscles straining with tension, his chest heaving. She loved knowing she could do this to him, could make him feel so intensely. He might never be able to scream her name out but the rest of his body was so expressive in so many other ways. He finally collapsed back into the bed and she fell weakly onto his chest, their pounding heartbeats and the rise and fall of their chests in perfect sync. After a few moments she rose up on one arm so she could look at him. She stroked gently down his face with her other hand as they stared intently at each other. Then she grasped one of his hands and held it to her still-racing heartbeat.

"Do you feel that? Remember that, and never doubt how much I love you, never doubt how much I need you," she whispered softly to him.

He pulled her to him for a tender, emotion-filled kiss. Shifting her so she was lying beside him, he stared at her, slowly brushing her hair away from her face.

_I'm sorry, _he signed._ I'm so sorry baby. You are so amazing and patient with me. Thank __you for tonight. Thank you for everything._

"I am yours and only yours Edward."

She snuggled into his side then and he wrapped his arm around her. His heart was so full it was near bursting. He finally felt something leave him, a weight that he didn't realize he had been holding onto all this time. He finally felt secure. She was his. She loved him. She wanted him. Nothing else would ever matter. He resolved to be better for her, to be stronger, to take care of her as much as she did him. When he thought of the future he finally felt nothing but blissful hope. They were going to be okay.

He drifted off to sleep with her warmth next to him and a contented smile on his face.

* * *

**A/N: Like Bella, I know very little about classical music. I did do some research into Piano concertos and composers, trying to imagine what Edward might be playing. The Chopin piece he plays for Bella and also in the recital was the one that moved me the most. :) **

**Now for the important news: the next chapter may be delayed a bit (and I know, I already update at the pace of a snail) BUT there is good reason! terrycornwell was the winning bidder in my FGB auction and she has requested a special outtake of Nighthawks. She gets the rights to read it first but it will be posted for everyone to read. Between Ch. 6 & 7 will I think be the best place for it, chronologically in the story's time line, so I will probably be completing and posting that first, before moving on to ch. 7.**


	7. Chapter 7 FGB Outtake

_**A/N: This "chapter" is actually the FGB Outtake that the lovely terrycornwell purchased. I debated about posting this separately but finally decided to just post it here to make it easier for everyone to find. Although meant to stand alone it could also fit in really well as another chapter. It gives us some important insight to Edward and what he's been through—terrycornwell's request (besides some fluffy romantic times between E & B :) was to learn more about Edward's past. I planned to add some of his history in the next upcoming chapter, (and there is still more to come) but had not intended to go quite this indepth. So I thank her profusely for her idea, because it ended up being such an experience to dig in and really tell his story. I hope you all enjoy it as much as I did writing it... :)**_

* * *

  


Edward stretched, feeling the cool sheets against his skin. He reached out, expecting to feel Bella's warm, soft body next to him but felt…nothing. Frowning, he slowly opened his sleepy eyes. The blinds were still shut, but they were almost a bright white, barely hiding a sun that must have been up for many hours already.

"Ah, he finally wakes!"

His lips immediately quirked up into a big smile at the sound of his beautiful Bella's voice. He rolled over onto his back in time to see her nearing the side of the bed. The edge of the mattress dipped as she sat down next to him, and her soft fingers brushed his hair off of his forehead.

He automatically reached for her, one hand touching her hip and the other stroking up and down her arm.

_Time?_ he signed.

"It's just a few minutes past noon, sleepyhead." Even though her words were teasing, she knew he needed sleep, which is why she had been careful not to wake him when she got up earlier. He'd worked his usual shift at the diner last night and didn't come in until the wee hours of the morning. Because she lived so close to the diner, lately he had taken to coming to her apartment after his shift and sleeping with her, especially on the weekend. In fact she was planning to talk to him soon about maybe just moving in with her, either to her place or to a brand new apartment. Every time she thought about the idea she couldn't help but break out into a big smile, but she was still hesitant about asking him. She didn't want to rush things too much, but in her heart, she already knew he was the only man she ever wanted to be with.

His eyes still half-closed, he pulled her down to the bed next to him, shifting himself so that he was leaning over her. He pressed his lips to her throat, trailing a path of light kisses down to her collarbone.

She giggled and tried to protest. "Edward!"

Without even looking up at her, he held one hand up to sign.

_Not ready to get up yet._

Continuing his motions down her chest and through the opening in her blouse, nuzzling and kissing her lightly, he unbuttoned the one button that was keeping him from his destination. Parting the material of her shirt he revealed the perfect swell of her breast.

He felt her take in a breath and sigh.

"Uh hmm . . . Edward . . . ." Her voice was softer this time.

He smiled as he placed small kisses on the creamy skin at the top of her breast. He reached inside her shirt to push aside the soft cotton of her bra when she grasped his arm. She tugged the fingers of her other hand through his hair, trying to get his attention.

"Edward . . . ."

He shifted up so they were face to face and he captured her lips with his. They nipped and sucked and caressed hers as he she leaned up, pushing him back down to the bed. Now she was on top and just as he reached for her face, she pulled away, sitting upright and beginning to button her blouse back up.

"Oh no you don't! I've got too much studying to do, and if we don't stop now I'll never get out of that bed today."

_OK_, he signed, as he grinned wickedly and reached for her again.

She was too quick though, grabbing his hands in hers and placing them back on his chest. She stood and leaned over, placing a chaste kiss on his pouting lips.

"Later," she whispered huskily.

He rolled his eyes as she walked away. She was right, though. The end of the school year was about a month away and they both had much work to get finished up in their classes. Even a completely free Sunday couldn't be wasted.

He stretched languidly one more time and rubbed his face before getting up and heading into the shower.

"_Later,"_ she'd said. He would definitely hold her to that, he thought to himself, smiling as he closed the bathroom door.

_**~O~X~O~X~O~X~O~X~**_

He rubbed the condensation away from the mirror and reached for his toothbrush. He was spending so much time lately here at her place that more and more of his stuff was ending up in her bathroom and her dresser drawers. Even her kitchen cupboards now stocked some of his favorite foods.

The door opened and he felt her cool arms wrap around his damp chest. She pressed her nose into his back and inhaled deeply.

"Uhmmm, you smell so good after you get out of the shower."

He turned his head toward where she was hiding behind him.

_Does this mean it's "later?"_

He winced exaggeratedly as she hit him on the arm. She poked her head around to look at him in the mirror.

"You are insatiable. _NO_, it's not later. I just wanted to know if you wanted to go grab something for lunch? I looked and realized I don't have anything lunch-worthy in the kitchen. I guess I need to go to the store later."

_Sure._

"Great, I'm starved. I'm just going to call mom real quick while you finish getting ready."

She left the room and Edward turned back to brushing his teeth. Bella's mom lived in Florida, and they usually talked on the phone at least once a week. Since she had lived most of her life with her mom before she moved to Forks, the two had a strong mother-daughter bond. Edward sent out a silent prayer of thanks to Bella's mom for remarrying, or else Bella might have never moved back to Washington and the two of them would probably have never met.

Bella's voice floated in quietly from the other room.

"_Hey Mom, Happy Mother's Day."_

Edward's hand stilled mid-brush and his stomach clenched at her words. His heart beat wildly as he looked into the mirror. _Mother's Day . . . It was Mother's Day. Oh my God . . ._ the day had completely slipped his mind this year. Every year he was always warned weeks in advance–seeing the date when he changed the calendar page from April to May, seeing the signs and greeting cards in the grocery store. But this year he was so absorbed in his classes and work—and well, mostly Bella—that he had not even realized the day was here.

The gnawing ache in his chest grew bigger and he felt the usual melancholy wash over him. Inside, a sad, little four-year old boy called out into the emptiness . . . _Mama . . ._

Edward threw on his clothes as quickly as he could. When he stepped quietly into the living room, he saw Bella was still on the phone with her mom. She had moved out onto her tiny balcony, and thankfully, her back was to him. He silently grabbed his hoodie from the couch and his phone and keys from the kitchen counter. He wrote a few quick words on the dry-erase board on her wall, then opened the door and with the quiet click of the latch, was gone.

_**~O~X~O~X~O~X~O~X~**_

Bella finally finished up the obligatory phone call to her mother. It had taken longer than she had planned, as phone calls to her mother usually did. But if "her mother's only daughter" hadn't called her on Mother's Day, she would have undoubtedly heard about it later. Bella smiled and shook her head at her lovingly intense mother.

Her stomach grumbled hungrily as she came back into the apartment, sliding the glass door behind her. "Edward?" she called out. Of course she was not expecting a verbal response, but she did expect to hear him moving around somewhere.

"Edward?" Nothing but quiet.

Her eyes glanced down the hall toward her bedroom—nothing. She turned back to the living room and kitchen—nothing . . . except she noticed that his hoodie and keys were gone. Frowning she saw the writing on the white board and went over to get a closer look.

_Sorry, had to go. E._

_**~O~X~O~X~O~X~O~X~**_

Edward walked aimlessly for blocks, no real destination in mind. He just needed to get away, to be alone for a while. He concentrated on putting one foot in front of the other, on watching every square of sidewalk pass under his feet. Who knew how long he might have kept walking if the sound of laughing and squealing children hadn't broken through his numbness.

Looking up toward the sound, he saw that he was at the park—his and Bella's park—on the edge of campus, the one they often met each other at. Today being Sunday, there were fewer students around and more families enjoying the beautiful weather and the family holiday. Young children celebrating the day with their mothers (and fathers).

Edward found himself turning, walking toward the park, though he didn't know why. He was the odd man out here, one person, alone . . . with no family. No mother. Slumping down onto a bench, he watched the kids and the parents, still lost in his own thoughts. He felt his phone vibrate in his pocket but he ignored it.

Holidays like Christmas and Thanksgiving had always been hard for Edward. Small families; large extended families with fifty aunts and uncles and cousins; hell, even dysfunctional families who hated each other–all gathered together on those special days. But Edward had no family to spend his family holidays with. And Mother's Day and Father's Day always hit especially hard for him . . . because he had once had a mother and father. He was so young when the car accident happened he barely remembered his parents. Like old photographs, with every passing year they grew fainter and fainter in his mind.

Hearing the children's laughter in the park brought forth one such memory. His mother must have taken him to play at a park when he was young, like these children. He played it back in his mind, like an old film–the sun shining down behind his mother, partially obscuring her and practically blinding him when he looked up at her. She was smiling down at him and her lips were moving. _"Do you want mama to push you on the swings, Edward?"_

And then, the rush of the air around him as he hurtled back and forth on the swing . . . _"Such a big boy! Look at how high you're going!"_

Again the sound of the children broke him out of his thoughts. A little boy had tripped and fallen, bursting instantly into tears. Edward frowned sadly. His own day at the park had also ended in tears. Going higher and higher on the swings had apparently frightened him too much and he started crying. His mother stopped the swing immediately and snatched him up in her arms_. "Oh sweetie, it's okay. Don't cry, mama's right here. There's nothing to be afraid of, I've got you."_ And she did–a feeling of warm comfort had enveloped him and he remembered feeling safe. She made the world right again.

That day at the park must have been shortly before the accident. She'd promised to always be there, but in a split second she was gone forever.

Edward felt his phone buzz again, and this time he checked it. Three messages from Bella:

_**Where are you?**_

_**Did I do or say something wrong?**_

_**Are you ok?**_

Moving slowly he typed a quick message back. He knew his leaving was abrupt and he still didn't want to be around anyone yet, but it wasn't right to make her worry either.

_**I'm fine. At the park. Don't worry.**_

_**~O~X~O~X~O~X~O~X~**_

Edward was four when his parents' car was hit head on by a drunk driver. After the accident, Edward had woken up in the hospital, his life irreversibly changed forever. His parents were gone and when he opened his mouth to ask for them, to ask why, to scream—no sound came out. In an instant the whole world had suddenly become a very scary and lonely place.

That first year was the most tumultuous for him. A lot of strangers visited him while he was in the hospital—social workers and therapists. Edward's father was an only child, his parents both long gone. His mother was estranged from her family, so there was no next of kin to take him in. Once Edward was officially released from the hospital, he became a ward of the state of Washington. He was moved in with a lady named Mrs. Cope. She was a widow and she fostered children who had experienced traumatic events. He lived with her for a year, and although he missed his parents terribly, Mrs. Cope was nurturing and took very good care of him. In the beginning it was rough; he had a lot of nightmares and it was frustrating trying to communicate with Mrs. Cope, but gradually he grew comfortable and happy living with her. Two to three times a week he visited with a child psychologist. She was a nice lady too, but even with her training in dealing with children and their psyches, Edward was a unique case. At four and a half, he hadn't learned to read or write yet. He could hear and understand most of what people said to him, but he had no means to communicate back to them.

Every time Edward had to go visit the child psychologist, he would wait patiently while she talked to Mrs. Cope for a while. Then she would come over to Edward and start talking to him. She would ask a lot of questions and often he would get frustrated and angry with her for not being able to understand him. She used a lot of picture cards to get responses from him to her questions—he would either shake his head in agreement or disagreement with the card or she would hold several up and he would point to one. Often she would draw on a chalkboard. His favorite visits were the ones where she wouldn't badger him; she would instead just play a game with him. Of course the games were another tool of his therapy, but he was just a little boy so he didn't know the significance. He just knew he was having fun playing a game.

As the year wore on and the nightmares subsided, so too did his visits to the psychologist's office. Visits from his caseworker, Ms. Adams, started to increase until one day she came and took him away from Mrs. Cope. Again he was sad and confused and scared. He had thought he was going to stay forever with Mrs. Cope. Ms. Adams did her best to try and explain it to him—that now that he was "better" it was time to move on, so that another hurt child could be helped by Mrs. Cope's loving care. And, he was five now, which meant he had to be a big boy and go to school.

Behind the scenes, Ms. Adams, the child psychologist and others in the department of children services had been discussing his situation, not sure what exactly to do with him or how best to educate him. Would he be able to blend in and be successful at a normal public school? Maybe place him in with the special-ed students? But he was a bright kid, and mentally he didn't need a special-ed curriculum. Again, the problem came down to his lack of communication. After consulting with some educators as well, it was decided to ship Edward off to Vancouver, to the Washington School for the Deaf. Even though Edward wasn't deaf, the School for the Deaf would be able to teach him how to live with his disability, how to communicate through sign language and how to take care of himself in a speaking world.

And so, once again, Edward's world was thrown upside down. For the next few years he lived in various foster homes and went to the deaf school during the day. Edward was a very quiet, docile child but it was still hard to find foster families that wanted to keep him for extended periods of time. Finally, when he turned eight he was allowed to move into the residential dorms of the school. However, they only allowed students to live there during the school week, so for the weekends Edward was assigned to yet another foster home.

Even though he was young, he was becoming accustomed to this strange hodge-podge his life had become. It was still a lonely existence for him, though at school they taught him how to sign and it had been such an amazing high for him the first time he could actually "say" something and have another person actually understand him. He felt like the prison bars had finally been torn down.

But despite being able to sign now, he was still extremely isolated. Living 24/7 in the silent world of the deaf was hard on a hearing person. Some of the teachers weren't deaf and would occasionally speak to him, knowing he could hear, but he still went days without hearing another sound other than physical noises like footsteps and chairs scraping on the floor and forks scraping against empty plates.

He had no real friends because the rest of the deaf students shunned him. He might have not been able to speak but he could still hear, something they could not and that made him "different" and gave the other students a reason to be jealous of him.

On the weekends he went to a temporary foster home, one that usually housed kids in "transition." Those children who, for one reason or another, only needed a place to stay for a few days or a few weeks. The transition homes usually housed many other children, all at the same time. Since he would not be a "full-time" resident in the foster system, he could not take up space with a family that maybe only wanted to foster a single child or two permanently.

As he had problems with the deaf kids he went to school with during the week, it was also hard for him to get along with the foster kids he was around on the weekends. They too, often made fun of him. Now that he could write, it made it a little easier to "talk" to them but they still called him "weird" and a "freak." His first crush and sexual experience was at sixteen with another girl staying at the foster home, Tanya—but he later overheard her and a couple of the other kids talking and laughing about him. Turned out it had all just been part of a dare for her, to "de-flower the handicapped kid."

And so, he spent most of his childhood stuck between two worlds, never really belonging in either. During the week he did what he had to do to survive in the deaf world, and on the weekends he did the same in the speaking world.

One thing he clung to, as an escape, was music. Being a school for the deaf, there really weren't any music classes or musical instruments around. But in a corner of the arts room there was one old, but still playable, piano. It was only used on occasion to teach kids how to feel and interpret vibration. Edward had only been at the school a few months when curiosity got the better of him, and on one particularly lonely day, Edward snuck into the arts room and sat down at the piano. He started hitting random keys, none of them making any sense of course, but being able to make "noise" from the piano excited him. His face lit up in a big smile, something he hadn't done in a very long time. Ready to punish whoever was sneaking around and making such racket, the arts teacher, Mr. Gold, caught him. But as soon he saw the look on Edward's face, his anger softened.

Mr. Gold began giving lessons to Edward when they had free time. Not only was Edward a quick learner, but it brought him such joy. One day Mr. Gold gave Edward a small radio and some headphones, and he beamed so big you'd have thought he was just given a precious piece of gold. Edward listened constantly to his radio—to every style and type of music he came across the dial, soaking up everything he could.

He still had a special connection with the piano though. For him it became a way of communicating without needing words. Eventually he outgrew what Mr. Gold could teach him, so he took Edward to a local piano teacher, Mrs. Johnson. Edward obviously didn't have money for lessons, but when she saw how talented he was, she agreed to see him once a week, in between her other students.

When Edward turned fifteen, he tried to talk Ms. Adams (who was still required to check in with him periodically, to see how he was doing and to see how the foster family was treating him) into letting him transfer to a regular public, hearing school. She didn't feel it was in his best interest, because of all the obstacles he faced—he would need a permanent full-time residence, foster family or adoptive; and he would need extra help from the public school teachers, who were already stretched to their limits as it was. Since he was still a minor, he had no say in the matter—the state was his legal guardian and they controlled what happened to him. And whatever Ms. Adams recommended was what happened.

Edward was frustrated but resigned himself to the fact that he was stuck. Instead he decided to do his best to follow the system, do his schoolwork and be the model student. He would bide his time until he was old enough to be on his own.

In the foster system, once children turned eighteen, they were considered adults and no longer a ward of the state. The closer that day got for him, the more Edward counted down the days. He managed to get a part-time job at a library and he started saving up some money. The day of his eighteenth birthday, he packed all of his stuff up from his room at the deaf school and walked out the door.

The school year was only half over, and the state would have continued giving him money to live on if he stayed to finish the school year, but Edward refused to stay a day longer than he had to. Ms. Adams helped him get set up in a cheap apartment and then with one signature on a piece of paper, it was all over.

Edward was now alone, living on his own, for the first time in his life. His first night in his apartment was both scary and exhilarating. He finally felt like he was starting his life on his own terms. Whatever happened to him from now on was all going to be the result of his own actions.

He had gotten looks of sympathy and pity from his teachers, even from Ms. Adams. He knew they didn't think he could survive on his own. Even though they were taught life skills at the deaf school, it was still assumed that, with such a disability, a support system was needed for an individual to survive in the real world. Edward had no one. If he got into a major problem he knew he could probably call Ms. Adams or Mr. Gold . . . but for the day-to-day stuff, he had no one to turn to.

Edward was fiercely independent and didn't want to lean on anyone anyway. He did struggle a bit at first, learning to interact in the speaking world, and he soon learned there would always be frustrations. It was just something he was going to have to learn to live with—interacting with bank tellers, grocery store clerks, waitresses, etc. He learned that if he frequented the same places, they got to know him as a regular customer and most people would be patient with him. The ones who weren't, he learned to avoid.

Finding a job was a bit harder. He needed a second job to help pay for his apartment, but as soon as an employer would find out he couldn't speak, they would often brush him off, or would just come right out and tell him he couldn't do the job and that they needed someone who could speak. He refused to give up though, and he finally managed to get a night job stocking at the grocery store.

Once his financial needs were taken care of, he turned his attention back to his education. He took and passed the GED easily, then started investigating colleges. He already knew he wanted to study music. But again, he had the problem of needing to find professors and a school that would take him. He applied to several nearby colleges, getting in to all of them easily, based on his academics. Passing the audition for the music programs at each school, however, was a different matter.

All of the professors thought he was incredibly talented. But after they found out he couldn't speak, after trying to conduct an interview with him and waiting while he would write his answers . . . he would look in their eyes and know they didn't want him. They either wouldn't meet his eyes or if they did look at him, it was with pity and doubt.

He almost didn't want to go to the audition at UW, sure of another rejection. But in the end, he forced himself to go. He had to meet with a panel of three professors. When he was done playing his chosen selections, he faced them, steeling himself for the usual reactions. The three professors were reviewing his paperwork and finally the one in the middle looked up at him and smiled. He started by introducing the other two professors first, and then himself.

". . . And I'm Dr. Carlisle Cullen, head of the Piano Studies department of the Music program here at UW. So tell me Mr. Masen, how long have you been playing the piano?"

Edward wrote his answer on his notebook and then showed them. Dr. Cullen's eyebrows furrowed in confusion.

"Mr. Masen, your transcript says you attended the deaf school?"

Edward nodded.

"So I assume you must know ASL?"

Dumbfounded, Edward nodded again, slower this time.

And then Dr. Cullen smiled again. "Well then please, feel free to sign if you're more comfortable. I know ASL, I can translate for the others."

Now it was Edward's turn to stare in shock . . . and excitement.

The rest of the interview flew by and two weeks later Edward received a letter welcoming him to the University of Washington's music program . . . with a full scholarship.

That day was the best day of his entire life. And every day after that. He was really doing it; he was living successfully in the speaking world—on his own.

Now his only sad days were the dreaded holidays—annual reminders that he still had no parents, no family, no real home.

_**~O~X~O~X~O~X~O~X~**_

"Edward?"

Edward opened his eyes and looked up, blinking to bring himself out of his memories. She was looking down at him with questions and concern in her eyes.

Bella had never seen Edward look so . . . blank. It scared her. Was he mad? Sad? Had she done something wrong? Not knowing what to do or say, she ended up sitting down next to him on the bench, quietly watching him, waiting until he was ready to talk.

"_Momma, momma, Happy Momma Day!" _A little girl ran on unsteady legs to her mother, who was sitting on another bench across the park. Her mother lifted her high in the air, smiling broadly at her, before pulling the little girl to her in a big hug.

As Bella watched Edward staring at the mother and child, with a slight wince on his face, it suddenly clicked for her. She remembered the night at the diner when Edward had told her about his life. She'd had to fight to keep away the tears of sympathy and sadness for him. He seemed okay with his lot in life, said he had accepted things. But even still, a holiday like Mother's Day had to be hard on him.

Bella wanted to kick herself for not realizing sooner that this was probably an emotional day for him. That he was probably mourning and missing his own mother.

She put her arm around him and rubbed slow soothing circles on his back, leaning her head on his shoulder. She still said nothing, just let her actions and her touch quietly let him know that she was there. Eventually she felt his shoulders relax as he leaned into her and rested his head on top of hers. Not long after, she felt him reaching for her other hand, entwining their fingers together tightly.

They sat there quietly for quite a while, watching the kids and the families play.

As they sat, their little intimate bubble was broken by a small nerf ball that bounced off Bella's arm, hit the seat of the bench, and then disappeared into the gap between the seat and back of the bench.

A small boy with ginger hair, much like the color of Edward's own, toddled over. He stopped short, a confused look on his face, as he looked at them and then at the bench. He bent down completely in half and almost falling over, to search under the bench. He finally spied the ball but couldn't reach it. He reached his little arm as far as he could under the bench, grunting frustratingly as he clearly came up short of his goal. His face scrunched up and he was about two seconds away from bursting into tears when Bella jumped in. She scooted down to the end of the bench and started talking to him soothingly, asking him if he needed help getting his ball. He stood up, still distressed and looking at Bella warily, his little mind clearly trying to figure out if he should trust her. But then his pouty lip stopped quivering and suddenly he was pointing and babbling a mile a minute about his ball. Bella chuckled and got up to find it. Walking around to the back of the bench she bent down and easily retrieved it. She held it behind her back for a few seconds before she grinned widely and pulled it out to show him that she had it. He started jumping up and down and yelling excitedly, stretching out his arms. But as Bella bent down on her knee to hand him his ball he surprised her by throwing his arms around her and giving her a big hug.

Edward watched the whole exchange, smiling for the first time since he'd sat down. The exuberance of youth, the little boy's only care in the world being a lost ball. But as he watched Bella's face light up, as he watched her whole interaction with the boy—how gentle and attentive she was to him, how she got him to trust her, how she exuded such joy—a warmth began to spread in him, bringing him back to life from the darkness he'd been feeling all day. He already knew he wanted Bella forever, and as he watched her with the little boy, he felt like he was being given a glimpse into his future. Bella, holding their child, comforting him and laughing with him. For all of his life, Edward had mourned for the family he didn't have, and there was nothing he could do about that—the past could never be changed. But suddenly he realized that his future could be different. He didn't have to be alone anymore—he could have a home, he could have a family. He could be whole again.

The little boy's mother had come over and had been standing by, watching Bella and her son. The little boy began pulling on his mom's arm and telling her about "the nice lady who got his ball for him." Bella and the mom had a quick, amiable conversation, the mother thanking Bella before turning to go back to where the little boy's father was waiting for them. Everyone was all smiles and happy and Edward wanted that for himself. He never thought he could have that but now that he'd found Bella, he knew the possibilities were limitless.

As Bella returned to sit next to him, she looked into his eyes, still with that beautiful smile on her face. He wrapped his arms around her so quickly he startled her and then he kissed her exuberantly, with his new epiphany bursting out of him and pouring into her lips.

She pulled back, looking at him with surprise on her face.

_Thank you_, he signed to her.

She tilted her head. "For what?"

_For coming to find me. For being patient with me. _

Bella reached up and gently touched his face. "I'm just sorry I didn't think about it sooner, about what day it was. Are you okay?"

_I am now. _

He stood up and held out his hand to her. _Let's go home_.

For Edward that word now held more meaning than Bella realized. He now knew he had a home and where it was—his home was Bella.

Edward never let go of Bella the whole way back to her apartment. His grip on her hand was strong and restless, his thumb constantly rubbing over hers, his whole hand squeezing hers every few seconds. He needed to feel the connection with her. And when they walked in the door and he pulled her directly into the bedroom with him, she let him. Whatever he needed, whatever she could give him, was more important than a few hours of studying.

He needed to touch, to feel, to kiss, every inch of her body; he needed to feel the softness and heat of her skin against his. She was real, this moment was real and he wanted to revel in it with every sense he had.

They both were slow and unhurried, needful yet patient, intense and yet gentle, expressing their love for each other in what they offered to one other. When he finally slid inside her and she accepted all of him willingly, he paused, trying to freeze this moment in his memory. His heart felt like it might burst with a love and happiness that was so deeply buried he hadn't known it was even there. But it had been there, all along . . . waiting for her to bring it to life.

As she gave all of herself to him, he wanted to give all of himself to her. She was clutching and stroking and crying out for him. He moved, she moved, they melded into each other, becoming one.

_**~O~X~O~X~O~X~O~X~**_

They had fallen asleep, still entwined, Edward wrapped protectively around her. When Bella awoke, it was later in the day, the room bathed in a warm orange from the setting sun outside. She twisted herself around so that she was facing Edward, still asleep. She stroked his hair and lightly drew her thumb across his cheek. She'd been so worried earlier when he had left so abruptly and then when he wouldn't answer her text messages. When he finally did, his response still didn't ease her concerns. She tried studying but she just kept reading the same sentence over and over. Something was wrong with him, she felt it strongly and she needed to see if he was okay. So she finally decided to go to the park. She hoped he wouldn't be mad at her for intruding. When she saw him, his expressionless face scared her—she'd never seen him so blank. She finally decided to just sit with him and try to comfort him, to wait until he was ready to talk. She was encouraged when she felt him relax. And then, after she helped an adorable little boy with his ball, a change seemed to come over Edward. He finally cracked a smile and kissed her so intensely. As they walked back she felt something intense crackling through him. He was holding onto her hand and she knew he couldn't let go. She could feel in him that he needed her and she was just glad she was there. Their lovemaking was intense and amazing and slow, and she could feel the need from him, the need to be as close to her as possible.

She was saddened that he had lived with so much loss in his life. To never have grown up with out a mother or father or a family, to be so alone at such a young age . . . even though she didn't know him for all the years he was growing up, she was so proud and amazed at the man he had become. So many in his situation would have grown up cold and bitter and angry, but instead he was so loving and gentle and strong.

He stirred and opened his eyes. As they stared into hers she still saw a weariness in them but the brightness was there on the edges, trying to work its way back. Her Edward was still in there.

He shifted and laid his head on her stomach. She stayed there with him, continuing to run her fingers through his hair soothingly. Eventually she tried to move him gently so she could get up. He too started to sit up, throwing his whole arm around her waist as if to stop her. She saw the anxiousness in his eyes and she spoke quickly to reassure him.

"I'm not going anywhere baby, I'm just going to go order us some takeout. You haven't eaten all day, you have to be starved. I'll be back I promise." She stroked his face and he smiled sheepishly at her.

They never left the bed, eating and lazing away the rest of the evening together, relaxing, talking and watching a movie. As they finally settled back down to sleep for the night, she looked into his eyes. He was still sticking close to her but he seemed much calmer, much more content than he was earlier.

"I'm so sorry baby."

_For what?_ he questioned.

"For the rough day you had, for how much you've had to go through . . ."

He immediately put his finger to her lips to stop her.

_I'm the one who should be apologizing, for leaving earlier. And as for the past, well . . . I suddenly realized today that I don't need to mourn for something I don't have anymore._

_Because I'm not alone anymore . . . I have you._

She smiled up at him and traced his lips lightly with her fingertips.

"You do," she whispered. "Always."

_**~O~X~O~X~O~X~O~X~**_


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: I have to sincerely apologize for how long it has been since the last update to this story. I never intended for it to be so long but sometimes important RL "stuff" takes over and has to be dealt with. If you still have this on alert, I thank you for hanging in there!**

**Big thanks and hugs to urmistaken70 for pre-reading! :)**

* * *

Edward smiled as he clicked his iPhone's alarm app, turning the beeping off. He closed his music folder, tapping it once on top of the piano to straighten the papers inside before stuffing it into his backpack. Bella was at the library with one of her study groups and he had decided to hang out at the music building and practice while she studied. It was going to be late when she finished and he didn't want her walking home alone. She had protested, but he refused to budge on the matter. He should have just enough time to make it over to the library and be waiting for her when she got out.

He was just walking out the door into the cool night air when his phone beeped again, this time signaling a text message. It was Bella.

**Where r u?**

_**Leaving music bldg. now, be there in 10.**_

**Don't bother. Finished early. Meet me at the park instead.**

Edward shook his head, frowning at her message. Emmett had called Bella stubborn the first night Edward met her at the diner and he certainly was right. She couldn't wait just ten extra minutes until he got there, especially when she knew he was coming to meet her. She hated to inconvenience anyone and she thought Edward was being overprotective.

_**Fine. But be careful.**_

**Of course. xoxo. c u soon.**

Edward got to the park quickly and sat down on their usual bench to wait on her. His mouth twitched upward into a smile, remembering the last time they'd been here. It was just a few weeks ago, on Mother's Day. So many emotions, so many memories were running through him that day. He had wanted to be alone; he had wanted to wallow. But Bella had shown up and sat there quietly with him, not saying a word, just being the strength and the calm that he hadn't known he needed. For the first time he had allowed himself to see the future, a future with her in it.

Of course, she had always been more certain about the two of them than he was. She never had doubts about her feelings for him or the idea of them as a couple. Which is why, a week later, she had asked if he wanted to move in together. She had all these arguments ready to convince him—it was more economical, it would save time (no more running back and forth between each other's apartments)—but she didn't need them. He was over the moon at the idea, and as she said, it did make sense. They rarely spent any time apart so why waste money on two apartments?

He remembered his surprise when she asked, and the heavy beating of his heart as her words sunk in. This was big. He tried to be rational and think this through, but his heart was already speaking the answer for him.

The look on her face when he said yes was etched in his memory—first a look of relief, and then that beautiful smile that lit up his world.

They'd spent Sunday morning culling through the "apartment for rent" listings, trying to decipher the descriptions—was "cozy" really cozy or was it just a euphemism for "small and cramped"—and bantering back and forth over the merits of this apartment versus that one. Bella made some calls and they had even gone and viewed a couple that afternoon. Neither one was suitable for different reasons, but it was a start at least. A start to their life together.

School was over in one more week and then they would be able to devote all of their time to apartment hunting, packing and moving. He broke out into a big grin every time he thought about it.

Caught up in his thoughts about their future, Edward didn't realize how many minutes had passed while he had been sitting at the park. He glanced down at his phone for the time; _Bella should have been here by now,_ he thought to himself, frowning in concern.

He looked across the park, in the direction she should be coming from. Relieved when he saw her, he smiled and waved when he caught her eye.

A big smile spread over Bella's face, as she waved back at him. She had her ear buds in, listening to her iPod as she always did when she walked across campus. Spotting Edward, she immediately started digging into her bag for the iPod, to shut it off. Her steps slowed as she continued searching distractedly in her bag.

Screeching tires and loud rap music with a booming bass tore through the still night air as a beat-up van turned the corner too fast, swerving erratically.

Edward's smile wilted as the air left his body. He opened his mouth, on instinct, to scream, to warn Bella.

But of course, no sound came out.

His arms waved frantically, fists punching the air. As his body grew hot and cold with adrenaline, time suddenly crawled to a standstill, everything in slow motion, like the movies.

Except this was no movie.

He heard her scream.

He heard the dull thud.

The obnoxious bass thumping faded away as the van disappeared down the street . . . leaving only eerie black stillness in the air.

And Bella's crumpled body on the street.

Edward's heart was pounding out of his chest as he took off at a full run to get to her. He may not have had a voice, but inside he was screaming—_NO! no, no, no, no . . . God, please…_

_Let her be okay. _

Edward lost all breath as he stopped short in front of her, his muscles frozen.

She looked like a rag doll that someone had just tossed away without a second thought, her body twisted and still. One leg and arm were twisted under her at odd angles. And there was blood . . . so much blood.

Edward's legs gave out and he fell to the ground next to her.

_NO, no, no . . . Bella, Bella . . . Oh Bella!_

His lips moved but of course she would never hear him.

_Please baby . . . please wake up! Please wake up for me, baby. Oh God . . ._

Tears streamed down his face as he reached out to touch her. His hand shook as he gently placed his palm on her cheek. Her skin felt cool but he also felt a faint puff of warm air . . . which meant she was breathing, at least.

Edward sent a thanks to God and let out a relieved breath. But then he tilted her head slightly and found the source of the blood. One side of her face was scraped up from hitting the rough pavement, and up near her forehead was a deep gash. Dark maroon blood ran down her face and matted her hair. Her beautiful, beautiful hair . . .

Edward stroked the strands of hair around her injury and shook as sobs overtook him. He leaned over her, laying his cheek against the other half of her face, delicately trying to put his arms around her. He wanted to crush her body to his, to will her to feel him, to will her to hear him.

_Please Bella, please wake up . . . open your eyes for me! Come on baby, fight . . . please don't leave me . . ._

_Let her be okay._

Afraid of hurting her further, Edward pulled away and gazed down at her. She looked so lifeless, so fragile. She had to be okay. He was going to make sure she was okay.

He took a breath and swiped at his eyes. With shaky hands, he grabbed his phone and without thinking, hit 9-1-1.

"9-1-1, what's your emergency?"

_Bella . . . my Bella . . . is hurt._

"I repeat, this is 9-1-1. What's your emergency?"

_She was hit . . . she's bleeding . . . please hurry!_

"Hello, is anyone there?

_YES damn it I'm here! _Edward frustratingly punched his phone, ending the call. No matter how much his brain screamed at the person on the other end of the phone, no words were going to come out. He knew better, but his mind was scrambled right now and 9-1-1 was the first thing he thought of. It's what every normal speaking person would have done.

He started fiddling with the phone again; he knew he had an app on there for making calls, or translating calls . . . something that surely could connect him to the help he needed for Bella. His fingers stabbed and swiped at the screen trying to find it. Bella had even downloaded it for him, but he'd never used it yet.

Finally finding it, he opened it but there were directions to read and screens to click through and a password to set up while minute after wasted minute was passing for Bella.

Edward flung the phone away from him in frustration, the cracking of plastic and metal against the pavement echoing in the stillness. He turned back to Bella, who still lay motionless. He touched her cheek again, and bent over her, tears flowing.

He would have to go get help.

But he couldn't leave her. What if she woke up while he was gone? She'd be cold and alone and in pain. Or worse . . . what if . . . what if she didn't wake . . . _No!_

_Let her be okay._

It felt like hours that he sat there on the cold asphalt, cradling her body to him, warring with himself over what he should do. In reality it was only minutes, but they were the longest minutes of his life.

He was so focused on Bella that he didn't hear the approaching voices until they were only a few feet away.

"Oh my God!"

"Hey dude, are you okay? Whoa! What happened, man?"

"Ang, call 911. Hey, buddy . . . hey . . . ."

Edward's whole body jerked at the tug on his shoulder.

"It's okay, buddy . . . everything's going to be okay . . . ."

He turned to see two female students on the other side of the street, huddled together around a cell phone, one of them speaking into it. Backing slowly away from him with their hands up were two male students. They looked wary, and Edward couldn't understand why . . . until he realized how he must look. Crying and crazed, with blood streaked on his hands and his clothes, leaning over a bloody, mangled body. Good God, they probably thought _he_ was the one who hurt her. He started moving his hands, signing desperately, telling them what had happened. Although, of course, they wouldn't be able to understand. But it was the only way he could try to communicate.

"What's he doing?" one of the boys asked.

"He's . . . I think he's using sign language," the blonde girl said. "He must be deaf?"

The four of them just stared at each other blankly and then back at Edward. He started furiously making writing motions, trying to get them to give him something to write on. His actions were futile, though, as sirens began wailing in the distance and chaos descended.

Screeching tires, screaming sirens, red flashing lights. Men and women in black uniforms, voices yelling out commands to each other.

Strong arms grabbed his and lifted him roughly away from Bella's side.

_No!_

He pushed and pulled violently against his captors, fighting to break free, but it only made them tighten their vice-like hold on him.

_Bella! _

"She's breathing! Pulse is strong. Significant trauma to the head. Fractured arm and leg. Get the neck brace and back board, stat."

_Please help her . . ._

The arms holding him shoved him farther away from Bella until he felt something hard digging into his back. Suddenly his vision was completely obliterated by two black shirts and shiny badges. The officers were still restraining him against their car but had moved in front of him, blocking his view of Bella and the EMTs.

"Sir, who is that lady? Is she a family member? Your girlfriend? What's your name? What the hell happened here tonight? Did you get angry with her? Were you trying to hurt her?"

As their accusations swirled around him, Edward wasn't even paying attention. He just wanted to see Bella. He continued to struggle against the officers, trying to see around them to see what the paramedics were doing to Bella.

"Sir! Sir! Are you refusing to answer our questions?"

"I think he's deaf." The blonde girl again, calling to the officers from across the street where they were being questioned by another uniformed policeman.

At her words, the officers turned their attention and their grip away from Edward long enough for him to finally see Bella, strapped to a stretcher and being loaded into the emergency squad vehicle. The doors slammed shut behind her, the sirens started screaming again and she was gone.

The struggle left Edward's body and his muscles immediately went lax, slumping against the police car for support. His heart plummeted into his burning, ripped-out stomach as he hung his head and let the tears flow silently.

_Let her be okay._

.

.

.

.

.

.

It would be two hours before Edward was finally able to see Bella again, two hours that felt like a lifetime to him.

The police officers had to take him into the station because one of the officers there knew sign language and was able to interpret for Edward. His arms, hands, and fingers felt so heavy; hell his whole body felt heavy. It took great effort, but he was finally able to get his entire story out and answer all of their questions about what had happened. He gave a fair description of the van but there were probably a thousand nondescript brown vans in the city like the one that had hit Bella. He hadn't been able to get any license plate information and everything had happened so fast, he hadn't noticed anything else unusual about the car, no telltale markings or bumper stickers. He was the only witness, but they finally believed him and let him go. A uniformed officer drove him to the hospital where they had taken Bella, and escorted him inside, letting the doctors and nurses know that Edward couldn't speak.

When one of the nurses stated that medical information could only be given out to family members of the patient, Edward nearly jumped over the desk and attacked her himself. But as the police officer explained who Edward was and what had happened, the head nurse took sympathy on him and overruled the younger nurse, based on the fact that none of Bella's immediate family was there yet.

Bella's leg and arm were both broken, but with time should heal fine. The leg might need a rod or pin; the orthopedic specialist would look at it tomorrow. Her ribs were pretty bruised, but there were no fractures and no internal injuries. She had hit her head pretty hard, but initial tests showed that there should be no major damage. However, she still hadn't woken up and the doctors had no idea how long she would be out. The nurse explained that this was not uncommon after such a trauma as Bella had just been through. She said it was the body's natural way of forcing itself to rest and heal. Plus, Bella had been sedated and given some pain medication to keep her calm. All in all, she said Bella was a very lucky girl.

The nurse gave Edward Bella's room number and pointed him in the right direction. His eyes were heavy, his head was aching and fuzzy with exhaustion, and the hallway he stared down was so long. But it was Bella—he would travel a hundred miles in the desert to get back to her, to see her with his own eyes.

The whole car ride from the police station, he had been so gripped with fear; not knowing what he would find when he got to the hospital.

_Let her be okay. _

The door to her room was closed with only a small, narrow window allowing a view to what was on the other side. Without looking, without thinking, Edward twisted the doorknob and rushed into the room.

His whole body stopped and his legs shook, almost buckling under him.

_Oh my beautiful Bella . . ._

She was lying quiet in the bed, her dark hair stark against her pale skin and the pale white hospital sheets. She was hooked up to a couple of machines, and her left arm and leg were immobilized in temporary braces. A large white bandage covered an entire half of her forehead. Her eyes were closed and the only movement was the slight rise and fall of her chest as she struggled for each breath.

His own breath stuck in his chest and his heart raced. He stood there for an eternity until he finally felt himself moving forward to her bedside. His hand shook as he reached out and gently brushed his fingertips across her cheek.

_Bella? I'm here . . . I'm here now. _

There was no movement, no reaction from her. His eyes welled up.

_Please, love . . . please wake up._

Still nothing.

His hand moved down to her hand, curling his fingers tightly around hers. He squeezed gently several times, hoping she would feel the movement and open her eyes . . . but again there was no reaction.

_Bella, I'm so sorry. Please . . . squeeze my hand, open your eyes for me baby. _

_I'm here . . . Please come back to me._

The tears flowed down his face. He thought for sure . . . if she knew he was here . . . she would respond, with a twitch, a squeeze . . . something, anything that would let him know she knew it was him.

And yet . . . nothing. But then, why _should _she respond to him now? He was too late. He had failed her. He couldn't warn her. He couldn't stop the van. He couldn't call for help. He'd just sat there . . . useless, while she lay hurt. He hadn't even been able to be with her in the ambulance as she was taken away. She had probably been scared and hurt and alone . . . and he wasn't there.

Oh why hadn't he told her to stay at the library? It was only a matter of a mere ten minutes from the music building to the library. Why couldn't she have waited? He shouldn't have gone to the music building at all, he should have went with her to the library, stayed there and waited while she studied. Then she wouldn't have been alone; she wouldn't have gotten hit.

It was all his fault. He wasn't there. He'd tried, he didn't want her walking home alone so that was why he waited on campus for her . . . but it hadn't been enough.

And now he _was_ here for her, with her, and was still helpless to do anything to save her. All he could do was watch and wait for her to wake up. _If_ she woke up. No matter what the doctors said, he wouldn't believe she was _really_ okay until he saw her eyes open.

His chest was in crushing pain, aching for her. Although he knew he had no right to, he bent towards her and brushed his lips over hers, as gentle and as lovingly as he could. But her lips were not his Bella's lips. They were cool and antiseptic tasting. And non-moving. He pressed again, a bit more forcefully.

As he pulled away, her eyes were still closed. Even his kiss, his kiss that never failed to bring heady, fiery reactions from her . . . could not get through the lifeless fog she was trapped in.

His head rested on the cold chrome of her bed rail, tears dripping silently, landing on his shoes and the hard tile floor below.

The sound of the door opening and squeaky footsteps brought him out of his grief.

The young nurse stopped in her tracks, her eyes widening at Edward's face. "I'm sorry, sir . . . I have to check her vitals and her IV . . . ."

Edward just shook his head to indicate it was okay. He swiped at his eyes with his hands as he got up and headed toward the doorway. He turned one more time and looked back at Bella again, sadly, before leaving her in the care of the nurse.

_Let her be okay_.

_**~O~X~O~X~O~X~O~X~**_

"_Ed . . . Ed watch out!" His mother's voice . . . then she screamed. Ear-splitting screams that seemed to go on forever. Bright light blinding him. Screeching tires._

"_Elizabeth!" His father calling out. Sounds of metal crunching. The car bouncing around like one of his soft bouncy balls. Edward remembered turning upside down and around and upside down again before finally the car bounced to a stop, right-side up. He had scrunched his eyes tightly shut during the blinding light and all of the bouncing. Once everything had settled and it was quiet again, he carefully opened his eyes. His parents were silent, his father's head leaning out the glassless driver's side window. His mother was slumped against her passenger side seat, all he could see from the backseat was some of her pretty red hair peeking around the headrest and her arm that had come to rest on the console between the front seats. She was motionless and there was blood covering her arm._

_Edward remembered the icy fear he felt, the confusion. He tried to move but something heavy was holding him down. When he tried to move his head something sharp was scratching at his neck. He still flailed his arms and struggled to move, even though it was fruitless. He needed to wake his Mama up, he didn't understand how she could have gone to sleep with all of the noise._

"_Mama! Daddy! Mama! Wake up!" She wasn't responding. Didn't she hear him?_

_He started screaming for help, for anyone to help his mama and his daddy. Why wasn't anyone coming?_

_And then he realized . . . when he opened his mouth, no sound was coming out. He was forming the words in his mind and his lips were moving . . . but there was nothing but silence. He was helpless to do anything to help his parents and they had died. Now, again he was in a situation where someone he loved needed his help and he had been unable to help her . . . ._

_**~O~X~O~X~O~X~O~X~**_

Heavy footsteps running down the hall roused Edward, and his head snapped up. When his eyes focused finally, he found himself looking into Bella's father's eyes. Charlie's brow was furrowed and his mouth was pinched into a tight line. He paused briefly in his glance at Edward but said nothing, instead rushing into Bella's room. Edward didn't need to hear Charlie's words, that look in his eyes said it all. _What did you do to my baby girl? You promised to take care of her. You said you loved her. Why didn't you protect her? You lied. You let her get hurt. You couldn't help her._

Edward's heart started pounding so hard it hurt, and he couldn't breathe. He jumped up and tore off down the hall. He just had to get away, just for a moment. He turned down a hallway and found an open doorway with a sign above it—"Surgery Waiting Room." He peered in and saw that it was completely empty.

Slowly he walked in and sat down in one of the plush chairs. He bent over, his head in his hands, his fingers gripping his hair tightly. After many minutes, his breathing finally started to settle down.

Raising his head, he looked blankly around the room, searching for something, anything else to focus on for the moment. A distraction.

On the wall directly across from him was a large framed painting, well, a print of a painting. It caught his eye because it felt familiar and yet sad at the same time. He got up to get a better look at it. _Nighthawks by Edward Hopper_, read the tag on the wall next to the frame. It was a painting of a diner, so no surprise that it looked familiar. In fact, it reminded him very much of Emmett's. Except that it was so . . . empty and cold. The street outside the diner was dark and empty. And even though there was a lot of light inside the diner, it was almost too bright and garish; it gave the scene no warmth. There were only four people in the diner: a man with his back to the window, an employee of the diner working behind the counter, and then on the side of the counter facing the viewer were a man and a woman. The man and the woman were not looking at each other but were obviously together by how close they sat.

Edward began to wonder about the people in the painting. Why were they not looking at each other, why did they seem so detached from each other? What had made them come into the diner and why weren't they interacting with each other?

The more he continued to stare at the people, the more he began to imagine them alive, moving and talking. The woman's red hair darkened to brown, like Bella's. She turned to the man sitting next to her, a smile slowly animating her beautiful face. The man said something to her and she broke out into laughter then. She tipped her head forward intimately toward the man. He reached up with his finger, nudging her even closer until their lips met, in a gentle, tender, kiss.

As they pulled apart, her eyes opened languidly and she sighed, a smile still on her face. Edward, trapped working behind the counter, watched her, watched the happiness shining from her eyes. He stood there, torn between sorrow and happiness as Bella and the man continued to converse and laugh and smile comfortably. Part of his heart was broken at seeing her with someone else, but another part of his heart was happy to see her happy and content and loved. As she should be, as she deserved to be by a normal, speaking man. A man who could take care of her in ways he could not. In the painting she ignored Edward, as if he wasn't there, as if he didn't even exist. Because in this alternate universe he was imagining, he _didn't_ exist. He was no one to her, merely the guy working behind the counter.

Edward rubbed both of his hands over his tired eyes, surprised to be wiping away a few wet tears as well.

When he looked up again at the painting, it was back to a still life of four people forever frozen in time. They were no longer talking to each other and the woman's hair was back to fiery red.

He sighed loudly. He was so exhausted he was hallucinating. But it had felt so real.

_**~O~X~O~X~O~X~O~X~**_

Edward sat back down for a while, but couldn't stay still, he was restless to get back and find out how Bella was doing. In spite of the possibility of losing his life by Charlie's hand.

As he approached Bella's room, he saw that the hallway was now more crowded. No sign of Charlie, but Billy Black was there, and Sam, from the reservation.

There were two chairs left, one next to Billy and one several feet away. Edward chose the one farthest away, not sure how welcomed he would be by the two men.

His head slightly ducked down, as if he could hide himself that way, he glanced cautiously at Billy. Amazingly, he saw only compassion and concern on the older man's face. And a kind smile focused on him.

Billy gestured to the chair next to him. "You can sit next to me Edward, I promise I don't bite."

Fumbling, Edward got up and moved, still unsure that he shouldn't have stayed where he was, but eased slightly by the man's welcoming appearance.

Pulling a note pad that the nurses had given him from his pocket, he wrote his response to Billy.

_Charlie's the one I'm worried about. Although I certainly deserve anything he would do to me._

Billy chuckled but then tilted his head as he looked at Edward sadly. "I've known Charlie for a long time, Edward, we've been friends since we were younger pups. He's gruff and brash, but his bark is far worse than his bite, believe me. Right now, Charlie is out of his mind with worry about Bella; he can't think of anything but the fact that his precious little girl is lying in that room hurting. But he would never hurt you, Edward.

And you certainly shouldn't say you deserve to be hurt or punished, Edward. It wasn't your fault."

_You don't know, you weren't there. I couldn't do anything to help her._ Edward fought back more tears, and swallowed hard against the lump in his throat as he forced himself to write the words.

Billy reached over and placed his hand on Edward's shoulder in a comforting gesture.

"Son, you are helping her, you are her healer, she needs you. The spirits show it to be so. She draws from your light. She will be fine, I promise. Because she has you."

Edward could only shake his head. Billy was just trying to placate him, to make him feel better. But he knew the real truth.

A few more hours passed. Charlie never left Bella's room and Edward stayed in the hall. Billy and Sam remained there as well. Billy had come because Charlie had been there for him through everything he'd had to deal with Jacob's death. And now Billy was going to stay and be there for him, no matter how long it took for Bella to wake up. Sam had driven Billy up from the reservation.

Billy tried to get Edward to go get something to eat or go lay down on one of the waiting room sofas, but Edward refused. He would keep nodding off ever so often but would always snap back awake, physically refusing to let his body succumb to sleep.

Billy and Sam finally headed down to the cafeteria to get some coffee and breakfast for everyone. Edward was nodding off again when Bella's door banged open, jerking him upright immediately. Charlie leaned out and yelled down the hall for the nurses, the doctors, anyone who was in earshot.

Edward's heart thumped hard in his chest.

Bella was awake.

The door slammed shut and Edward sat there for a moment, his whole body shaking. She was awake. Finally. _Oh thank you God, thank you._

When he felt capable of it, Edward stood and walked slowly toward the door. He got close enough that he could see in through the small window, but stayed far enough back that he wouldn't be noticed.

Bella's eyes were open, her lips were moving. Edward exhaled for what felt like the first time all night. He had never seen a more beautiful sight.

She was looking over toward her father; they obviously were having a conversation. She started leaning her head up off the pillow and Charlie placed his hand on her forehead, obviously telling her to lie back and take it easy.

Edward smiled but it barely stretched across his face. Seeing her eyes and her mouth moving, talking silently, reminded him of the painting in the waiting room and the vision he had imagined. Of her life without him in it. Of how happy she had been. Of how happy she could be.

Billy said she needed him, that he was her healer. Well, she was awake now, she didn't need him anymore, not that he really believed Billy's words. And if she still needed healing then he knew what he could do to help her.

Edward touched his fingertips lightly to the glass and took another deep painful breath while he drank in the image of her, ingraining her into his memory.

_Let her be okay._

He let his fingers drop and he took a small step backward.

And then he turned silently, and walked away, down the long corridor and out the hospital doors.

* * *

**A/N: *****passes the tissues around* Hang in there, and have faith. :)**


	9. Chapter 9

**All copyright and trademarked items mentioned herein belong to their respective owners. The remaining content is all mine. No copying or reproduction of this work is permitted without my express written authorization.**

**As always, big thanks and hugs to urmistaken70 for pre-reading! :)**

* * *

_**Three months later**_

_Bella,_

_I'm so glad you are going to be okay._

_I love you . . . I'll always love you. But . . . I can't . . . we can't . . ._

_I should have known better, I'm so sorry._

_Please be safe._

_Edward_

Bella stared at the words again, and they still made no more sense to her than they did the other hundred times she'd read them.

It had been three months since the nurse had handed her the note in the hospital. When Bella had woken up after the accident, the first person she saw was Charlie, but the only person she wanted was Edward. She kept asking for him over and over until finally, her father stepped out of the room to get him. He came back, his jaw clenched, to tell her that Edward was nowhere to be found. Not entirely trusting her father, she continually asked every nurse or doctor or orderly who came into her room that night, but of course none of them knew who she was talking about. Everyone kept telling her to relax and get some rest, but she refused to go back to sleep until she'd seen Edward. Finally, the head nurse stopped in her room after one of the other nurses reported how agitated Bella was. She remembered Edward from when the police had brought him in, and she told Bella that she had seen him walk out the hospital doors several hours ago.

Bella quieted down after that, from shock and confusion more than anything. Everyone was happy, thinking she could rest now, but in reality she didn't because her mind was going a mile a minute. _Where had Edward gone? Was he okay? When was he coming back?_

_Please come back soon, Edward, I need you._

Her eyelids finally drifted shut from sheer exhaustion, but she still slept fitfully, seeing Edward's face in her dreams, waking to search the dark room only to find him not there.

The next day she had surgery on her leg to place a stabilizing pin in it while it healed. She spent most of the day in a groggy haze from the anesthesia. Every time she asked for Edward she got the same response—no one had seen him. Charlie ground his teeth tighter and his face got more and more red every time she asked someone about Edward so she finally stopped, to keep her father from going ballistic. He begrudgingly had accepted Edward as a part of Bella's life but now, with his disappearing act when she needed him most? Any gains Edward had made in Charlie's eyes were completely destroyed now.

The next morning a nurse had walked in with Bella's breakfast and the note. It seemed a young man had stopped in at the nurse's station in the middle of the night and handed one of the nurses the note with explicit written instructions to make sure Bella got it. And then he turned around and left again.

As Bella fingered the delicate paper, now soft and creased from much folding and unfolding, she remembered in detail the feelings that washed over her as she read those words for the first time. Her whole world crashed around her, or at least what had been her world up to that point. Her heart raced and her breathing got so shallow she nearly hyperventilated and they had to give her oxygen. Charlie had tried to take the note from her, to find out what had made her so upset, but she'd curled her fingers around it, crumpling it in her hand, refusing to let anyone take it from her. It was her last connection to Edward.

She couldn't believe Edward meant what he had written, that he was breaking up with her . . . that she would never see him again. She refused to believe it. And if she could she'd have ran out of that hospital and searched every inch of Seattle until she found him. Instead she was trapped in a damn hospital bed with a leg that was not going to be letting her go anywhere anytime soon. She couldn't even protest when, a few days later, she left the hospital and was forced back home to Forks. Her leg and her arm were going to take weeks of rest and rehab to heal, and she just wasn't mobile enough to stay by herself in Seattle. She did have someone to take care of her in Seattle . . . but he was now gone.

The first weeks at home in Forks were hell for Bella. She was still hurt and devastated. She couldn't believe how one night, one split second, had changed her entire summer. She was supposed to be with Edward, searching apartments, packing and moving her stuff into their new place. Consolidating _hers_ and _his_ into a cozy combination of _theirs_. Into a home. She was supposed to be spending every night in _their_ bed with his warm body next to hers.

But one misstep, one stupid out of control van and everything was destroyed. Other than going to rehab, Bella either sat in a chair or lay on her bed, staring into space. Charlie finally confronted her when he couldn't stand seeing her like that any more. He tried to get her to see that Edward wasn't coming back, that he was a heel and a coward for leaving her when she was hurt and needed him the most. Charlie's words had the opposite effect, just making Bella think about Edward even more, at least in her mind. Verbally, she didn't have the words to argue with Charlie because she didn't know what to say. She didn't know why Edward had left. But as she began to wake up again, she knew . . . she just knew in her gut that something had to be wrong. That the Edward she knew and loved, loved her too and would never have just disappeared without good reason. And if he really did want her out of his life . . . then she needed him to tell her that himself. Only then would she believe it.

Bella had tried calling Edward many times when she was in the hospital and left voicemail after voicemail until she got a message that his voicemail box was full. He never called her back.

She decided to try again but this time got a message that the phone number had been disconnected. She called into the diner several times, her heart beat pounding with hope every time the phone began to ring. But Sam always answered, usually with the same reply—Edward was either not working that day or was not available to come to the phone. She'd always leave a message but after a month of random calls and messages left that Edward never responded to, she stopped calling. She wouldn't be able to do anything until she was walking again and back in Seattle. So she had to bide her time, but she was not giving up.

And now, finally, summer was over. Her injuries were mostly healed; she only walked with a slight limp that was getting better every day. School was starting tomorrow and Charlie had just moved her back into her apartment yesterday. She folded the piece of paper in her hand and put it back in her pocket, swallowing hard around the lump in her throat as she stared at the door of the diner. She'd been standing outside for a while, trying to get the courage to reach out and open the door. All summer she'd been waiting for this; her determination to get to this moment fueled her painful rehab, her goal to be able to walk again and to see Edward again. And now . . . now that she was standing here, she was terrified. Because all summer she could convince herself that he didn't mean any of it. But now she was faced with the possibility that she just might have to listen to him tell her he really didn't want her anymore.

Her hand trembled as she finally forced herself to pull on the door handle.

She was immediately greeted with a warmth that contrasted with the chill her body felt from being outside. Nothing had really changed; it was still the same bright lights and cheery atmosphere that had always been the diner. But as she quickly scanned the room she saw . . . no Edward.

"Bells, darlin' good to see you, how have you . . . whoa, babe! What happened to you?"

Emmett. Bella tried to smile at him but it felt like too much work.

"I got hit by a truck . . . literally. Well, a van."

He grasped her arm and helped her over to a booth to sit down. "Oh my God, are you okay?"

"No."

Emmett's eyebrows quirked in surprise.

Bella closed her eyes in exhaustion. "I mean, I'm fine, as far as the accident goes . . . broken bones heal." She turned back to him and opened her eyes.

"Is . . . Edward here?"

"Um, no. Actually, he's supposed to be, but he hasn't showed up yet."

Bella's whole body shook as she gasped for a breath. Her grip on Emmett's arm was like a vise. "He's . . . still here? He's going to be here?"

Emmett was shocked at her appearance and at her reaction. He was missing something, but he didn't know what. He frowned as he tried to answer her. "Well . . . yes, at least I assume so. It's my first night back so I haven't heard anything different from him . . ."

"First night back?"

"Well yeah, I haven't been working all summer, I needed to take some personal time off to take care of Rosie."

Bella sighed. "I've been calling here . . . all summer, I've left messages. But he never . . .

_**~O~X~O~X~O~X~O~X~**_

Edward hid behind a tree and watched them through the window as they talked. Emmett crouched down next to Bella, his hand touching her shoulder in comfort. She was just as beautiful as ever, just . . . sad. So sad. And the dark circles under her eyes were back. He remembered she had them the first time he ever met her. And now there they were again . . . and it was all because of him. It had been three months, Edward had hoped she would have forgotten him by now, or at least gotten angry and moved on. He swallowed around the lump in his throat. God, he wanted to walk in that door, grasp her hands, touch her face, her skin, breathe in her scent. He wanted to pull her into his arms and never let go. But . . . he knew it was wrong. He shouldn't. And he couldn't go in there. She'd never leave until he talked to her, she'd stay all night. Edward turned around and left before anyone saw him.

_**~X~**_

The next night when Edward walked into the diner, his eyes scanned the entire place, and he let out a breath of relief when he realized she wasn't there.

"Edward. Get your ass in here." Emmett was holding the door to the kitchen open with one hand, his other hand planted firmly on his hip. His jaw was clenched and his eyes were locked right on Edward.

Edward ducked his head down as he walked toward the kitchen, preparing himself to hear the words "you're fired." He had not come in at all last night and hadn't even called or notified Emmett. Then again, maybe losing this job would be a good thing; one less way Bella could find him.

As the door slammed behind Emmett, Edward was already grabbing some paper. He started scribbling his apology and excuse for not coming in last night. He handed it to Emmett, who ripped it from his hands but didn't even look down at it. Instead, Edward felt a swift and hard slap to the back of his head.

Edward's mouth dropped open in shock as he rubbed the spot where Emmett had just clocked him.

"Just what the hell do you think you're doing boy? Bella is a mess. She said she hasn't heard from you in months?" He paused and read through the words Edward had written before shaking it right in front of his face. "And what's this? You expect me to believe this lame excuse for missing work last night?" He crumbled it up and threw it in the wastebasket three feet away, hitting the basket perfectly. "You knew she was here didn't you? You were avoiding her."

Edward could only look down at the floor. He hadn't been prepared to be attacked by Emmett, although after seeing he and Bella talking together yesterday, he realized he shouldn't be surprised. Emmett would never understand though, it was too complicated to explain with a few words on a piece of paper.

"Bella told me about the accident. Said you left her some sob story note at the hospital. I saw you two kids here, every night practically, cause you couldn't stay away from each other. I saw the goofy smiles on your faces and the way she looked at you. And the way you looked at her—you thought she hung the fucking moon. Those kinds of feelings don't go away overnight. So what the hell happened, Edward? What the hell happened to make you break that sweet girl's heart?"

Edward just stood there, letting Emmett's harsh but truthful words wash over him—_Those kinds of feelings don't go away overnight. What the hell happened to make you break that sweet girl's heart?_

_I didn't want to! _Edward wanted to scream the words back at Emmett. But he couldn't, so he just stood there. Emmett was standing his ground, however, not letting Edward go. So, finally, Edward tried to explain himself with paper and pen the best way he could:

_It's for the best. I . . . couldn't do anything to save her. I can't take care of her. She's better off without me._

Emmett sighed as he read the words, all anger at Edward melting away. He could read between the lines of Edward's words; he personally understood the helplessness Edward felt.

Edward watched nervously as Emmett's face sagged. He'd braced himself for more anger but was surprised at the man's emotional reaction. Finally Emmett looked straight at him, the sadness showing in his eyes.

"Edward. Sam told you why I haven't been at here this summer, right?"

Edward nodded, confused but contrite. Emmett had taken some time off this summer because his wife Rose was ill . . . cancer, if he remembered right. But she had survived and was okay now, that's why Emmett was back. He wasn't sure why Emmett was mentioning it but he felt bad that something was triggering Emmett to mention her illness now.

"Edward, I understand what you're feeling, really I do. It's damn scary to have to sit helplessly by and watch the woman you love more than life itself go through something so . . . tragic. To face the prospect of maybe losing her." He swallowed hard as he paused, pursing his lips tightly before he felt comfortable enough to continue. "But good God man, you don't abandon her. This is the time she needs you the most."

Edward gripped his hair tightly and started fidgeting, grabbing for the paper again. Emmett placed his hand over Edward's to stop him and get his attention.

"I know, you think you're not a help to her. You think you should have been able to somehow keep that van from hitting her. It's a man thing; trust me, I know. We think we need to be a caveman and protect and take care of our women. But sometimes things happen that we have no control over, no matter how much we wish we did. We have to set our ego aside, because you know what? They don't need us to protect them all the time. They just need us to be there . . . with them and for them as they deal with whatever they're going through."

Edward just kept looking sadly at the floor.

"Edward, she's already lost the last guy she was close to. You are good for her. She is good for you. Don't throw that away over something stupid. Don't let her lose you too."

Edward looked up to find Emmett staring him straight in the eye. He was already broken up over leaving Bella. He knew Emmett meant well but he didn't need to hear any more. Emmett was normal, he could scream and yell and call out to warn his wife when she was in danger. He didn't get it, he never would.

Edward just turned to grab an apron and headed out of the kitchen.

_**~O~X~O~X~O~X~O~X~**_

Bella's head whipped up at the echoing sounds of the door banging against the wall, sneakers and footsteps squeaking on the linoleum floor and voices filtering out from the room. Finally. She'd been sitting and waiting for a half-hour, the longest half-hour ever. Watching the clock slowly tick-tick-tick every minute away, her heart rate speeding up with every one of those passing minutes.

After missing Edward at the diner last night, she moved on to her next plan—school, specifically the music building. They both had set up their class schedules last year, right before the end of the year and she still remembered most of Edward's schedule. Right now he was supposed to be in some kind of advanced music theory class with Dr. Cullen. So she had skipped her English lit class to sit here in the hallway in front of the classroom until Edward came out. He would have to face her then. Even if he tried to run the other way, she was determined to catch him, to make him talk to her.

Her eyes were trained on every person that came out of the room, her heart skipping a beat with each one. But blond, brunette, short, tall, male or female, they were all wrong. None of them were Edward.

She sat until the hallway was empty, her stomach plummeting. She was devastated, so sure that she would have seen him today. The tension and anticipation that her body had been holding onto all afternoon melted away and all she felt was exhausted. Grabbing up her backpack, she decided to just skip her next class and go home. As she picked it up from the wrong corner it tipped and books and papers slid out all over the floor. She bit her lip to hold back the tears as she bent down to pick everything up, when all she wanted to do was slam everything against the wall and scream in frustration.

Carlisle turned to shut and lock the door behind him, his mind filled with the lesson plans for tomorrow's class. And with a plan to properly reprimand Mike Newton if he dared fall asleep in his class again. _If that boy thinks he can squeak through my class, he's got another thing coming . . . ._

His train of thought got interrupted by the noise down the hall. A student, long-brown hair obscuring her face, sat amidst papers and books strewn completely across the floor. She let out a loud sigh and raked one hand through her hair, pushing it aside enough that he could recognize her—it was Edward's girlfriend, Bella. He remembered meeting her at the spring recital.

"Bella?" he hurried over, bending down to offer his assistance. "Looks like you had quite a spill here." He smiled warmly at her. As her face turned upward to answer him, he was shocked by her appearance. She was pale and thin; her eyes dull with significant dark circles underneath them.

"Dr. Cullen, thanks. Yeah, I dropped my bag." She reached over to grab another book, when suddenly her head snapped back up and she sat up straighter, something sparking in her eyes.

"Was Edward in your class just now?"

Carlisle, frowned slightly in confusion at her question. "No . . . he _was,_ originally, but he had to switch some classes around last week to fit in a last minute biology requirement he never took care of when he was a freshman. Didn't he tell you about that? He was quite frustrated that he had to go back and take a freshman level class again." Carlisle chuckled, remembering how the boy had stormed into his office, his fingers seeming to sign at the speed of light as he railed at the "idiots" in the scheduling office. He considered himself quite adept at deciphering sign language, but even he had had to stop and tell Edward to slow down.

He watched as Bella turned her eyes back to the floor. "Um, no I didn't know that." Her voice so quiet, it was barely audible.

Carlisle paused as he held one last book out to the girl. Something wasn't adding up.

"Bella, is everything okay?" She refused to look at him and he noticed her hand was shaking as she clumsily tried to fit the book back into her bag.

"Yeah, everything is . . . ." Her voice just stopped. He could tell she was struggling, her eyes damp.

"I was just heading to my office, I've got some free time for the next couple of hours. Maybe you'd like to talk about it?" He saw hesitation and wariness in her face. "At least come join me in a cup of tea, sit and relax for a bit?"

His smile was so warm and compassionate and Bella was so . . . tired. She found her feet moving, following after him.

_**~O~X~O~X~O~X~O~X~**_

Bella opened the door again and held her breath. A quick scan of the diner again produced no Edward anywhere to be seen. She sighed and slipped into a booth, setting her book on the table. She felt the ironic déjà vu of the whole situation. It was the middle of the night and she couldn't sleep from missing the man she loved, so here she was again sitting alone at a booth in the diner. She let out a hysterical laugh and scrubbed her hands tiredly over her face.

Dr. Cullen had been so nice to her earlier today. He had obviously seen Edward in class last week, the first he'd seen him since end of spring semester. But he said he hadn't had much of a chance to talk to him, and he had no clue about Bella's accident or where Edward had been all summer. He didn't feel it was his place to talk for Edward but he'd tried to explain to her a little bit of how Edward saw himself. About his insecurities and why he might have left like that. About how he might feel unequal in their relationship, how he would always feel "different" and out of place in a world where he couldn't communicate like everyone else. It wasn't right, but it was how he felt and it would just take him some time. She understood everything Dr. Cullen said, but she still didn't understand why he was doing this. She thought they had dealt with all of the "differences" of their relationship, Edward seemed so confident and certain with her. What happened in that one night to completely destroy everything they had built?

There was a loud crash and Bella jumped at the noise. Turning she found herself looking across the room at very terrified but familiar green eyes.

Edward was walking out of the kitchen with an order for a customer when he saw her. She didn't see him, but the plate slipped from his hand so quickly he didn't have the wherewithal to stop it before it crashed to the ground, announcing his presence. His first intuition was to whip around and run back into the kitchen and to keep running out the back door. But of course, she called out to him and he was trapped. Well not really, he could have still run . . . but deep down he knew she was just going to keep coming back until he talked to her.

He did have his job to do though, so he concentrated on that first. He cleaned up the mess he'd made and tossed out the broken plate pieces. He was just finishing wiping up the floor when Bella approached him at the counter.

"Edward? I . . . How . . . ." Bella's throat was dry and her mind was going a mile a minute. So long she'd been waiting to see him. Here he was, finally, in front of her and she just didn't know what to say first.

Edward stared into her weary eyes and his heart cracked, the pain literally stabbing him. She was still so beautiful, she always would be. But he saw the pain and the hurt she was in. And he knew he was the cause. He felt himself starting to crumble, wanting to take her in his arms and never let her go. But then he noticed her limp, and that night came rushing back along with all of his reasons for leaving the hospital, and he felt his spine stiffen again. He had to steel himself; he had to keep reminding himself that this was for the best. For her.

"Edward, what happened? Why did you leave the hospital? Why did you leave that note? I've called and called and left voicemails and messages with Sam . . . I don't understand what you wrote. I don't understand why . . . how you're just . . . giving up on us."

He stood there motionless, honestly not knowing what to say. How to say what he needed to for her to realize this had to be over between them.

"What happened that night Edward? The accident wasn't your fault; you do know that right? God! It was just some awful, stupid, random thing that happened! Charlie gave me all the details from the police report. I know you were questioned, I know they didn't understand you at first and it broke my heart. But I know that was all cleared up. And I know you were at the hospital for a long time that night, Billy told me he talked to you. So please, Edward, _please_. What am I missing from that night? Why . . . why did you just walk away? Please Edward, I need to know. I need to hear it from you."

Bella was trying hard to hold it together, but stray tears escaped and were trailing down her cheeks. Her eyes were wide and pleading, and her knuckles were white from gripping the counter so tightly.

His fingers felt so heavy; it was hard to form the words. But he had to. He had to.

_Bella . . . I'm not good for you. We . . . don't work together. I'm . . . tired of trying. This was always going to happen eventually, it's just . . . too hard._

Bella's mouth dropped open and her hands slipped from the counter to hang listlessly at her sides. She backed up and kept moving, her mouth trying to form words.

"No," she whispered as she started shaking her head back and forth. "No, I don't believe you . . . I can't. You _loved_ me. We . . . we were going to move in together. You don't mean that, you _can't_."

Edward was breathing so hard he was afraid he might hyperventilate soon. God, he hated doing this to her. Why couldn't she just . . . leave it alone.

_I'm sorry Bella, I shouldn't have let it get this far . . . I shouldn't . . . I was stupid to think this would work. I'm so sorry, but this is for the best. For both of us. _

Unable to see her anguish anymore and having no more reasons to give her should she keep pushing him, he picked up the dirty rags and turned away into the kitchen, the door slamming shut behind him.

Bella immediately deflated, her whole body turning inward. If she were lying down she'd no doubt be curled into the fetal position. Instead the floor started swimming, but she made herself stay upright. Just long enough for her to get back to her apartment. Then she could collapse and let everything go.

He didn't want _them_ anymore.

He didn't want _her_.

_**~O~X~O~X~O~X~O~X~**_

Carlisle watched over his classroom of students as they finished up their tests. His eyes kept landing on Edward, as his mind returned to the conversation he'd had with Bella a few days ago. He realized now that Edward had been quieter, more distant this semester. He hadn't thought much of it, just assumed Edward was bogged down with the typical—classes, studying, work. As he watched him now he saw the same hollow sunken look he'd seen in Bella's face. The same dark circles under his eyes that she'd had. _Damn fool kid_, he thought, then immediately chastised himself. Edward generally had a sound head on his shoulders, he rarely made snap decisions. If he had pulled away from Bella he must have had a good reason. Yet, he looked miserable. Somehow, Carlisle suspected there was more to this story, something Edward was hiding, and he was concerned.

As class ended and students were gathering up their things and handing in their tests, Carlisle called out over the noise. "Edward, if you could stay behind for a few minutes, please."

Edward's head snapped up and he frowned, wondering what Dr. Cullen wanted to talk to him about.

_**~X~**_

Carlisle shut the door to his office behind Edward, smiling as he headed to his chair behind his desk.

"You can have a seat, Edward. This semester has been busy, yes? We haven't had much time to chat like we used to. I just wanted to catch up, see how you've been."

Edward let out a small breath of relief and sat down on the small leather chair in front of Dr. Cullen's desk.

They talked about music and class work for a while, about what pieces Edward should start working on for his senior thesis recital. Carlisle was trying to give Edward time to open up on his own but he noticed the boy specifically seemed to be staying away from any personal topics. He decided he was going to have to try drawing him out.

"You look a little tired, Edward. Are you still working nights at the diner?"

_Yes._

"Having trouble sleeping?"

_No._

Edward clammed up to one-word answers, and the last one Carlisle was pretty sure was a lie.

"How's Bella doing? You two moved, are living together now, right? How's that going?"

Yes, now Carlisle was doing the lying but he didn't want Edward to know about his conversation with Bella.

Edward's fingers faltered and he took his time answering. He thought about just making something up, but it didn't feel right. Dr. Cullen had always been such a good mentor and friend to him, a father figure really. He deserved the truth, even though the thought of even saying it exhausted Edward.

_We . . . We didn't end up moving in together. We're . . . not together anymore._

Carlisle frowned. "Oh Edward. I'm very sorry to hear that."

_It's for the best._

_But for whom?_ Carlisle wanted to ask. He waited, but when Edward didn't volunteer any more information, he tried to push him farther.

"Bella was learning sign language, right? She seemed committed to making the relationship work. Did her feelings on the subject change?"

As Carlisle had expected, that comment caught Edward's attention immediately. His fingers flew quickly to defend Bella.

_Bella didn't end things. I did._

Carlisle just raised his eyebrows in surprise and waited, trying to give Edward the time he knew he needed.

Edward didn't want to say anymore, he really didn't want to talk about this. But under Dr. Cullen's quiet gaze he eventually found his fingers moving, spilling the whole story, finally—Bella's accident, all that happened with the police and at the hospital that night, how helpless he felt. And how unworthy of her he was, how she deserved someone better.

_We just aren't going to work together. We're too . . . different._

"You're saying you don't think you and Bella can be together because you're different? Because you can't speak and she can?"

Edward nodded his head slowly.

"But you were doing fine together before the accident. You were both quite happy."

_We were ignoring reality, trying to live in a fantasy world where our differences didn't matter. I knew better. I should have known they would tear us apart someday._

Dr. Cullen made a humming noise and began fiddling with his cell phone, obviously sending a text message to someone. When he was finished he got up from his chair and grabbed his briefcase and the jacket hanging on a nearby hook.

"Edward, do you have plans for dinner?"

Edward shook his head no, warily. Dr. Cullen's phone chimed at him and he smiled as he quickly read the incoming message. He patted Edward on the shoulder.

"Well son, you do now."

_**~X~**_

Dr. Cullen lived farther out of the city than Edward expected. Once they were past the city limits, he turned into a drive hidden by trees and beautiful greenery. It curved back and opened into a clearing that held a large, (at least to Edward's senses) modern home made of wood and glass. He followed his professor up a few steps and waited as he turned the key in the lock.

Edward's nose immediately was assaulted by rich smells of tomato and garlic and his stomach started to grumble. All thoughts of dinner or food, however, were gone in an instant as his attention was drawn to the several small lights mounted on the upper walls that started to flash the minute they walked in the door. His eyes widened in a moment of déjà vu. He recognized these lights.

They were the same type of lights that had been all over the deaf school he had lived in as a boy, used to alert the non-hearing students and staff when someone was ringing a doorbell or opening a door or when a telephone was ringing.

Seconds later a woman walked into the room that Edward recognized from the photo on Dr. Cullen's desk. His wife, obviously. She was just as pretty as she was in the photograph, her light brown hair falling about her shoulders and a smile lighting up her face as she hurried toward them. She and Dr. Cullen signed greetings to each other and she stood on tiptoe to kiss him. Then she swiveled around and headed toward Edward, her fingers moving swiftly.

_And this must be your prize pupil, Edward, that I've heard so much about!_

Edward stood in shock as she wrapped her arms around him in a warm, inviting hug. He was still trying to digest everything.

Dr. Cullen's wife was _deaf_. It made sense now, why Dr. Cullen was so fluent in sign language.

As his wife pulled away from Edward, Carlisle began to speak and sign at the same time.

"Edward, this is my wife, Esme."

As Dr. Cullen stood there with his arm around his wife, both of them smiling broadly at him, Edward tried to recover from his surprise.

_It's so nice to meet you Mrs. Cullen, thank you for having me for dinner. I hope it's not an imposition._

Mrs. Cullen started waving her arms dismissively.

_Now stop that right now, it's certainly not an imposition, I love to meet Carlisle's students. And please, none of that 'Mrs. Cullen' stuff — call me Esme._

_Ok. _

Esme started walking backwards toward the kitchen waving them forward with her._ Come on boys, I just pulled the lasagna out of the oven, I hope you're both hungry._

_**~X~**_

Edward ended up having a good time at his dinner with the Cullens. The food was delicious and he made sure Esme knew how much he liked it. He still couldn't believe how welcoming she'd been, after her husband showed up with him in tow as an unexpected guest.

Dinner was a quiet affair but definitely not without conversation. Esme had all sorts of questions for Edward about his job at the diner, how he liked college and his classes. When she asked about his classes with her husband, Dr. Cullen started protesting and Edward enjoyed watching them banter back and forth, ribbing each other with a spark in their eye. He could feel the genuine love and happiness between the couple, a love and a comfortableness with each other that obviously came from many years together. He liked Esme a lot and he could see how well she and Dr. Cullen fit together.

When dinner was over, Edward got up to help clear the table, but Esme shooed him off, insisting he was the guest and she had everything under control. Edward thought he saw a knowing look pass between she and Dr. Cullen but he wasn't sure what it was about.

Edward tried to protest and offer his help, but Dr. Cullen stopped him.

"Edward, you're too polite. When Esme sends me out of the kitchen, I thank the Gods that I am granted my freedom! Come, let's retire to the living room before she changes her mind."

In the living room, Edward took a better look around and noticed another detail he'd missed earlier, distracted by the flashing lights. In one corner of the room there was a desk with a computer on it, and next to it one of the TTY teletype phone machines deaf people used for making telephone calls.

Carlisle caught Edward looking over at the machine. "Not quite what you expected?" he said as he nodded toward the phone.

Edward immediately felt embarrassed and his cheeks grew heated.

_Sorry, I didn't mean to . . . I was surprised, yes._

Carlisle smiled sympathetically. "It's okay Edward, really. Do you understand now, why I invited you to dinner?"

Edward ducked his head meekly and stared at a spot on the floor, knowing where Dr. Cullen was going to go with this conversation and not really wanting to hear it.

Carlisle saw the boy withdraw and sighed. "I met Esme my senior year of high school. Pretty typical scenario, I'm afraid." He smiled as he remembered. "A bunch of friends and I were hanging out at the local pizza place on a Friday night. This group of girls came in from the local deaf school. I locked eyes on Esme and she just took my breath away, she was so beautiful. At first I didn't even realize they were deaf and then they all started signing to each other. I was just mesmerized even more, watching them, watching her. Her hands moved so gracefully, her smile was so radiant. She caught my eyes a few times, and turned that dazzling smile on me and I was finished." He chuckled.

"A week later I ran into her at the library and was determined to talk to her this time. I hadn't been able to get her out of my mind since the pizza shop. Somehow I managed to convince her to go out for coffee, and then a date that Friday, and then, well . . . we 'became an item' I guess, as they say. But we only had a month together and then I had to leave for college. We fought—I expected us to stay together and deal with a long distance relationship. But she had other ideas. She didn't want to tie me down; she said I would go off to school and find all these new, interesting hearing girls and that I needed the freedom to do that. That I didn't know what I really wanted, that I would regret staying together—every reason under the sun she threw out at me. She's strong willed and feisty and stubborn when she knows what she wants."

_So . . . you broke up?_

We did, for a semester. I never dated anyone else though, I didn't want to. Instead I spent the time I would have used dating, to learn sign language. Then I went back home at Christmas break and spent the whole break convincing her I wanted to be with her. That I loved her. Eventually she saw the light." Carlisle grinned but quickly grew serious again.

"I'm not saying it's been a complete happy-ever-after, Edward. Every relationship goes through its ups and downs and every couple has their differences now and then."

_Differences . . . because you can hear and she can't._

"Actually more like the differences of how I tend to leave my socks on the floor or leave the window open . . . or how she gets so engrossed in chatting with her computer friends, she forgot to turn the oven on for dinner." Carlisle smiled and sighed. "Listen, Edward, I can't say there weren't some . . . _adjustments_ . . . for us both in the beginning because Esme is deaf. But they were all things that could be dealt with, they weren't deal-breakers for me. I never wished I was with someone who could hear. Love allows us to overcome anything, to ignore what might be difficult in order to be with the one we love.

"I know you think you are doing what is best for Bella. But shouldn't she get to have a say in who she wants to love? In what her life will be like?"

_**~O~X~O~X~O~X~O~X~**_

Those last words from Dr. Cullen stayed with Edward for weeks. After leaving his house, Edward's brain was in a fog the whole way home, trying to turn everything over in his head. It had been both shocking and also a bit of a rush to meet Dr. Cullen's wife and see them together and the love they had. They interacted like any other couple, just not with spoken words. And they'd been together for years, quite happily. They'd made it.

_Yeah but . . ._

There was still a stubborn voice inside him that kept telling him that he was trying to keep Bella safe, that she would realize this some day. But that voice was getting smaller and quieter by the day. Edward kept running Dr. Cullen's words through his head. He kept hearing Emmett's conversation with him. He kept seeing Bella's face, so broken, as he'd told her they shouldn't be together.

_Shouldn't she get to have a say?_

He thought he was making this easier for her. He hadn't meant to take any choices away from her . . . but he realized that was exactly what he had done.

_Of course you did, because you knew she would never leave on her own._

As the voices continually warred in his head, Edward morosely trudged through his classes and his job, exerting the minimum effort to get by. At night he slept alone, restlessly tossing and turning, never completely getting a good night's sleep. Even playing the piano didn't hold the same joy for him anymore. It had always been one way of working things out for him. He'd start playing and let his emotions come out into the keys, into the music. Lately everything started angry but quickly slipped into melancholic dirges.

Then one day he stopped for coffee at a little coffee cart on campus. As he waited for his order he looked across the quad. And there she was . . . long brown hair tucked behind her ear, a smile across her face. She was talking and laughing with another student. A male student. She looked . . . happy. His whole stomach clenched into one painful knot and his heart raced. As much as it hurt to watch, he couldn't tear his eyes away, watching as she finished her conversation with the boy, and then as they embraced in a casual hug before they each turned and walked away in opposite directions.

Edward felt stuck in place, like his whole body was made of concrete. The pain shocked him, he hadn't expected it to be so blinding. But this was what he'd wanted right? He wanted her to move on with her life, he wanted her to be happy. And she was smiling . . . at that boy. She looked happy; at least, much better than the last time they'd talked at the diner.

Edward couldn't concentrate the rest of the day. He was supposed to be practicing for an upcoming recital, composing original music for his final thesis, but he found himself just sitting motionless, staring at the keys.

He kept telling himself this was what he wanted for her. This was the reason he had taken himself out of her life. But now that it was truly facing him . . . .

He couldn't stop the memories from flooding his head—the first time Bella smiled at him, the first time they made love and how beautifully radiant she looked the next morning. And the sight of her at the park playing with the young child—he'd been so certain that was his future, that it was _their_ future.

And he remembered Dr. Cullen and his wife, how happy and easy they were, how in love. They'd made their own life together.

The warring dueling voices in his head were silent. There was only one now.

_You threw it all away. For nothing. You could have had her, forever._

Edward slammed the cover down on the keys, and stalked out of the room.

_**~X~**_

His mind still swimming and his chest still hurting, he headed to work. He paused on the sidewalk in front of the diner, glancing down the street at Bella's building. It was twilight, just starting to get dark enough that she had her light on. So many times he had followed her home from the diner, so many times he had stood and stared up at that window, before she even knew how he felt. When she barely knew him. How he yearned for just one smile from her, for just one touch. His feelings hadn't changed. He still loved her.

His feet started moving faster and faster until he was running down the street.

His heart was thudding in his chest as he stood in front of her door. Taking deep breaths he rapped his knuckles on the door, the noise echoing in the quiet hallway. Finally he heard movement on the other side of the door, he heard her fingers scraping against the door. Making sure he was standing in front of the peephole, so she could see it was him, he waited. But the door did not open and the only sound he heard was Bella's breathing from the opposite side. He knocked again, quieter this time, but he knew it was pointless. Holding himself up with both hands against the door, he rested his forehead on the hard wood. She didn't want to see him, and he understood. He wouldn't want to see him either after what he'd put her through. He couldn't plead with her through the door; he couldn't use his voice to explain himself. And he'd never replaced his phone after he trashed it that night of the accident. Even if he had, this was not a conversation to be had over text messages. She probably wouldn't even accept his phone messages anyway. So he did the only thing he could think of, he went back to the beginning. He turned and slid down the door until he was sitting on the floor. Rummaging through his backpack, he found a legal pad and a pen. And he started writing.

He wrote, and wrote and wrote. Apologizing, explaining, asking for forgiveness, declaring that he would understand if she never wanted to see him again, telling her that he had never stopped loving her . . . and no matter what happened, he never would.

He slipped page after page after page under the door, and he wrote until he was out of ink and out of words. After the last page disappeared under the door he waited. He had no idea if she was even reading them, she might just be crumpling them up and throwing them away.

It was late and eventually the exhaustion of the day took its toll, causing him to doze off, still leaning against her door.

So he was startled awake, his whole body jumping when the door finally opened. Light was just starting to stream in the window at the end of the hall, meaning dawn was breaking. He had been here all night.

Bleary-eyed he looked up, holding his breath in anticipation. Bella stood there staring back at him, eyes red, tears dripping down her face, with his pages crinkled in her hand.

He couldn't read her expression, would she throw him out or invite him in?

At least she'd opened the door.

It was a start.

* * *

_**A/N: I know, a bit of a cliffhanger again, but not quite as bad as last time. We're almost there, one more chapter to go . . . **_


	10. Chapter 10

**All copyright and trademarked items mentioned herein belong to their respective owners. The remaining content is all mine. No copying or reproduction of this work is permitted without my express written authorization.**

**Check out the A/N at the bottom for important info. Also there is a song for this chapter but I can't reveal it until the end, or it will give the whole chapter away. :) (And DON'T go scrolling down to the end now! :)**

* * *

_Bleary-eyed he looked up, holding his breath in anticipation. Bella stood there staring back at him, eyes red, tears dripping down her face, with his pages crinkled in her hand._

_He couldn't read her expression, would she throw him out or invite him in?_

_At least she'd opened the door._

_It was a start._

* * *

Neither of them moved. They stood there, staring at each other. Every nerve in Edward's body was twitching, as he struggled to keep still, waiting for Bella. Waiting for her to smile, or reach out, or . . . something, anything. But she stayed immobile, her falling tears the only sign of movement.

At least she was still looking at him. And he was going to hold onto that like a drowning man grasping a life preserver. He kept his eyes locked on hers as he slowly took a step forward.

Her eyes blinked in succession and her lip quivered.

He took another step and she finally moved, skittering backward like a scared kitten.

The hope in his heart died a little. But her eyes still held his.

He reached out tentatively, barely brushing her cheek with his fingers. Her eyelids closed and she took in a deep breath.

Edward took another step forward. She trembled, eyes still closed but she didn't step away from him. As he raised his other hand, reaching for her face she grasped his arm, stopping his movement in mid-air.

_**~O~X~O~X~O~X~O~X~**_

Edward was jittery as he walked into the empty diner, a million thoughts running through his head.

"Eddie! Hey how's . . . ." Emmett paused as he looked at Edward's face and then busted out with one of his booming full body laughs. Edward grimaced at him.

"Oh man, Eddie, you're lookin' a little green around the gills." He started another round of chuckling, unable to hold it in.

Edward pulled out his iPhone and typed, holding the phone out toward Emmett.

_Thanks a lot, Em._ The mechanical voice coming out of the iPhone's speaker delivered the words but not the sarcasm behind them. Emmett understood though, chortling some more as he pounded Edward on the shoulder.

Very quickly though, he sobered up and looked Edward in the eye, a warm smile on his face. "Edward, trust me, I know it's scary right now, but you have nothing to worry about. It's all gonna work out great." Emmett winked at him and tossed the keys toward Edward.

"Lock up when you leave," was the last thing he said as he walked out the door, leaving Edward alone.

Edward gulped and looked all around, then scrambled to make sure everything was in place and ready.

His mind wandered as he worked, the memories of he and Bella scrolling through his mind like a movie slideshow. It was hard to believe it had been two years since Bella's accident, two years since he stood in her apartment. That night . . . it felt like time had stopped as he tried to gauge whether she was going to forgive him or not. He remembered praying and pleading in his mind for her to believe him and he was scared to death of what he would do if she turned him away. His whole life hinged on that moment, her answer controlling everything—who _he_ was going to be, what _his life_ was going to be from that moment on.

Bella took her time. He had hurt her deeply and she couldn't just take him back so easily. She had walls up around her heart and he had to live with the fact that it was he who had put them there.

"Edward, don't." Her eyes were shiny and pleading as she stopped his hand from touching her. "I want . . . ." She swallowed around her words, trying to keep the emotion in. "But I need time. I know you were scared. But you broke us, Edward. And that hurt. I just can't go back like nothing happened."

Edward's heart sank like a stone and his arms fell to his sides as he bowed his head, his whole body shrinking.

"But maybe . . . we can start over?" His eyes snapped up to meet hers. He saw, under her glistening tears, a glimmer of hope staring back at him.

And so that is what they did. They started with a date—dinner and a movie, just like their very first date. Except this time there was no awkwardness, no communication problems. They already knew each other inside and out. Edward was nervous, though, afraid that Bella would change her mind at any moment. But she seemed committed to really putting the past behind them.

Still, at the end of the night, Edward got no further than the front door of Bella's apartment building. They shared a goodnight kiss, but she didn't invite him in, and Edward didn't push. He was a little disappointed but he knew he had to follow Bella's lead. He messed up and he deserved to pay whatever penance he had to.

They continued seeing each other, meeting up on campus for lunch, going out on dates. Bella came often to the diner to study while Edward worked. Goodnight kisses on the front steps grew longer and longer. Soon there were invitations for takeout and movie nights cuddling on the couch. Cuddling that became more and more heated. Many nights Edward found himself sent home, painfully aroused and aching for Bella, but he never quibbled. Everything was on Bella's terms, and he could wait, however long it took.

One night, Edward arrived to pick Bella up for dinner and he could hear her voice out in the hallway as he paused to open the door of her apartment. Inside, he saw she was on the phone, and from the conversation, she was arguing about something with Charlie. He started to head back out into the hallway, to give her some privacy, but she saw him and shook her head, grasping his arm to keep him from leaving.

"We've moved passed that Dad."

Edward could hear Charlie's angry tone shouting out through the phone, just not enough to decipher words.

Bella sighed. "But this is what I want!" She was pacing and she moved down the hallway toward her bedroom a bit, for some privacy. She lowered her voice, so it was barely audible where Edward was standing, but he still heard it.

"_I still love him, Dad."_

Edward stiffened. His joy at hearing her say those words was dampened by the fact that his being back in Bella's life was causing problems between her and her Charlie. She had just returned from a weekend trip home to see her father and obviously it hadn't gone well.

The sudden silence broke through his thoughts and he looked up to see Bella standing there still clutching her phone and staring off into space, her brow furrowed.

Edward waved his hands to get her attention. _Bella, is everything okay? _

She smiled sadly at him, then rolled her eyes. "Yeah, Charlie isn't taking the news very well that I'm seeing you again. We got in a huge argument when I told him, so I left." She gestured with the phone. "I was calling him, thinking maybe he might have cooled down after a good night's sleep and that maybe we could talk rationally. He really doesn't like you right now, and he thinks I've lost my mind." Bella chuckled but Edward didn't see the humor. In fact he understood Charlie completely. If someone had hurt his little girl, he wouldn't want that person back in her life either.

_I don't blame him, I wouldn't like me much either._

Bella tilted her head and sighed. "Edward! Don't say that! And don't take his side!" She was smiling as she said it even though she was trying to look stern. " He just needs some time, I mean, I _just_ told him. He didn't even know we'd been talking. He'll come around . . . eventually."

_I don't know . . . are you sure? Are you sure you want me . . ._

Bella came over and grabbed Edward's hands to stop their motions. "Don't! Don't even say it. _I_ decide who I want in my life, he will have to deal with it." She leaned up and took his face in her hands, touching her lips softly to his. Edward couldn't help but smile, and Bella took advantage and deepened the kiss. Their lips moved together so perfectly, quickly igniting in heat. Edward pulled away to catch his breath.

_I suppose we should get going. _He could stay there, happy to hold and kiss Bella forever, but it was also frustrating, knowing they wouldn't be going any further. Still, he'd promised not to push her and he meant it.

"Actually, I don't want to go out tonight."

Edward frowned, confused. He'd given her an out during the Charlie conversation, but she said she wanted him to stay.

Bella bent her head and smiled shyly at him, her deep brown eyes looking up at him from under her lashes. She took his hand in hers and slowly started walking backward, toward her bedroom.

Edward let himself be pulled along, half of him in shock and the other half starting to heat up in anticipation.

Once they'd crossed the threshold of the bedroom, Bella reached up and wound her fingers in his hair, tugging his face down to hers. Their lips met, setting off sparks all over Edward's body as they caressed each other. Her lips parted and his tongue danced with hers, all wanton, wet heat.

She pushed her body against his and started fumbling with his coat. She had it half off his shoulders before he gathered his wits enough to break the connection of their bodies.

_Wait . . . we shouldn't . . . I mean, we can wait. I don't want this to be some kind of revenge move just because you're angry with your father._

Bella froze, her lips parting. She was embarrassed by his words, that he would think that. It was just really bad timing, and her heart broke to think she had just ruined the moment she had been planning all day. Edward looked so subdued she needed to reassure him.

"Oh Edward, oh baby," she spoke softly with a sad smile. She pulled him with her so they were sitting on the bed facing each other, looking directly into each other's eyes. "I promise you this has nothing to do with my father's reaction, I would never, ever do that." She paused as she stroked his cheek tenderly.

"When I went back home, I made my usual visit to Jacob's memorial. It doesn't hurt so much anymore; in fact, it almost feels like a completely different lifetime. Thinking about him and me, about us together, reminded me that every relationship has its ups and downs. He and I may have had problems but we really did have some good times too. Both are a part of life, a part of loving someone. And it also made me remember that . . . ." She swallowed deeply before continuing. " Life is short. We should never take anything for granted and we should never waste a minute."

Bella moved, climbing onto Edwards lap, her thighs straddling his. She ran her hands through his hair, down his face, stroking his cheekbones, brushing his lips; her eyes followed her fingers, ending by looking into his eyes. "I miss you Edward, I miss being with you. I love you . . . I love you . . . ." Her voice, rough and soft, faded to a whisper, as she closed her eyes and smashed her lips to his hungrily.

Edward's whole body felt like it was bursting, with love, with joy. It was like an iron lock had just been broken open, releasing all the tension and energy in every cell and muscle in his body. _She loved him. She wanted him._

He wrapped his hands around her back and wound his fingers into her hair, clutching her, pulling her into him. She twined her arms around his neck, cradling him to her.

Back and forth they pushed and pulled, sometimes slow and reverent and sometimes letting their passion lead. She lifted his shirt over his head and touched and caressed and scratched her nails on his chest, down his ribs and his stomach, causing his back to arch into her touch, craving more.

Bella worked her way back up and then pushed him backward, to the bed. She was leaning over him, their bodies not touching, a whisper of air between them. She paused, her face directly over his, her long brown hair cascading down around her, the tips of it brushing against his bare chest. They stared at each other, losing themselves in the depths of each other's eyes, drowning in the depths of their emotions. They both were taking in the moment and appreciating what it meant. Edward reached up and tucked some of Bella's hair behind her ear.

_So beautiful,_ he signed.

She smiled and her love shone down on him, surrounded him like a warm blanket. He rubbed his hands lightly up and down her arms, feeling the silkiness of the fabric of her thin blouse under his hands. As divine as it felt, he needed to feel _her_, to feel her smooth skin in his. She shuddered and closed her eyes as his fingers brushed against her stomach, trying to work the buttons in and out to remove her shirt. After he did the first few, she sat up and he watched as she carefully finished unbuttoning her blouse and shook it off her shoulders, dropping it to the floor beside the bed. He continued gazing at her as she reached behind her back. With a quiet click, he watched her bra straps slide down her shoulders as she removed the bra and dropped it to the floor as well. He couldn't take his eyes from her; he hoped he'd never have to again.

He pulled her on top of him again, a little higher this time, just enough so that his mouth could reach her breast. She gasped and then moaned as his lips brushed ever so gently against her skin. She arched towards him as he opened his mouth again and enveloped her whole nipple in his hot mouth, kissing it and caressing it until she was shivering and mewling at the sensation. Then he shifted slightly to do the same to the other breast, while rubbing his hands up an down her sides, tracing the length of her spine, and then finally sliding both palms over her ass, pulling her even closer.

"Ed . . . ward, oh!" Her voice stuttered and she let out a long, low moan.

Smiling against her skin, he moved his hands to her waist and quickly flipped her so that she was spread out under him. He took her all in—her hair strewn out around her, her eyes half-closed, her lips still swollen and red from their kissing. Her eyes opened then, and she smiled lazily up at him. He wanted to always remember this moment, when she willingly and lovingly gave herself back to him. All he wanted to do was make her happy, make sure she never stopped looking at him that way.

He bent down and trailed light kisses across her stomach to the waist of her jeans. Slowly he unbuttoned and unzipped the denim as her muscles quivered and she squirmed under his touch. He quickly had them off of her and her panties as well.

"umm, hmm," she purred as she reached her hand toward him. "You too," she said as she waved her hand up and down, but making no sign of moving from her spot on the bed.

He grinned at her and started to reach for his zipper, before he paused to sign.

_Impatient, are we?_

"For you, always."

His cock was already hard and aching for her, and at her words, it throbbed and strained even more, making his task more difficult. He ripped his jeans and underwear off, quickly joining her back on the bed. He kneeled between her legs, spreading them and kissing gently up her thighs. Bella was gasping and clutching the bed sheets. She was wet already and he licked and lapped and worshipped her body as she bucked and moaned and grasped his hair in her fist. When she was panting and writhing and crying out his name he stopped and she whimpered. He was right on the edge with her; he was almost shaking with his need for her.

He stretched out over her, her skin shiny and flushed everywhere, her eyes dark and looking straight at him. He was panting and ready, but he needed a moment, a moment to believe that this was really happening—that he wasn't dreaming, that he and Bella were together again. He'd never believed he'd get this chance again.

Bella saw the emotion washing over his face and she opened her arms up to bring him closer to her. She reached for his face and got him to focus on her. "Oh baby, it's okay, I promise. Please . . . I need you, I want you so much, please . . . _I love you._" The last three words came out as a whisper as she wrapped her legs higher around him. He could feel her heat brush against his cock and he shivered again. He leaned his forehead against hers, squeezing his eyes shut.

"Edward?"

He opened his eyes and gazed into hers. Her fingers traveled down his jaw, brushing his lips. Her breath ghosted against his face. He breathed her in and then with a shift of his body he was inside her, encompassed by her warmth. Bella gasped and arched and closed her eyes. She gripped his hair, she clutched his shoulders. Edward's whole body felt like it was an inferno, burning out of control.

Their passion drove them, grasping, pulling, touching, moving together desperately as one. Edward reveled in every breath, every cry, every moan, from Bella. He loved hearing her fall apart in his arms.

He felt her tremor under him and heard his name fall from her lips as she cried out. That was all it took for him to fall over the edge and collapse into her waiting arms. Where he stayed all night.

And where he planned to stay forever if everything worked out. Edward smiled as he remembered that night. It was one of the best nights of his life, all the details imprinted in his mind for eternity. All of the best nights of his life had been spent with Bella, and hopefully tonight would be another one of many, many more to come.

His phone buzzed and he glanced down.

**On my way. C U Soon. B**

Edward's heart flip-flopped and he jumped up to finish the preparations, a huge smile covering his face.

_**~O~X~O~X~O~X~O~X~**_

Bella found a parking spot across the street from the diner and got out, waiting for a car to pass before crossing. She smiled at the old familiar building. So many memories were wrapped up in this place. Her life changed that night that she walked into the diner, expecting to spend another horrible night alone avoiding her dreams and instead found herself looking up into Edward's eyes.

They hadn't been back here much since they'd both finished school, even though they still lived in Seattle. Edward had been extremely lucky in getting the job as the pianist for the Seattle Symphony, the former pianist deciding to retire the same year Edward graduated. And Bella, always planning to become a teacher, ended up getting into a new deaf school that had just opened up, her signing skills making her a top candidate. She loved working with the young children and always paid special attention to the new students or the ones who looked lonely or weren't as accepted by the other kids for one reason or another. She never forgot Edward's stories of growing up in a deaf school—even though he wasn't really deaf—and how the kids had treated him because of that. She couldn't go back in time and help Edward, but she could help another child from going through what Edward had.

They had tried to make a ritual of coming to the diner at least once a week, but life and schedules kept them busy. It had been a while since they'd been back to the old place. So she was intrigued to find out why Edward had asked her to meet him here tonight.

When she walked in, she was surprised to see the place deserted, not even Edward was anywhere in sight.

She frowned. "Edward? Emmett? Is anyone here?"

The kitchen door swung open and out walked Edward—dressed in a faded t-shirt and jeans, an old apron around his waist—very much like he'd looked when he used to work here.

She tilted her head and looked at him with a confused smile on her face. "Edward? What are you doing?"

He only smiled at her, and gestured her into her old booth.

He went back into the kitchen and returned with a cup of tea, and set it in front of her. Then he scribbled on his order pad and held it out for her to read.

_Can I get you anything else?_

Not sure how to respond or what he had up his sleeve, she didn't know how to answer. "Um . . . no?"

Edward sat down across from her and started scribbling again, before passing the pad back to her.

_How was your day?_

"It was okay, pretty easy today, actually. Um . . . Edward why aren't you signing?"

He shrugged his shoulders and avoided her question, asking another question about her students instead. He managed to engage her in a short conversation about work and other mundane everyday details.

Eventually Bella got tired of waiting to read Edward's notes. "Come on Edward, what's up? Why are we here, why are you writing and not signing, why are you serving me and wearing an apron? And why are there no other customers?"

He rolled his eyes at her. _You're no fun, you know that?_

"No fun?" Now it was her turn to roll her eyes and shake her head. "Edward . . . ."

_Emmett let me have the place for the night. Do you know what today is?_

She shook her head slowly.

_It's the anniversary of the night I first saw you, sitting here in this very booth._

He was still writing and pushing his notes across the table to her. She blushed as she read his words.

_I fell in love with you that very night._

_You were the most beautiful girl I'd ever seen. But I was sure I'd never have a chance with you._

_Someone like you wouldn't want someone like me._

_But then you actually sat and talked with me, were patient with me. You took the time to get to know me. _

_And I couldn't believe I was so lucky that you liked me._

_That you loved me._

_I know things haven't always been perfect and I've made mistakes. But you forgave me and gave me another chance._

Bella was overwhelmed as she read all of his words.

_You changed my life Bella, you've given me things I never thought I could have. _

_I love you so much, I will always love you._

Edward took a deep breath and scribbled four last words, one word per each small sheet of order pad paper. Hands shaking he passed them across the table, one by one.

_Will_

_You_

_Marry _

_Me?_

Bella's hand rose to her mouth. Tears formed in her eyes. She stared at the four words, red ink scrawled across thin blue lines. Her heart was beating a mile a minute and she couldn't tear her eyes away from the paper in front of her. When she finally looked up, she saw Edward looking back at her. His eyes—those same beautiful green eyes she looked into that night—were full of love. As she registered the hesitant smile and the anxious look on his face, she realized belatedly that she hasn't answered him yet.

As if she would ever say no to this man.

"Yes, oh yes Edward! Of course I'll marry you!"

His whole face lit up like the fourth of July and he jumped up from the booth, pulling her into his arms. He lifted her off the ground and twirled her around, so incredibly excited and happy.

He stopped finally, lowering her feet to the ground, but not letting her out of his arms. He leaned his forehead against hers for a moment as they stared into each other's watery eyes.

She said yes.

She said _yes_.

He took one of her hands in his and slowly placed it over his beating heart so she could feel his love for her.

With his other hand he signed.

_Yours, forever._

Forever.

She smiled, unable to contain the happiness and light that filled her entire soul. Her soul, that had once been so dark and empty, had been healed by this incredible man she met by chance one extraordinary night in a diner.

"Forever," she whispered.

_**~O~X~O~X~O~X~O~X~**_

_Forever can never be long enough for me_

_To feel like I've had long enough with you_

_Forget the world now we won't let them see_

_But there's one thing left to do_

_Now that the weight has lifted_

_Love has surely shifted my way_

_Marry Me_

_Today and every day_

_Marry Me_

_If I ever get the nerve to say "Hello" in this café_

_Say you will . . ._

_Marry Me._

**~ * B & E * ~**

* * *

**A/N: Okay, yep if you recognized the lyrics, the song for this chapter is Marry Me, by Train. I first heard this song months ago and KNEW it was such a perfect accompaniment for B & E and this chapter. * sigh * :)**

**Song and lyrics here: http:/www . youtube . com/watch?v=Ess2qlVHl6E**

**Also...this is the last chapter. However, there will be an epi. to come. I wasn't planning on one, but I've recently been...inspired. :) **

**So keep this on alert, we're not done yet!**

**:)**


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